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If you become a MIL, what would you do??

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by puni88, Jul 14, 2007.

  1. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello,
    RIght now we are all DILs and many of us curse our MIL for the harrassing nature.
    Tomorrow we grow older and we will become MIL and would you be possessive about your son? how would to treat your DIL?

    I would consider my DILs as my own daughter (as I don't have daughter) and I pray god to give me a good mind and heart to become a good MIL and not a Monster-in-law.

    ~Punitha
     
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  2. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    I wish you every success for your future dreams of wanting to be a nice mil...Only...don't expect your dil to say so...And that's where the secret lies. You want to be a good mil without expectations.
    As for me, I am a loving mil I think!!!!!! What my sil thinks is another matter:tongue

    L, Kamla
     
  3. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    Ha ha.. Nice reply Kamla.

    I liked the thread. Because I do have some serious plans to be a good MIL.. Thats different topic that I dont have a kid yet, :mrgreen: forget boy or gal.
    My MIL has been one of the best one. And My mom's MIL was nt bad either. So we are little lucky on MIL dept . :tongue
    I would do what all great things my MIL has done to me.. And in addition some extra bonus affectionate things :yes:

    greats by my MIL

    - She never take sides for my hubby
    - She has never expected me to do any chore by myself. She always helps.
    - She truely treats me like a daughter
    - She never taunted me for a single penny of dowry. Though she herself got hefty dowry on her marriage and they gave lots of money for my SIL's marriage
    - She is very loving
    - When I do whatever lil acts of goodness. She openly appreciates it and always tells everyone
    - If we are left on one island alone. We can spend years happily without missing anyone :mrgreen: We are that good frends
    - My ILs have given me so much love and freedom, that sometimes I demand things like I do from my parents.

    My other great plans..

    - For once I will send my kid and their spouse on surprise luxury vacation
    - I will let them be free from parental pressure.
    - I will divide my wealth equally in my kids and their spouse and also my sibling's kids and their spouse.
    - I will never taunt my DIL.. Like my MIL. My MIL never taunted me for anything.. And I just love the fact that people dont misuse authority and their situation.
    - and every New year I will give my DIL a regular gift. Becos I want to give her.

    Thats all for now.
     
  4. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Kamala,
    For sure I will not expect anything from anybody. I Just want to be a good human, then everything will fall in its place.
    TO add this, I will definetly not follow my MIL which makes anybody's life miserable.

    ~Punitha
     
  5. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    nice thread.
    Sure, I learnt a lot from my MIL, how- not- to- be when we are in the same position.
    Respect their privacy.
    advice them only when asked.
    not to demand to get things done to me.
    Not to be a burden to them, either phyically or mentally. Help them in ways I can.
    I am usually a person who will observe people and accept as they are. so I think it is easier to get adjusted.
    for this I should be healthly, physically and mentally which is also a grace from God ,in our old age.
    their views might differ from our views( the present dils) as our views are different from our mils.
    It is easier said than done. so we should practice them from now on.
    Have positive outlook always.:yes:
    Sriniketan
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2007
  6. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    hai folks,
    sorry to say all dreams are great but u know u need to pray for a nice person to understand u, because the puppetier above always enjoys spoiling things and enjoys the brickbats. in short if u r good, dont expect anything in return not even appreciation, then u r the best MIL in the world...regards sunkan
     
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  7. geeta79

    geeta79 Bronze IL'ite

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    Nice thread started by punitha......

    Though im married recently and dont have any kids as of now, surely i think wat i would be like a MIL.
    If i become a MIL, i would :
    - Like to have good health in old age so that my SIL and DIL dont have to worry about me and my husband and take care of us. Of course i would want to have kids who would take care of us, but i wouldnt like to be a burden on them.
    - Have a heart and not to be possessive about my son. Let him and my DIL live the life they want to and never interfere in their matters unless necessary.
    - Always praise my DIL for all the good works she does however small they are.
    - I wouldnt want to live with my SIL and DIL after their marriage, becos i think that all couples need their privacy in the early days of their marriage and even afterwards, they want to live their own way. Of course i would want to be there to help them.
    - I hope not to be partial between my daughter and DIL, and give them equal importance. Becoz being a DIL myself, i hope to understand wat she goes through being in a completely new environment and a new family.
    - I would want to be nice to her and support her so that she may love me the same way she loves her own mother.

    Well all these things are just in the mind as of now, Lets see wat life has to give me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
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  8. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Sunkan,
    Thanks for the tips.

    ~Punitha
     
  9. Shobanag

    Shobanag Bronze IL'ite

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    I have to say that I am very very lucky to have a MIL who is great! I have no complaints at all - she is very loving towards me and is always telling our relatives how happy she is with me and that she has no concerns about her son or his family because of me! She never interferes in our personal life - I cannot ask for more. We are like good friends - I have a daughter and I hope I can be "mom" to my SIL.
     
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  10. MeenLoch

    MeenLoch Silver IL'ite

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    When I reach the age of being an MIL, ( i dont know if I ll have a son), I ll be as happening as her or maybe more. I will have my own business, my own circle of friends to talk /bitch ;-), my own meetings and functions to attend.

    If we have common interests, we ll pamper ourselves, we ll maybe cook together. If we do not match in personality, I ll still make her comfortable with me and build the trust a relationship needs.

    I ll give gifts to her then and there.
    Also I ll respect her privacy, her life, which means I ll stay at a distance.
    There is one thing which I find extremely true, some relationships grow when we stay close, spend time together, some grow when we stay at a distance, being in touch through calls and e-mails and some regular visits. So identifying what is of which type is important.

    As someone already said in the threads, I ll have to maintain my health. That s of supreme importance. Also not to forget how I felt as a DIL..The next time I want to remember about this is then, in future.

    Idealistic everything sounds, but atleast this i will serve as a goal chart, a standard I set for myself.
     

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