I Was Hurt! I Am Fine!

Dear Indhu,

Well said. I should thank Her for having been hurt. Or else I would not have known fully the love of my GFs and Her love as well.

The poem might not be exactly a happy one. But nor is it gloomy. In a way it's an expression of fullness and a declaration of readiness to accept whatever that comes along my way.

But, Indhu, of all the persons, you would know that there is a vast difference between what I am and what people think I am. My constant prayer to Her is to completely eliminate this difference, by raising me up to the level of people's expectations.

thanks a lot,Indhu.
love,

 

Dear Sowpar,
You have hit the nail on its head by using the correct word - sabbatical. A sabbatical has many objectives and the most important of them is this. A person should know his place better. So long as he is there chained in that place, he could not do that. So he is sent away on sabbatical not to look at another place, but look his own place from afar. That's what I did and that was the one that healed the hurt.

Well after realising that I could be hurt by things like this, I am not at all sure of my maturity or understanding. At times I even feel that at this age, 50 plus, I should start all over again. Let's see.

I am also waiting for that "some day" to know the reason. But right now after writing this post and after seeing the loving replies from you and all other ILites, I have gained the power to forgive myself (for I had my own share of wrongs) and all others whom I mistakenly thought had committed wrongs.

Yes there'd be more cheer in my posts hereafter. Of course we have the serial coming soon.
Thanks once again, Sowpar.
love,

 

Dear Vanaja,
I love the way you have responded. Politely expressing your views with extraordinary firmness. I bow down to your social and communication skills. A beautiful post like yours tempts me to give a blow by blow, I am sorry line by line reply.

Agreed Hiranyakasipu did not have love or devotion for God. But do you mean to say that our Lord did not reside in such a heart? Do you want to say that God is so mean, that he loves only those who love him. Not at all, Vanaja. At least not the God I know. Not the God I've been worshipping all my life. Even if we hate him, He loves. Even if we say that He is not there, He recognises our existence and loves us more. If God were to love only those who love Him, then God would be no better than us, human beings. God loved Hiranyan so much that he wanted to separate him from the evil.

This was an amusing statement. You mean to say, God's nails were lifeless? I tell you vanaja, as a desperate person hungering for His love, any day I'd rather prefer my body to be torn by his 'lifeless' nails than be an average devotee lifelessly chanting His name for many lives.

I am not aspiring for death. I am aspiring for God. Whether Hiranyan loved God or not is immaterial. The fact that God touched him, killed him gave salvation to him, right? He was restored to his original glory of being the security guard at the gates of Vaikuntam.
Our Acharyas give this explanation. A man drinks poison without knowing that it is poison. Will the poison not act on him because he did not know? Will his ignorance become a defence against poison? No.
Applying this example on the positive side even though Hiranyan might not have known,loved or prayed to God, God's coming near him and killing him with his own hands would definitely have had its effect.

My prayer is not death. Nor my prayer is to do bad deeds like Hiranyan. My prayers are not for harming Devas, human beings and the lot. My prayers are that He should come to me. He should touch me. And if that would happen only by my death, I'll be even more happy. My life is a worthless piece of coin I can throw at his hundial in exchange for the most precious gift of being torn by his loving hands.

Wonderful words, Vanaja. I'll have this framed in my mind. Should a similar incident occur again (God forbid!) I would read these words and console myself.
But then I may not be able to write a poem too!
Thanks for the nice response, vanaja.
regards,


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Sriniketan,

Thanks.

Thanks again for reviving the Hiranyakashipu argument. I will be grateful if you can provide links to your thread so that I can read them and respond to your post. You have raised a pertinent question why did Jaya and Vijaya opted to be bad guys? I remember to have read somewhere that they were given a choice. God told them. "Be born as pious souls and reach here after a hundred births. Or be born as bad guys and reach here after 3 births."
Suppose we are given a choice like that what will we choose?

Our puranas are not Aesop fables. They are not moral stories. They are poetry and novels of the highest order. Unlike Aesops fables which are intended to teach the children good and bad, our mythology teaches us adults the secret of God's love indirectly.
So when I said in my poem that I want to be Hiranya, I did not want to side with the evil. I just wanted to experience His love standing that close to him.

