In-laws - North vs South

swaram · May 19, 2010

My IL's are from the South, but after marriage they lived in the North for almost 40 years. Frequently during conversations I have heard them mention " you know how the people from South behave, South Indian buddhi etc." They don't even realise that they are from the South originally and that I am from south too and might not like these comments. According to them North Indians are aristocrats while South Indians are the opposite and they by default of living in the North are aristocrats.

My opinion about them is if they claim North Indians are aristocrats and by living there for 40+ years they have turned aristocrats, then they should not be making these comments in the first place. Whether my IL's, consider them South (by birth) or North ( by migration) either way I have faced lots of problems from MIL and SIL's. They probably managed to learn the worst of both North and South.

Swaram

RadiantCat · May 19, 2010

Swaram: In the general discussion forum there's a talk going on about North vs South. I had mentioned the same. SI's from NI think they hae simply landed from Pluto and the SI's are some meek earthlings that are uncouth and country brutes.

I carefully avoid SI's from NI for this one primary reason. My personal experiences within the family and outside the family has never been good. They start the conversation as "You know these Madrasis..." They will be a group of Tamils but the tongues will twist for Hindi in the presence of the Tamil crowd.

I don't know about the other regions but the Tamil crowd from NI is horrible. The worst part is they pretend as if they don't know Tamil.

The SI from NI want DILs from SI but Son-in-laws only from North.

parvathi1980 · May 19, 2010

Actually in laws like to look down upon their dil's family...mine was an arranged marriage...within the same caste and everything...but my mom's family is originally from Uttar Pradesh...My in laws are from Delhi...so they always make it a point to criticise people of our community living nd belonging to UP!
I find it funny now coz my parents live in Delhi and my in laws are living in UP...:rotfl

ShilpaMa · May 19, 2010

Am A NI had as mentioned on lot many threads, needless to speak anymore on inlaw issue.
Human nature and emotions remain same across land, what makes a difference is prevelant trends/ rules of the society and safety of a lady whether she can live all by herself.

In NI parents generally SEND OFF their daughter forever, the famous send off phrase during bidaai was/ is:
"If you stay with us even for months with no tiffs with DH or inlaws you're most welcome.. however if you come post fight then even 1 day stay shall be very heavy"

Lesser job opportunity & also most of the non-major NI cities dont have much option for a lady to stay single.. as a result a lady has lesser choices but to make peace with her current cirumstances... wherever this condition prevails the inlaws shall appear smoother.

SoundVijay · May 19, 2010

Hallo ASG

"but bottom line is all have long list of expectations, and if one expectation isn't met, hell can break lose".

This is more than cent pert true:yes:

The beauty in their expectations is that even they would not have met those when they were DILs.:biglaugh

Regards,

Sound.

Varloo · May 19, 2010

Very interesting thread! I too feel that people are good and bad everywhere.
In SI, a woman has ties with her maternal fmaily till her death. Her people have to bring in goodies to her for every occasion and she too is expected to return these rituals as and when needed. The new dress which is draped on the dead body of a woman is from her maternal house only.
But in NI, the woman is sent off after the marriage, once for all. They need not come home for anything. not even for childbirth.
So SIs have a chance to illtreat the DIL and her family always. In NI, this is not so.
I watched 2 English movies sometime back which depicted bad MILs- one even murdered her son and put the blame on her DIL .

RadiantCat · May 19, 2010

Maybe we SIs need a Bidaai ceremony. I think this is the one where all of them cry; I recall someone telling me that it is also called as Rone Ka Karyakram.

I have seen that in hindi movies. The lady throws something at the back without looking at that direction. Oh yes, I have seen that in Hum Aapke Hain Kaun. Interestingly when I searched for Bidaai, Google returned Aishwarya's Bidaai. Someday, she must be invited here; or perhaps who knows she's already a member here and venting out to glory. :biglaugh:biglaugh:biglaugh

raha256 · May 19, 2010

CanWait said: ↑

Swaram: In the general discussion forum there's a talk going on about North vs South. I had mentioned the same. SI's from NI think they hae simply landed from Pluto and the SI's are some meek earthlings that are uncouth and country brutes.

I carefully avoid SI's from NI for this one primary reason. My personal experiences within the family and outside the family has never been good. They start the conversation as "You know these Madrasis..." They will be a group of Tamils but the tongues will twist for Hindi in the presence of the Tamil crowd.

I don't know about the other regions but the Tamil crowd from NI is horrible. The worst part is they pretend as if they don't know Tamil.

The SI from NI want DILs from SI but Son-in-laws only from North.
Click to expand...

well said. even i have noticed the same:hide:.

raha

RadiantCat · May 19, 2010

Well, I recall one of my relatives from a godforsaken place from Maharashtra saying she will not get her daughter married to someone from SI, because they cannot adjust with this culture. But her DIL is from Chennai.

I call these people as pseudo SIs and they can neither fit entirely in the NI community nor with the SI community. They are more mean and stingy than the SIs.