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I want to slap Harbhajan ! - Andrew Symonds (Humour)

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by uncannybal, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. uncannybal

    uncannybal Senior IL'ite

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    The IPL was doing too much too quick. So the BCCI bosses decided to do damage control and met to discuss counter measures

    Here is a recording of the meeting:-

    That Lalith Modi is acting too fast. Who does he think he is?

    Just because he is making us so much money does he think we care?

    We will show him that money is not important for us !

    Suspending Harbhajan in just two days after the incident? What will ppl think? They will say we are inefficient

    We have to do something to show we also act fast

    Let us make some rules. That is what we are good at

    How about making a rule, that everytime a player slaps someone the cheerleaders should cheer?

    Yes, yes. They should clap in rhythm to the slapping. And the song 'Slap That' by Akon should be played simultaneously

    What about the punishment for slapping?

    The fine will be fixed for each slap. One crore for each slap. This money will be given to the slapee and taken from the slapper.

    And if the slapper does not pay the slapee, the slapper will be put in the slammer !



    Meanwhile he bookie mafia is now meeting to discuss the implications of the new rules



    So Rameshbhai, the slapee will get a lot of money. This creates new opportunities for us.

    Smoothbhai ! What do you say? How do we get players slapped? More players are slapped and more fines 'slapped' on the players, more money is slapped into our coffers ! We can get the slapees to pay us a comission. Should we auction our services to the highest bidder just like the IPL?

    Nice idea, Rameshbhai. To execute our plan, we will have to analyse each players mental weaknesses just like the Australians analyse each batsmans weakness. And we have to exploit those weaknesses for our benefit. And the slapees benefit of course

    So Smoothbhai,what do we have so far? Which player has what mental weakness?

    Rameshbhai, Dhoni can be needled about Deepika. Yuvraj can be needled by teasing him about not being captain inspite of being a senior player. Gavaskar can be needled about umpire decisions going in Australians favor. Sachin can be needled abut his car giving low mileage. Dravid can be needled that 'the wall' has crumbled. Ponting can be called a 'duck' trainer. etc etc

    For Harbhajan of course we will use Mallu jokes and for Sreesanth we will tell him that Harbhajan will be made coach

    We have kidnapped a well known Doctor who has recommended this medicine, aggressionosine, that we mix in their food. This will make them very aggressive and gurantee a slapping session whenever provoked

    Ok Smoothbhai. Excellent work ! Now we have our strategy in place. Have the players who need money desperately been contacted? We can make them an offer they cant refuse

    Yes Rameshbhai. Mohammed Kaif is unable to secure a place in the team and wants to be slapped by Symonds

    Ok then make all arrangements. Our comission is 35% isint it Smoothbhai? Are the cheerleaders ready? Has Symonds been administered the medicine? He doesint need any you say? Ok now send Kaif the doll. Where is the monkey doll?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2008
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  2. Ranjita Gireesh

    Ranjita Gireesh New IL'ite

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    Re: I Want To Slap Harbhajan By Santosh Samuel

    Hi Sunkan,

    Superb & Very Hilarious Piece :clap Big LaughBig LaughBig LaughBig Laugh..... ha ha ha..... good now cricketers can make money by slapping... Big LaughBig LaughBig Laugh

    Ranjita.
     
  3. Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

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    Re: I Want To Slap Harbhajan By Santosh Samuel

    Dear Sunkan,

    Finally you have found the way to get the world richer.

    Not just cricket we should move this strategy to other sectors as well. Any organisation, the employee should irritate the employer, drive him up the wall, ruin him, laze around the office and when the final slap arrives from the employer and lands on his face that would be his ticket to richness. Pronto! The slap Whack and youre rich...

    It was an excellent write up Sunkan. I was laughing all the while with hubby as I shared this write up of yours with him!

    Love,
    Devika
     
  4. PushpavalliSrinivasan

    PushpavalliSrinivasan IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: I Want To Slap Harbhajan By Santosh Samuel

    Dear Sundari,
    A hilarious one and I enjoyed it. Keep posting more like this.
    Love,
    PS
     
  5. slp807

    slp807 Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: I Want To Slap Harbhajan By Santosh Samuel

    Dear Sundari mam,

    i enjoyed reading your post, Thanks for sharing
     
  6. ANK

    ANK Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Sunkan,

    A real hillarious piece of writing!
    It was a sad day for Cricket, and I guess this slapping incident will go down in the history of cricket. Reminds me of the infamous Navjoth Singh Sidhu incident, where he badgered a man to death. The power of anger! It just changes lives for ever! Look at Harbahjan, he has lost so much materialistic, and even if he makes up for it later on, his image is tarnished, and this will remain in the hearts of his fans for ever. When the Aussies pointed fingers at him during their last tour of Down under, I was also one of those who strongly stood up for him, and now I am wondering - WHO WAS THE REAL CULPRIT??? We Indians carry our patriotism a bit too far at times, and are blinded with love for our cricketeers! In the same breath, I proudly look up to Sachin, Dravid, Kumble and Dhoni -WAY TO GO GUYS! Kids should be emulating great guys like u!:bowdown:bowdown:bowdown
     
  7. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: I Want To Slap Harbhajan By Santosh Samuel

    A hilarious one . Keep posting more like this.Thanks for sharing dear Sundari:)
     
  8. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    Re: I Want To Slap Harbhajan By Santosh Samuel

    dear AC,
    samuel is very much here thank him he is the uncannybal, somehow got mixed up here..sunkan
     
  9. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    That was really funny Sunkan.

    I came hear tracing Uncannybal....!So I guess it was written by him??

    If so, oh my, he does have a fine sense of humor!!

    L, Kamla
     
  10. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    yes kamla,
    i asked permission in the morning and by evening he has joined and posted it here, wish he had told, any way now that he is here, all credit to the great man with humour..sunkan
     

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