You know what Sriniketan? We good, nice, respectable people just say our prayers mechanically and never think of God. But people like Hiranyakashipu constantly think of God.

I'll give you another example. I love Kambar. I have got the whole Ramayanam set. But I have not read more than a few verses. I know a person who belonged to DMK earlier. At that time DMK was involved in a compaign against Ramayanam. Some idiot wrote a book called Keemayanam. This man's duty was to condemn Kamba Ramayanam in every party meeting he spoke. So he had to perforce read the epic. And he read it much faster than I could. And once the meaning soaked into his being, he got absorbed into Kambar. He quit the party and is now an exponent of Kambar. Now when he recites the verse which ends with the words, Aayiram Raaman nin kel aavaro, tears roll down his eyes and his voice becomes choked.
But I, the good idiot, the nice guy, still cannot read more than a few verses. Anyday he is a million times better than me. What say you?
regards,

 

Dear Sudha,

thanks for the welcome message. Yes I have already prepared the curtain raiser for the new serial. I will start writing the episodes any time now. I want to make the story not as heavy as HE or SHE. But I am still wondering whether I am capable of writing light stories.

You may be right. May be SHE was preparing me for the new serial this way. Who knows?
Let's keep our fingers crossed.
regards,

 

Dear Vanaja,
I love this one more argument of yours on the issue. I have already argued enough. I'd just say these words.
I have read the mythological stories of many of the cultures of the world. The Indian ones are the best I know,because, the myth, the story, grows with you.
I heard the Prahalada story when I was probably four or five. At that time it was just a moral story. And quite an interesting one too. Lord coming out of a random pillar, half-lion, half-man...Fascinating for a five year old. I revisited the story when my daughter was four or five. My daughter loved the story so much that I have narrated it many times. I was in my thirties at that time and the story now had different dimensions.
When Jaya-Vijaya was offered a choice -being born as pious men for a hundred births or Asuras for 3 births - they chose the latter. I would say that was a brilliant choice. They were the real devotees of God. And the beauty of beauty is that the person who made that choice. A Rishi in some versions and the Lord himself in others. That person knew very well that being born as bad guys to die at the hands of Vishnu for 3 births was equal to being born as good guys and die our glorified natural, peaceful deaths a hundred times. I started to wonder. In fact I have written a whole short story based on this concept and is coming out as part of my book by this year end.

And then I heard the same story in Yoga Vaashishta. The story has another sequel there. Prahalada becomes afraid of the Lion God. He is afraid that the Lord might in his anger kill him too. And then he gets to know that the Lord is not other than him. Advaitha is taught to him.
The story still has got a lot of hidden meanings. Hiranyas boon and the way it is broken. All contain deep mystical lessons for us to ponder for lifetimes.

I should thank you for making me ponder a bit on those lines.
regards,

 

Oh my dear GF,

where have you been all these days? In fact I decided not to open a new thread till you replied to this. So now I can open it any time from now.
We thought of honeymooning in the Swiss Alps. But I heard it is very cold there these days. Instead we chose to honeymoon in Chokkikulam, Madurai which is warmer.

I am fine. In fact I knew that all my GFs will be anxious to know that. So I used the words I am fine right on the title itself.

To be able to breathe, to be able to earn ones' food and to have the appetite to eat it, to be able to hear and speak, to write and read, to move and stay, to sit and stand and lie down - everything is possible only by Her grace.

You are right about SHE being THE GF to all of us. But I won't be able to forget you all. SHE has manifest herself in so many forms, in so many GFs to send HER love to me, to teach me, to chastise me and to reform me, if that's possible.

You are welcome, GF. And thanks for your prayers and wishes.
love,
Your BF

 

Dear Malathi,
More than your missing me I did miss you all these days. You know that during the interim period of about 2, 3 weeks though I did not post anything new in IL I was constantly posting in the Azhwar Paasuram thread.
(The Perfect Ending Thread) We were and are still discussing the paasurams of Thiruppanazhwar. We have covered half of them.
Whenever you are free and inclined just go through them.
Hope you have been doing well at your end.
regards,
sridhar