I want to slap Harbhajan ! - Andrew Symonds (Humour)

The IPL was doing too much too quick. So the BCCI bosses decided to do damage control and met to discuss counter measures

Here is a recording of the meeting:-

That Lalith Modi is acting too fast. Who does he think he is?

Just because he is making us so much money does he think we care?

We will show him that money is not important for us !

Suspending Harbhajan in just two days after the incident? What will ppl think? They will say we are inefficient

We have to do something to show we also act fast

Let us make some rules. That is what we are good at

How about making a rule, that everytime a player slaps someone the cheerleaders should cheer?

Yes, yes. They should clap in rhythm to the slapping. And the song 'Slap That' by Akon should be played simultaneously

What about the punishment for slapping?

The fine will be fixed for each slap. One crore for each slap. This money will be given to the slapee and taken from the slapper.

And if the slapper does not pay the slapee, the slapper will be put in the slammer !



Meanwhile he bookie mafia is now meeting to discuss the implications of the new rules



So Rameshbhai, the slapee will get a lot of money. This creates new opportunities for us.

Smoothbhai ! What do you say? How do we get players slapped? More players are slapped and more fines 'slapped' on the players, more money is slapped into our coffers ! We can get the slapees to pay us a comission. Should we auction our services to the highest bidder just like the IPL?

Nice idea, Rameshbhai. To execute our plan, we will have to analyse each players mental weaknesses just like the Australians analyse each batsmans weakness. And we have to exploit those weaknesses for our benefit. And the slapees benefit of course

So Smoothbhai,what do we have so far? Which player has what mental weakness?

Rameshbhai, Dhoni can be needled about Deepika. Yuvraj can be needled by teasing him about not being captain inspite of being a senior player. Gavaskar can be needled about umpire decisions going in Australians favor. Sachin can be needled abut his car giving low mileage. Dravid can be needled that 'the wall' has crumbled. Ponting can be called a 'duck' trainer. etc etc

For Harbhajan of course we will use Mallu jokes and for Sreesanth we will tell him that Harbhajan will be made coach

We have kidnapped a well known Doctor who has recommended this medicine, aggressionosine, that we mix in their food. This will make them very aggressive and gurantee a slapping session whenever provoked

Ok Smoothbhai. Excellent work ! Now we have our strategy in place. Have the players who need money desperately been contacted? We can make them an offer they cant refuse

Yes Rameshbhai. Mohammed Kaif is unable to secure a place in the team and wants to be slapped by Symonds

Ok then make all arrangements. Our comission is 35% isint it Smoothbhai? Are the cheerleaders ready? Has Symonds been administered the medicine? He doesint need any you say? Ok now send Kaif the doll. Where is the monkey doll?