Inlaws

My inlaws are abusive. Still I care for them. I always find myself worrying about them and planning for their future and a good happy life with us . I feel a lot of women feel like that.
I read some more posts here about women who feel responsible for inlaws like Anika, so i feel this is something most of us go through. Inlaws should not misuse our love for them to abuse us more, that's all we want. Life can be easier if everyone acts with compassion and appreciates the sacrifices of the other person.It is the feeling of entitlement that destroys relationships.

Contrary to what people mostly declare, youth are pretty idealistic, and DILs want to do justice and show compassion more often than not. It is upto the elders to understand the heart of the youngsters.

When someone is elderly, we just automatically see them as vulnerable and it is disarming . When they grow older,we see them as children maybe, And we may feel angry temporarily, but ultimately we are ready to sacrifice ourselves for them. Secondly, the society teaches us to have zero expectations from inlaws. "inlaws will never love you". So it seeps in and we feel utterly grateful for the faintest of smiles MIL gave us ages ago.Thirdly, once we women get a responsibility, we can never let it go.

And one most important thing. Some women suppress their voice when abused, but the resentment stays inside, and finally they take it out when their son grows up and takes a wife. That is absolutely wrong. We must make sure that the love for our inlaws in genuine and not forced . If any misunderstanding remains, if any resentments remain, we should clarify and resolve those at the right time. It is not at all justified to carry the abuse to the next generation. If that is what we are doing, all the love for the inlaws would be fake.

We must remember, that silently putting up does not make a woman great. Greatness comes from resolving issues, Each woman who puts up silently with abuse, makes it harder for the rest of women by setting a bad example in society. We must definitely care for our inlaws, but we must also resolve the differences. That is the best way to build a true relationship with inlaws, by talking about issues and finding amicable solution than just putting up with gender abuse.