Inanimate? Ha!

Yep, that’s what they told me. That’s what my text books in 4th grade, or was it 3rd, may be 5th, told me. They told me they are called inanimate objects (IO) because they have no life; hence cannot move on their own, cannot grow, cannot think, cannot….

And I believed the whole thing; poor naïve me.

Well, maybe… just maybe, one or two of them are true, such as not move on their own, or not grow.

But one thing I am positive that these IOs do better than us humans. What... speak only for myself? Ok.
The one thing I am positive that these IOs can do better than me is, think! Yeah! Think!
I am amazed at their capacity to come up with complicated problems.
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The leaders of this IO team in our household are our cars. The moment they come out of the hospital, I mean, dealer’s store, they act and behave in such a way that my two-year-olds’ tantrums pale in comparison.

Last winter, one day my car’s tire icon suddenly lit on the dash board when I was about to leave for work. I got down and checked the tire pressure. The rear left tire showed very low pressure. So I pumped it, and left for work.

The next morning same thing, and the third day too. Tired of measuring the tires and pumping air with cold numb hands, we took the car to the doctor (service center).

Diagnosis. Without my knowledge, my car had developed a sudden love for sharp objects and got one attached to this tire. Yep, puncture! Only a new tire would work. After shelling a considerable amount on those black rings, we brought home this naughty car that threw a spanner in our budget.

Hmm … need to borrow from Paul to pay Peter again. Resignedly we went about our work totally unaware that all these goings-on were being closely observed.

Two days later, just as I leave for work I notice my H switch on the air machine to his car’s left rear tire. Same warning. He takes his car to the hospital, same diagnosis, and comes back with brand new tires.

H’s car was so envious of my car’s new tires that it did what my car did. Get into the same trouble! Same type of sharp object, same rear left tire. In just two days! Don’t you agree that this is height of sibling jealousy, ever? This simply cannot be coincidence, can it?
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The car that loved our family.

Our first car in the US was an old second hand talking car. It would warn us “key is in the ignition”, “left door open” “right door open” and “fuel level is low”!

Poor girl; she was growing old and would fall sick often. Doctor’s bills began to climb each time she fell ill.

Often, we would discuss if we should replace her and let her go. It was as if she heard us and determined not to leave our home, she would go on beautifully smooth, giving us no trouble. After few months observing that she was still good, we would say, “Let’s keep her for some more time”. Immediately she would take “rest”, knowing she was safe.

Years rolled by like this and eventually we decided to donate her. When they took her away we felt like losing a beloved family member.

My parents who visited us a week or so later, were a bit disappointed because they were looking forward to hear a car “talk”.

We took our parents on a weeklong tour and when we returned….there she was, occupying our drive-way again.

She missed us so bad that she had to come back to see us, and also to meet my parents! After spending a week or so with us, she was lifted on to the tow truck again and we bid her a final farewell. (We had not filled some information in the donation form; hence her return)
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Moving inside the home I have the dishwasher, washer, dryer, air conditioner, refrigerator, food processor - all with minds of their own. Minds of their own but unanimous on one thing. Just as I hear many stories of household help in my families “taking off” without informing them, my appliances also do the same.

I always had a doubt that observing my habits for many years they have come to the conclusion that they too need weekends off. So, whenever it takes their fancy they stop operating, but only on Friday evenings.

This way, with appliance repair stores closed on weekends, they have a guaranteed two days off doing nothing except happily stare at me. This happened so often that I dread Fridays.

As a matter of fact, I began dreading Fridays since my children were born. Somehow the kids always fell ill on Friday evenings. I can count the number of days I took them to their pediatrician. I cannot count the number of Saturdays I was sitting in the “weekend urgent care” clinics.

I was so looking forward to fearless Fridays when kids went off to college, but you know my home appliances have a mind of their own. They seem to be sticklers for the tradition of “fearful Fridays”. So much so, that every Friday when I light the lamp for evening prayers, I chant “sarve appliances sukhino bhavantu” and some days I’ve even offered vadai and payasam. I might be the only person on earth to welcome Mondays with the slogan, “TGIM!”
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Then there’s the computer.
She always goes on strike whenever I sit with her. Every time, without fail, the moment my H gets up to come over to check, she immediately fires up and works smoothly making me look stupid. I am sure she does it deliberately because it always ends up with H crooning to her and blaming me.

But then I reckoned, why will not the computer behave when my H is close by? He has spent so much money on her that even half of it spent on me would have me glittering in diamonds today.
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There is one major unsolved mystery that quite unnerves me. It is this. How is it that all gadgets die the very next day the warranty expires? On a couple we had bought extra warranty over what the manufacturer offered. It is uncanny that these gadgets wait till the extra warranty expired and the next day they stopped working.

Never have I had the pleasure of returning, or replacing a gadget within the warranty period.

All these have convinced me that IOs have a mind on their own. Don't you agree too?

I am off to the school board to tell them to rewrite those elementary grade science books when it comes to inanimate objects.

(Disclaimer:This article is lighthearted. No reference to the cars on today’s roads that have the collision avoidance and other “thinking” computers built in them)

 

Thank you @umaakumar .
Glad you liked it.

 

Thank you Pushpa ma'am @PushpavalliSrinivasan. I am glad you feel lighthearted and enjoyed reading my snippet.
This means a lot to me ma'am. I am happy.

 

Thank you for the warm welcome Sabitha @Srama. I did have trepidation about writing again. Your warm welcome is like tonic.

What an apt song! The poor guy sounds really desperate and worried.

Ahha! So these are the culprits, the motors/engines! Yes, thinking about it it is true. We face all these behaviors only from those motorized appliances. Perhaps this what "inviting trouble " means.

Good. I am so glad you are perplexed too. We should start a movement against this conspiracy!

Thanks again Sabs.

 

True @shyamala1234 They behave like kids right? It is very hard to believe they are just machines sometimes.

LOL!
Your fridge is like my computer. Troubles us but behaves when the expert comes in. Really amazing!

Thank you Shyamala. Glad you liked it.