I Was Hurt! I Am Fine!

Dear Aruna,
Actually I did not disappear. Sriniketan, Lalitha and later Kamla were (and still are) discussing the paasurams of Thirupaanazhwar in the Perfect Ending thread. We have covered up to 5 paasurams.
But, yes, I was way from the main hall of IL for a while. You know at times when we attend a wedding function, somebody might tell something, or do something that'd upset us. Not that we don't want to walk out. We take refuge in the small storeroom at the corner of the Mandapam and talk about something else with our friends. After a while when the wounds are healed you come back with renewed vigour to dance in the main hall.
I have had my share of hurts, my due share of stay in the storeroom and I have now come to dance with others.
Thanks a lot Aruna for the nice words you have about the poem.
regards,

 

Dear Mythili,
My friend, you have the liberty of even telling me on my face that what I did was wrong. How am I ever going to thank you about all those kind epithets you used to describe me! I am sure my wife did not read your post in detail. For if she had done, this would have become the thread of controversy, the eye of a storm. I am sure she might take objection to all the words, you used, matured,caring and loving. Honestly Mythili, I want to be like that someday. May be when I touch 70 I'd be like that. ha ha ha

You know in Madurai we call this nethi adi. Such a direct question. I was shaken for a while and did not know what to say. They say no person remains the same all the time. The speed with which I change is quite phenomenal. Yes when I was hurt I was in a different mood. And when I wrote the poem the pendulum had swung to the other extreme.

Before I was hurt I was like a warrior wielding a lethal weapon and fighting a war. I had all the arrogance of a warrior, a king. At that time you think you are God.
But then when you are hurt in the battle, and lose all interest in fighting, and when you are taken to the camp, and there when you are drugged to sleep and God appears in your dream. What will you do?What could I have done? Do you think I would have made a clarion call to my soldiers? Not at all. I was speechless, breathless shedding tears of remorse. And God was just seeing me. The poem was born in that moment.

But I should admit that you made a very pointed, pertinent question. I am young enough to be your son. But your question reminded me of my daughter who'd now and then seal my lips with her questions.
Thanks, Mythili.

Thanks and you too join HER.
love,

 

Dear Usha,
Your tag line about reputation and honour also contains a poignant message. Yes, I do remember Buddha's story.
But again as you said, I think every small experience, every joy, every hurt, insult or injury is a part of a major Universal Conspiracy to ensure our spiritual growth. Our tunnel vision is confined to the particular hurt or sorrow, where as the Universal vision which and which alone knows the overall picture. sees the hidden poem in it.
Thanks a lot, Usha.
There is a difference between fb in this thread and other threads of mine. In other threads a fb is to just compliment my writings; but here a fb is the virtual equivalent of applying an ointment on my wound. So thanks as a word does not come near expressing my feelings.
love,

 

Dear Veda Vyasan,

Shanthi and you have, with your kind words, have applied a soothing balm in the area of pain.

There is no question of age and experience here. If I commit a mistake my daughter will be the first to point out. Fortunately those errors happen more often in driving than in living. And you or Shanthi or any ILite who has read my post has the right to advise, criticise or praise or appreciate.

I will just tell you my journey in IL. When I joined the site in June 2005 there were less than a hundred members there. I was the first ILite to be given a forum here (of course the first one to win a prize too; but for me a place in your hearts is a more precious prize). What return gift could I make to the site and to Malathy? It was just a resolution.
I vowed that I would give whatever I have in terms of writing skills to IL. And secondly I made IL my clean arena. I belong to one of the world's most materialistic professions. I am known for my killer strategy and the way I demand my fees. Well, that's the world. Nai vesham potta kurachi thaane aahanum?
I took a vow I would be a totally different person in IL. I will never show even a trace of what I do in my profession.
But then I was a fool. I naively thought that when I am like that I would get the same treatment from all the ILites. Well I get from almost all of them. Exceptions hurt. But in hindsight I feel the whole thing happened because of my Aarva Kolaru and have sought pardon from God.

Thanks for the kind words, Veda Vyasan, once again. Never hesitate. If you think I am wrong just pull me up. You have the right to do that, if not for anything else, just for your name.

And thanks for the nice words you have about my poem.
love,

 

Dear Gayu,

One of the nicest feelings a person can have is knowing that he or she is missed by somebody. When you say that you looked for my stories, I had that feeling. thanks a lot. And thanks to your good wishes I have bounced back. And soon will come with one mega serial for you all.

You are the first to raise the point of difference. I appreciate your candour and more than that I am moved by the way you have very softly and decently worded the difference of opinion. It is so nice that for a moment I was tempted to respond, "Oh Gayu, you feel like that. Then let it me. I withdraw my statement."

Do you think that God loved Prahalada and hated Hiranyan? Can the Great God, who is nothing but love, the Karuna Moorthy hate any one? God is Love and Love is God. Is it possible even for a milligram of hatred to exist in Him? No. It cant be.
Let's suppose a mother has two boys. One is good, obedient, home-loving, studious and all. The other loafs around has all the vices and a constant eye-sore to the family. Whom do you think the mother will love more? She'd love them equally. And will demonstrate her love strongly towards the wayward son. The good son will understand his mother's love even without much demonstration. The bad one would realise that only when the mother hugs him and shows her love in easily understandable ways.
Gayu, I am not prescribing the path of Hiranya. It's a poem. The poet is desperate to see God. He knows for sure that he is not good enough as Prahlad to make the God appear for him. He longs to see God and God is not there. He looks around.Sees Hiranya. Evan assuming that we agree Hiranya is not more blessed than Prahlad, is he not blessed than the person who wrote the poem?
The poet who was praying to him never got to see Him. But Hiranya not only got to see him coming out of a pillar in his palace but also had the greatest blessing of being killed by the Lord Himself. Whatever may be his mind, intention and all, the moment he saw Narasinga, the dear azhakiya singar, all his sins would have been burnt to ashes. When the Lord touched him albeit to kill, he would have become the most blessed soul on earth. And when the Lord actually killed him, well it is a billion times better than staying in the Heavenly abode.
More of the arguments in responses to the other two ladies Sriniketan and Vanaja who have raised the same issue.
love,

 

Dear Kamla,
To be welcomed by people like you, to be greeted with such posts...- I would love to be hurt many times to bathe in such kind of love. Sadness might not make oneself sharp but definitely adds to one's depth. And you'll know about that addition only when you face happiness again.
After the hurt incident when I see positive encouraging responses from ILites, I am far more happier than what would I have been had the incident not happened at all.
Now only I remember the words of the Lebanese mystic, Gibran, who said, 'The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

Now that you have ordered me to cheer up and my wife endorsing the same has added teeth to that order, do I have an option?

You are right about the aptness of Shanvy's words. To sum up the past incident: Hurt, lesson learnt, love enjoyed, incident forgotten.
Thanks for being there for me.
love,