Independent or not?

IndianQueen · Apr 21, 2013

Hi ils, was just evaluating things in my life and suddenly a thought bumped in my head- why is it a man's duty to take care of his wife? If we want freedom, equality and mutual self respect, why do we women want to be taken care of by our husbands?

I live abroad and here many women don't depend on their husbands for anything, they live life independently, they don't wish to be taken care of by their husbands. On the other hand they command good respect and mutual understanding from their husband, neither are they expected to cook, clean or wash. Each one earns and either of them can clean or cook, it's not a rule of the house that wife cooks for hubby and hubby take care of wife.

However, being brought up and married in India, we feel its the husbands 'duty' to take of us wives, we feel bad we are not given respect or ill treated or don't cook at home, or take care of household chores...

Why is it so eminent in Indian culture that husband takes care of house and wife cooks n takes care of households though both of them are earning members of the family?

beingloved · Apr 21, 2013

I think the scenario is changing. In metro cities in India, new age marriages are becoming popular very fast where chores are divides, personal space is there, each spouse has his/her own friend circle to hang out with, maintaining healthy relationships with ex is not a taboo and much more.

It'll take time for small cities to catch up

anahita5 · Apr 22, 2013

I want to be cared for by my husband and give him the same...

meetmeonline · Apr 22, 2013

I think this is no more the scenario, when both spouse are working, it is usually not a big deal if the women do not cook. Only thing is you need to have an understanding partner. I am blessed my DH helps in house chores and never complains or tells in front of his mother. Though I do not expect much from him, but he never complains if I wish to not cook some of the days.

Quebec · Apr 22, 2013

Well if you think being independent can guarantee freedom, respect and equality......

Then to each his/her own.......

I would say i like the institution of marriage as it gives us someone to depend upon always at anytime anyplace any circumstance.......

Dont we depend upon out family for everthing..... For support, for encouragement for 'TAKING CARE' of us........

And after marriage another person enters the group of people called family.........

So i would like that the same rules apply to everyone in the family.......

Now all people cannot do the same task....each member should have certain tasks assigned so that the marrige carriage pulls in the desired diresction.........

Now who does what task should be debatable and flexibility for change should be there...........

Other ILiets maybe will give better reply to your query............

peeks · Apr 22, 2013

Guess it depends on each scenario... When I was working my DH and I worked equally on all our financials and other such things. Now I am not working....he does all, I do most of the house work, but he still asks my advise on finances and how what etc.