Indian Woman : the identity search

bmaquarius · Aug 10, 2015

I just read the article on what defines a women's identity - a very soul searching question it is, pertinent to every woman regardless of position, whether tending hearth or office. Coinciding with Indian Independence Day celebrations where 1 billion will chant with religious fervour the very poignantly famous RabindranathTagore's National Anthem .......where mind is held without fear.......into that land let my country awaken..........defining human dignity to be supreme.
Then why should a woman rest with anything less. Today 68 years after Independence, India has not been able to secure freedom, equality or safety for it's woman as enshrined in the Constitution. Let us step out of our city radius of proliferating malls , swanky pubs, hotels and towering skyscrapers, metro rail, golf course and clubs abound.
Look beyond and you will encounter the other India fossilised in time as seen in Passage to India. Deeply seeped in tradition, conservatism and rooted in orthodoxy. We pride in our culture, flaunting it at the drop of a skirt. And it is right here where rape, dowry deaths, female foeticide, and infanticide rage, which speaks of the abject moral depravity in our people, subjects that do not merit much social attention and space to a nation in tearing hurry. National culture is defined by the way it treats it's women. If this is us - then our cultural war with jeans, mobile phone, Valentine's day, English education etc. looks abysmally juvenile in comparison.
There is nothing more abnoxious and repulsive than women lacking sanitation facilities having to relieve themselves after nightfall or before dawn and menfolk are up and about , and even there they are preyed upon. This is the India where being a girl child is a burdening fight for space and soul. Where bereft of basic school education, the journeys begin and end with stoking of kitchen fires, with never really having a choice of study, career, or future where even marriage or sex is never consensual. This is where identities are defined by parental home and later appended to marital household, always taught to remain a good daughter, a dutiful daughter in law, an obedient wife, giving mother and indulgent uncomplaining grandparent in twilight years. This isn't really description of domestic chattel but a journey of any nondescript Indian women shepherded from cradle to altar and beyond.

Indian women never really had any choice between the devi and dayan. A country that reveres 'shakti' as 'mother goddess' it is distinctly afraid of the real one. However, cosmetically we may depict modern India describing 'my choice', daring and raring on silver screens, in media or glamour world, these are peripherals not focal to the ethos or problems faced by millions of Indian women.

I, believe, Freedom defines the core of a women's identity. Freedom to live and breathe freely without being stifled at every step. Freedom to step unguarded, freedom to be fearless to make her informed choice empowered by education. Freedom to stumble and fall , make and learn from mistakes , without a thousand eyes saying 'we told you so'. Freedom as ordained by birth not destiny.

anika987 · Aug 10, 2015

Very well written and the last paragraph is so true!

Viswamitra · Aug 10, 2015

@bmaquarius,

Thank you for presenting what is considered as true freedom for women in a very eloquent write up. Patriarchal society is no longer sustainable. The despicable act of terror against women continues to happen irrespective of whether they live in the urban or rural areas. Many times, such atrocities happen at home as well. There has to be a paradigm shift in the way people think in India. The act of transferring women from one family to another like an asset should stop. If a man has a right to choose his life partner, so does woman. Both boys and girls should be raised with equality. Higher education should be given to every child whether it is male or female. The marriage has to be between two consenting adults. Any violent act against women should result in the culprits punished within 30-90 days through accelerated case management by a designated court.

There has to be effort made from both men and women to bring a system that works equally for men and women. There should never be a mix up between culture and social values and social values should not be buried under the mask of the culture. Men and women should be part and parcel of growth and development of the nation whether as politicians, parliamentarians, officers in a government, public or private sector.

I honestly believe that there has to be a drastic effort made both by men and women to change the social fabric of the country. Everything can never be resolved through the government and there has to be a pragmatic approach by the people to resolve the inequality. If a woman is harassed in the neighborhood, people around her should rise up to question the perpetrators. It is not a fight by and for the women and it is a national issue. Freedom and liberty is something that is felt and not obtained from anyone.

Viswa

satchitananda · Aug 11, 2015

Amazingly well written piece. You have painted a perfect picture of things the way they are. As such, I really have nothing more to add to what you have said. Looking forward to more contributions from you. :-D

kaniths · Aug 11, 2015

Look beyond and you will encounter the other India fossilised in time as seen in Passage to India. Deeply seeped in tradition, conservatism and rooted in orthodoxy. We pride in our culture, flaunting it at the drop of a skirt. And it is right here where rape, dowry deaths, female foeticide, and infanticide rage, which speaks of the abject moral depravity in our people, subjects that do not merit much social attention and space to a nation in tearing hurry. National culture is defined by the way it treats it's women. If this is us - then our cultural war with jeans, mobile phone, Valentine's day, English education etc. looks abysmally juvenile in comparison.
Click to expand...

This is the India where being a girl child is a burdening fight for space and soul. Where bereft of basic school education, the journeys begin and end with stoking of kitchen fires, with never really having a choice of study, career, or future where even marriage or sex is never consensual. This is where identities are defined by parental home and later appended to marital household, always taught to remain a good daughter, a dutiful daughter in law, an obedient wife, giving mother and indulgent uncomplaining grandparent in twilight years. This isn't really description of domestic chattel but a journey of any nondescript Indian women shepherded from cradle to altar and beyond.
Click to expand...

We could sit in the comfort of AC & discuss to any length what should be done & what not but THIS is the harsh reality out there! While rest of the world is moving forward / towards Women Empowerment & Equality, India is still (shamefully) stuck in the Liberation phase, even after 68 years of independence!

If reforms & transformations are a slow & gradual process... Its still a long road of struggles ahead for Indian women to break free every knot in the chain she is being bounded with, in the name of religion / tradition / culture / caste or just because she is a female! (Let's not forget the documentary that showed us the inhuman sides of the rapists who did not even seem to have a slightest form of regret!!)

Wonderfully put in words, Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

jayasala42 · Aug 11, 2015

A superfine article delineating the real complexion of the society.The very fact that India is advocating about swachcha bharat after 68 years of independence is a revealing undigestable fact.I think there is no use of blaming men alone for this condition. Women have dutifully nurtured and offered enough fuel to the patriarchal set up.Woman should also realise that she is not secondary to men.When situation turns that way, identity will be within our reach.You need not run after identity.

Jayasala 42

joylokhi · Aug 11, 2015

Dear op,
a Really well written piece. Your last para sums it all. Sadly we have a very long way to go to achieve this.

iyerviji · Aug 11, 2015

Congratulations for being nominated by Viswamitra and Satchi for this awesome post and the awesome reply given by Cheeniya Sir. Very well written

periamma · Aug 11, 2015

@bmaquarius well said .verbal respect given to women and not given from inner heart .we have to travel a long way to get an Identity from society .

bmaquarius · Aug 11, 2015

I appreciate the comments, views and the effort to share and empathise with the story of any average Indian woman. I only wish the immense contributions sacrifices are acknowledged by people while according her rightful place in society.