1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Inform Her...

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by aniya, Jan 5, 2021.

  1. aniya

    aniya Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi, i met a guy thru a friend and we become good friends. However i found out later that he sleeps around every week and even had an affair with a hooker for a year. He confessed he has a sort of sex addiction. His wife stays in India and he stays in Dubai. When he tried to get close to me I stopped talking to him. Now should I inform his wife about this? If it was one affair then maybe i would not have bothered but multiple partners and hookers sounds super shady to me and dangerous to his wife. Also he tells people that his wife and he are not really together and are just staying together due to their children and she cheated on him which may not be true at all. Guess he says that to all to get close to women.
     
    Venkat20 likes this.
    Loading...

  2. Venkat20

    Venkat20 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    427
    Likes Received:
    842
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi,
    Do know his wife did not smells about this guy ?
    If you pin your nose you will get hurt. Leave it and let it flow on their own direction.
    You came here to support your family do that and protect yourself.
    Good luck
     
    amunique and Hopikrishnan like this.
  3. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    301
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I really appreciate your thinking to help that wife as indeed she must be made aware of her husbands characterlessness and also that wife should get herself tested for STDs if this husband of hers is really a sex addict and going to prostitutes.

    However that said, take this step very carefully as it might land you up in trouble if that wife turns out to be blind believer of her husband and thinks you are trapping her husband etc.
    It can spoil your peaceful married life too.

    So in the best interest of protecting your sanity and marriage, I would suggest block him totally in everyway (no calls/messages/social media interaction) and forget that he even exists.
     
    MalStrom, SCA and Venkat20 like this.
  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,869
    Likes Received:
    4,931
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Avoid this guy but keep out of it. His wife may be completely oblivious or they may have an understanding. Unless you personally know her this is not your issue.
     
    Venkat20 likes this.
  5. aniya

    aniya Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    i do know her thru a friend and she is blissfully unaware of him doings. I was not going to tell her in person, possibly mail her anonymously though maybe the guy would suspect it was me, no way to be sure. He cannot harm me for sure. I also have some evidence to attach that he meets multiple women and lies about his wife. No, will not be discussing the sleeping around and hooker part as the evidence i have does not support that, this is something that he shared with me personally. The purpose would be to make her alert so she can check whats going on. I feel bad for her. Why does he have to put her down in order to gain sympathy from other women, its such a crass thing to do. Again Im saying that, had it been 1-2 affairs only and he was back on track, I would not have bothered. But this guy is still very much sleeping around, inspite of covid with anyone and everyone.

    And yes i have blocked him out.
     
  6. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    525
    Likes Received:
    647
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    If he is not harming you, stay out of informing anyone. You are not going to get anything . let his wife find out things on her own. trust me it never goes well.

    it is not your problem if this man is sleeping around. and this anonymous things all goes and looks nice in movie. there are 100s of men cheating and 100s of women cheating in this world.

    unless she is related to you or it really affects stay out of it.

    also there is no bar, 1 affair or 10 affairs. there is no middle path. relationship is done with 1 affair.
     
    KayKuyil and KashmirFlower like this.
  7. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    487
    Likes Received:
    740
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    You are a kind person to think about his wife. But I am much sure she knows about it. You telling will be confronting her as to why she puts up with it and there is a fair chance she will lash out on you ( because she hasnt got the guts to do it to him)

    If you want to still try, I wont say no because these guys get away so easily, it boils me. So yeah load the guns and all the best!:grinning-smiley-048:
     
  8. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    580
    Likes Received:
    661
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Male
    Although I agree somewhat with what you say here, I suspect @aniya has her own reasons to squeal on him. In the very first post of this thread, I sensed something else going on. All is fair in love and war.

    I can see why she can be really really bothered, and want to do something. There are many moral stories that advise not to take a failure the first time, when one could try again and again.

    I vote for aniya to go ahead and do her thing. She can feel good, even smug; and will take the consequences, if any. "He" may even come back to her. We would never know.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2021
    KayKuyil and Mistt like this.
  9. aniya

    aniya Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you all for your suggestions. i have decided after a lot of thought and reading your replies that I will let her know. I have evidence that he actually chatted and asked for dates and relationships from other women (who told me because they knew that I know him) and shared their conversations. He tells everyone he is lonely and his wife cheated on him and that they are not together other than for their daughter which is totally untrue and unfair on his part, to put her down. He is mentally sick and a sex addict for sure. He used to even boast to me just before I cut him off as to how easily he got women for ONS's in bars.

    People above who have replied have also said that maybe she knows but there is no way she knows. She is unaware and is a modern independent woman. She deserves to know that she is being fooled and may even fall prey of any diseases. Even if he knows it was me, there is nothing he can do as what I have attached are real conversations and not just my assumptions or theories.

    Will let you guyz know how this turned out!
     
  10. aniya

    aniya Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    60
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all, just to update i sent the mail and signed off as a well wisher, she asked for more info and proof which i said i do not have, then she told me thank you very much for informing her...i feel i did right, so she can take a decision...
     

Share This Page