In-laws very important for marriedlife

Hi latha,

That dialogue is good. you have brought out the contents very well.

but enna porutha varaikkum...when you want to see someone as nallavanga...you will forget all the negative...and if you are already wearing a shade in your eyes...you will see only those colors that you get to see through the shade..:tongue because no body is born nallavanga/kettavanga...

one thing, everybody has good and bad. no human can be too perfect..if they are then you have seen god.:-D. just accept them as they are...then your relations are all good...if you start finding faults...even if they are god you will find mistakes....

Yes we need all relations, the blessings, the guidance and everything. but you need to keep space. today every relationship needs a space....amrithamum adhikamaanal vishamagum...it applies to all relationship...ex..over chellam from parents/grandparents can work bad for your child.....

But i would like to add, in today's world you cannot be nallaval for everybody....you tend to be -ve for somebody...laws of life/nature of today....:bang:bang.

Hope i have come to explain in line with what you were expecting.....:thumbsup

 

Hi Latha,

I agree with Shanvy.

We cannot satisfy everyone at a given time. This creates friction in the family whether between hubby, wife and kid/inlaws/parents/freinds (any relationship), its the same.

Never expect anything from anyone. So if anything or anyone is not upto the expectation, just accept as it is. Dont feel hurt. To err is human but to FORGIVE IS DIVINE.

Relationship with anyone is like a rose flower with thorny stem. If you think of only the rose then you will be happy and you dont feel hurt when thorn pricks you.

Naan rumba suthi valikama solrane, latha nee sona million la oru vartha romba true. In laws are very important for married life. Everything is in your hand. There is always fight in any relationsship, if there is no fight, then you should assume relation doesnt exit. But there is solution to all problems in this world, but it depends on every individual how they take it and solve it.

 

Hi LM,

I like that movie very much and has seen that humpty number of times...That was a great dialogue...

Everyperson in the world has both good qualities and bad ones.. If a person is good to somebody he may be bad to another... Also, what you consider as good need not have to be good for the other person and vice versa...

When you get married to a person... You can say that I am marrying only him and not his whole family... But with Indian culture you actually are.... You have to accept them with all their + & -..

It not possible -- NOT TO EXPECT. It is easily said than done...

My wife used to tell me... It is all in your hands... How to handle the people and the situations... If you know how to manage people you can bring the good out of evan the worst person...

So, in my opinion, it is all in your hands... I always believe, if you shower true love and affection, you will get the same....

 

I am not questioning anybody's opinion here (with due respect to all)..but what abt those in laws who send the dil out of the house at 8pm in the night.& who dont even care to ask her how she is after she has lost her father...
Sometimes I feel when u have tried everything but still the in laws r not ready to accept that a dil is also a human being then it is better to ignore them in ur lives.A dil cannot spend her entire life in making the in laws accept her into the house.
But it will be so gud if everybody has gud feelings for each others & they stay together.Sharing happiness and sorrow & gud & bad is the best culture we can give our future children..

 

Hi Latha,

I <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comffice:smarttags" /><st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName>o like this movie a lot...even though it is a 'super duper masala movie’; there are lot of punch dialogues, Esp. ' yaettu kulla ullagam irruku' song! I simply love that song!

well, coming <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> the point...I look that this in a different angle, The in-laws seriously hunt for a bride, who should have good looks/ education/employment/ family back ground etc.... will have double the fear & expectation from the girl. As they say, <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> get a daughter married is easy but <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> get an understanding D-L is more difficult as she makes or breaks the family!

Well, the sun even though it raises in the east it has <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> set in the west, similarly,
The in-laws who are like the sun in the east, shines bright, can dominate till the mid day but at the end of the day they need <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> come <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> the west (i.e.) succumb <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> the D-L.

To conclude, the bride first needs <st1ersonName w:st="on">to</st1ersonName> focus on her husband & their relationship, the rest all comes next!:thumbsup

 

latha,

I am not a very matured person...i just have learnt from what life has handed me..... sometimes how relatives can be....

yesterday went to a death in the evening. all are mil's relatives...i went in paid homage to the soul..then just sat there for sometime...one of them started...you did not come to my golu for vethalai paakku...everybody else came....only you...(I was like so angry.....edam porul idu ethuvumae illaiyya....????) just came home...but while coming back... i was thinking...eva ivvaluvu thaan forget... (that is they are just that...forget it..) some say kutram parkaiyile sutram illai...(if you find faults always you will not have relatives...) but today it is different i know that......

tomorrow..if my kids behave differently than what i dream i am going to be hurt...so no expectation..they are my responsibility...i have to bring them up as good human beings...and i love them without any conditions...(if they love me back...well and good..if not it is fine...)

It is easy to write..but when something hurts...i also feel like blowing the whistle.. (get angry,scream and shout...) but what is the use....nothing.....

Looks like you have are emotionally hurt...time heals...but to forgive and move forward is life....otherwise life moves on and we are left behind in the time...at the end we are the losers...nobody else......