I want to give up completely on in-laws - my threshold is over

felonopsis · Jun 8, 2015

Ladies, sorry for a long post..Ranting out my disspointment and anger..

To give a shor brief about my past relationship with my in-laws

Got Married before 5 yrs. Sweet loving husband. Inlaws : MIL abusive, FIL- will speak logically 50% of the times but generally does not speak out when his wife is there. Powerhouse of the house is MIL.My father met with an accident before my marriage and is non-verbal. I have a feel that IL take advantage of this week factor of mine.

MIL has been abusive, insulted me and had NOT been helpful in many of the occasions when i needed her. But i use to forgive things if she comes back and speak to me.DH is loving and even questions his parents now & then. They will be gud for a while and go back to square 1 again.

I have given up on them and completely frustrated as i have set up my mind that they will not change.

Recent one:

My in-laws were not speaking to their daughter for the past 1 year. So they use to come to our home now and then(despite of my MIL unhappy with me for every single thing i do). They wanted ot show their daughter and the society that they are gud with us.

Now that they have started speaking to their daughter, i have once again become bad for them.

Last time when we were @ moms place, IL came. I welcomed them. NO RESPONSE from them. They were simply staring @ me. In our tradition, Welcoming & the other person saying i am fine , how are you is a very compulsory thing. I just gave up, dint speak to them at all. Everyone observed the cold war and some how after 2 hrs, just before MIL leaving, she told "bye" to me. I went down, dropped her and even had a gud chat with her. Things went on

Last week again she was coming to our home(to drop my kid who was @ their house) when they were travelling, i did enquire them where they were coming and told them that I have a gud news for them . I went to the parking area to receive them and welcomed them, again NO RESPONSE and only blank faces. No words from them.,

I was very upset. I was awaiting them to ask me wat the gud news was..nope. No word.

I am travelling onsite related to my work and if everything goes well, we will move for gud. I wanted to tell them this but wondering how can they hold themselves without asking for this and left my place.

I dont want to tell them but DH is lil worried about it..WHY SHOULD WE TELL SOME ONE A NEWS THAT THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED TO KNOW????

jaden · Jun 10, 2015

I would suggest ,do exactly what your inlaws are doing.IF they are staring at you,stare back.If they ignore you,you do the same.Tit for tat.Why are you so bothered about informing them about your onsite plan???Let them know at the last minute.IF they get mad then,just tell them you had told them there's good news,and this was what it was,but they never bothered to know more.

Its wonderful that your husband speaks up for you.Be really thankful to that.Many are married to momma's boys,who wouldnt speak up ever for their wifes,no mather how wrong his own parents are.

sunshine1970 · Jun 10, 2015

Have 0 expectations from in laws, sometimes they are nice sometimes mean, just if you expect nothing and get nothing great, if you get something, who cares too. IL won't care about your good news, in fact most are jealous if you have good news, I would just keep them at arms length and that is it.

ramyagiri · Jun 10, 2015

Never mind abt IL.. they have that attitude and ego which none can change. Better is to live your life the way you want and be happy.
i had faced similar issues with IL.. now after 18yrs took a stand for myself n stopped interacting with them. If this pleasing n living for them goes on, when will we live life for ourself? thanks to my DH..he realised and doesnt say anything. anyways let DH n his mom n siblings b however they want to.. just moved ahead now.. and now no stress!

people will keep saying what they want and they are there to say only instead of giving any solution... so listen to ur heart and be brave enough!! tk care!