Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vatsi, Feb 1, 2006.

  1. vatsi

    vatsi Bronze IL'ite

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    My friend send me this and I want to share this with all my friends

    U r an Indian if........

    1.Everything u eat is savoured in garlic,onion,tomatoes.

    2.U try n re-use gift-wrapped, gift boxes n of course aluminium foil.

    3.U r standing next to the 2 largest suitcases at the airport.

    4.U arrive 1 or 2 hours late to a party n think it's normal.

    5.U peel the stamps off letters that the postal service missed to mark up.

    6.U recycle wedding gifts.

    7.U talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house.

    8.U load up the family car with as many people as possible.

    9.U use plastic to cover anything new in ur house whethe r it's remote control, VCR, carpet or the new couch.

    10.U buy n display crockery, which is for special occassions, which never occur.

    11.U feel like u've gotten a good deal if u didn't pay tax.

    12.U never learnt how to stand in a queue.

    13.U can only travel if there r at least 5 persons to see u off(or receive you) whether u r travelling by bus, train or plane.

    14. U only make long distance calls after 11 pm(when rates become half).

    15.It's embarrassing if ur wedding has less than 600 people.

    16. U treat the NRIs (especially from America) as if they r the only persons living in this world (including U).

    17. U have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

    18. U call an older person whom u have never seen as "UNCLE".

    WITH THE RETURN OF NRI...........

    20. Tries to use Credit card in road side hotel.

    19. Drinks n carries Mineral water n always speaks of Health(proving to be very health concious).

    18. Sprays DEO so that he doesn't need to take bath.

    17. Sneezes n says 'Excuse Me'.

    16. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi". Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi". Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate". Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit". Says "Freeway" instead of "Highway". Says "Got to go" instead of "Have to go". Says "oh" instead of "Zero". (for 704, says Seven Oh Four instead of Seven Zero four)

    15. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

    14. Says all the distance in miles (Not in kilometers), n counts in Millions (Not in lakhs).

    13. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible(but deep down the heart, multiplies by 49).

    12. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY & on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY says
    "Oh! British Style!!!"

    11. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of milk packet.

    10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time n Indian road conditions.

    9. Even after 2 months, complains about "Jet Lag"

    8. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of "Normal Coke"

    7. Tries to complain about anything in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

    6. Avoids eating more chilli (hot) stuff.

    5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", n "module" as "Mojule"

    4. Looks suspiciously towards a Hotel/Dhabha food.

    Few more important stuffs

    3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by which he travelled back to India, even after 4 months of arrival.

    2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

    And the Ultimate one

    1. Tries to begin conversation with "In US..." or "when I was in US".

    I hope every one Enjoyed

    Crazy Vatsi
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