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Indusladies Will You Let Me Delete My Account? This Is Scary Than Cambridge Analytica Identity Theft

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by lukywife, Apr 22, 2020.

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  1. lukywife

    lukywife Gold IL'ite

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    Indusladies website admin - You need to let me delete accounts. It is very scary to not lot us delete accounts, why do you want to keep our data forever?
     
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  2. lukywife

    lukywife Gold IL'ite

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    For all who don’t even read terms and conditions when creating account:
    I’m checking with legal colleagues as this clause is scary. Think twice, thrice, 100 times before you post in a website that won’t delete your account or identity.
    “You are granting us with a non-exclusive, permanent, irrevocable, unlimited license to use, publish, or re-publish your Content in connection with the Service. You retain copyright over the Content.”
    This is their terms and conditions:

    The providers ("we", "us", "our") of the service provided by this web site ("Service") are not responsible for any user-generated content and accounts ("Content"). Content submitted express the views of their author only.

    You agree to not use the Service to submit or link to any Content which is defamatory, abusive, hateful, threatening, spam or spam-like, likely to offend, contains adult or objectionable content, contains personal information of others, risks copyright infringement, encourages unlawful activity, or otherwise violates any laws.

    All Content you submit or upload may be reviewed by staff members. All Content you submit or upload may be sent to third-party verification services (including, but not limited to, spam prevention services). Do not submit any Content that you consider to be private or confidential.

    We reserve the rights to remove or modify any Content submitted for any reason without explanation. Requests for Content to be removed or modified will be undertaken only at our discretion. We reserve the right to take action against any account with the Service at any time.

    You are granting us with a non-exclusive, permanent, irrevocable, unlimited license to use, publish, or re-publish your Content in connection with the Service. You retain copyright over the Content.

    These terms may be changed at any time without notice.

    If you do not agree with these terms, please do not register or use this Service. If you wish to close your account, please contact us.
     
  3. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    You have more than one account?
    One possible reason: if an account is deleted, all posts by that account also get deleted. That will mean if a post was a thread-starter, that thread will be missing the first post.

    If all posts by a member A are deleted, then, the posts made by other members in response to A's posts lose their value and context.

    Also, one of the aims of such forums is to grow in knowledge and thread numbers over time, and serve as a repository for newer members to read. The purpose and intended lifetime of a thread is not to just help the OP with her current problem or celebrate an achievement.

    Think of it like visiting a hillside covered by acres of bright and beautiful wild flowers. If each visitor plucked one flower and held it in her hand for a picture to post on FB, soon the hillside would be bereft of flowers.

    flowers.jpg
     
    Caughtinbetween likes this.
  4. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Visiting a beautiful hillside is very much different from a post on IL.
    Here we discuss our personal issues - like intimacy, in-laws problems and financial issues. There are sensitive topics on which users seek suggestions. Sometimes, women just vent it out here.
    With growing technology, there is every chance for the posts to be seen by family members.
    Imagine one such post by a wife - seen by her H. She would have written about her family issues or intimacy issues or vented out about her in laws.
    Do you think her life will be okay after her family realised its she who is behind a certain username ?
    Not every woman has such understanding husband and family.

    While I understand this is a business and not just a online help centre - there must be ways for users to delete their posts for their family reasons. Not giving that option is very very inconsiderate.No matter how much I appreciate Indusladies, I find this "no post can be deleted" policy ridiculous.

    To keep the hillside beautiful , lets leave the flowers but pluck the thorns.
    Likewise, lets leave the blogs, stories, serials and allow people to delete their posts which threaten their family life.

    I wish that was the case.
    This statement is outright lie.
    The only way to get out of here is to be nasty , rude and be inappropriate.

    There is no way we can be respectful and leave the site with dignity.

    I requested for deactivation of my account. I received the following reply.

    My request :
    Hi Admin,
    Could you please deactivate my account on IL.
    Reason : I came here for a solution to my issue and I got what I want. Since there is no way I can remove my posts, the only alternative is to deactivate my account to safe guard my relationships.
    Thank you

    Response I got:
    We are glad you got what you came for to Indusladies! There is nothing like deactivating an account from our end, other than banning for inappropriate participation if any. So if you don't feel like participating anymore for now, you may choose to not login to your account. That way later when you choose to come back it is there for you to use!

    We do not delete posts made or user accounts once created. Then this site would be like a black box, everyone simply coming for what they want and then wiping away their trace here, there will be nothing left here to benefit from what has been shared here.

    Here's the screenshot, for those of you who think I am lying.
    Capture.PNG
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2020
  5. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with @sbonigala that users should have right to delete the account .
     
  6. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    +1
     
  7. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

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    basically you pay a prize for posting in this website since the content will be owned the person who runs the website . Most of the times users are desperate to find help and they may not read the clauses completely . Maybe adding a warning message before a new thread getting created specifically saying that the user cannot deactivate the account should help .

    I cannot stop myself from asking you this but some of your threads look like they are created to increase traffic and not real time problems . Do you get kickbacks for posting such threads ?
     
    sbonigala likes this.
  8. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    The hillside flowers analogy stands. As more flowers (personal posts by members) get pulled out, the hillside gets altered negatively.

    I understand the possible damage to a woman's life if her husband or in-laws identify her posts, but I also understand that allowing such account deletions or deletion of many posts by one member is difficult to implement.

    "There must be ways for users to delete their posts for family reasons."
    Try to think about allowing this from the admins point of view. What will be acceptable reasons? How to fix the damage caused in threads and perhaps the database by such deletions?

    It is a tough situation all round when a member is desperate, panic-stricken and wants her account or posts deleted. I don't know much about this but my guess is that the best option is to get in touch with admins, state the situation and see how they can help mitigate the damage. From my experience, the admins are not sitting there eager to enforce the rules at the drop of a hat; they also want to help members.

    Not specific to online forums, but this has been my experience: rules are there for a reason even if we don't understand the need, and rules evolve over time. If you ask quietly and nicely, you will get what you are requesting or a close enough alternate. I am seeing this right now as a family member is on the phone and email contact for hours with an important provider. People want to help and we can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
     
  9. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    : ) I have been asked this a few times over the years. No, I do not receive any kind of monetary or other benefit.
     
    peartree likes this.
  10. Swetha52003

    Swetha52003 Silver IL'ite

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    I agree with sbonigala. Rihana, I thought having multiple id is common in forums like this. Sometimes we can be thoughtful and some other times sparkit,right?
     
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