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i want relief

Discussion in 'Health Issues' started by jasi, Jan 20, 2008.

  1. jasi

    jasi New IL'ite

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    hai
    sorry ,it is wrong or corrwect ,i dont know,but i feel it is wrong,pls guide me whetherit is wrong.
    now iam coming to my problem,first of all my problem is my hubby salary is lowest among others ,while comparing my close relatons,salary is not only problem qualification also, it is inferiority complex for me , iam so guilty among others i know it is wrong , , itry to change my complex but i cant, while iam asking others development,one thing i want to tell, iitself pray to god they want come in a good level , but i heard i cant control ,i know it is too worst character but i cant control that feelings 1 day after wards i will return asnormal character pls guide me how to solve this inferirity comflex
    by
    jasi
     
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  2. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Jasi,

    Sorry that I could not understand what exactly it is that you are trying to convey here.
    But I can understand that you are terribly confused and feeling low.
    Money is a Big Deal in the world today. People seem to respect you depending on how rich you are. BUT...Please remember that NOT ALL ARE LIKE THAT. Good and sensible people know that money is not everything in life...Good people with generous and kind nature are very very hard to find. That's what matters.
    So, remember that and make your private life happy and beautiful with small pleasures of life. Keep your husband and yourself happy. His small salary is not important. What you do with whatever he earns is important. Nurturing your life with your partner and family in an happy atmosphere is very important. Don't kill and waste the precious time you have been given. Once gone, this time will not return. Be thankful for every morning you wake up and for the sun, sky, birds and trees around you and be happy that you have your partner to share all this with.
    Remind this to yourself 5 times a day...morning, afternoon, evening and night and one more time: you and your husband count and your happiness count, there is so much misery around you, learn from it and think positive.
    Just pick up the daily newspaper. So many violent deaths, robberies, war and disease in the world.
    What are you feeling insecure about? Why are you feeling inferior to anyone ?? No need. Just come out of this mind set and make a celebration of the life given to you.
    Please do read the spiritual and religion columns on this site. Fill yourself with positive thoughts.
    Good Luck.

    L, Kamla
     
  3. BhargaviChakravarthy

    BhargaviChakravarthy Bronze IL'ite

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    Dera jasi,
    Though i am not able to get exactly what u say,still i undestand that whenever u find a person with a big salary than ur hubby,u immediately feel confused and u find extremely difficult coming back to normal.Whether this happens always?If no,then u can manage urself by diverting or changing ur mood by indulging ur mind to some other activity.If yes,then u must know the root cause of ur problem.why don't u go for some counselling sessions.That will help u to a greater level.If ur hubby's money and salary is only the problem then it can be solved.But i cannot come to a conclusion unless otherwise knowing what is the problem exactly..Go in for yoga,go through the religious/spiritrual forum and chant some slokams.I think i have thrown some light on the situation.

    Regards
    BC
     
  4. katrinak

    katrinak New IL'ite

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    These suggestions are absolutely true Jasi. There was a period when I was sharing the same mindset in which you are now. For me help came from the support of loyal friends who could not bear to see me suffering. Firstly materials cant give you an eternal happiness, so whether the salary of your hubby increases and you manage to build lot of assets does not ensure it will bring happiness too. Again if you think it can then do not just ponder over the issue rather make arrangements so that you can contribute too in the share of your hubby so that you can manage those things you have craved for. This way you will become involved in some form of work and gradually overcome your habit thats troubling you. Maybe afterwards you will realize what I said earlier but its a better alternative to do something rather than thinking and making yourself unhappy.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2008
  5. rya

    rya Silver IL'ite

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    hi jasi,
    i know u can do it...just make a habit of not comparing your family with others..some people will be good in some skills,some people will not be good..so,every person is different..if you take me,my husband is an architect..he doesn't have a proper future,no good salary,no recognition...whereas software professionals earn a lot..if i think like this in a comparitive way,i cannot even live for one day..so,i used to encourage my husband a lot,he will participate in so many conferences to come up..it is the wife who makes every husband think in a positive way..if u make it a habit,u will not go back from that..try it out..
    good luck
     
  6. svrlax

    svrlax Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Jasi,

    I appreciate that you have started to think about your shortcoming, I would say you are already half way through from the problem. Now its more important that you find a path to cross the rest of the distance by putting yourselves on the driver seat and come out of the problem.....Huh I think I am giving too much gyan. So let me make the rest of the post more interesting in the way I can to the best

    Start enjoying even the smallest boons you have got in your life. This will change your mind set to worry about the bane in life

    For your husband to have a steep improvement in life he needs lots of positive energy and remember you are the best source for him to be driven on the right direction and make him the most succesful personality. So speak a lot, but remember to fill only positive thoughts in your conversation.

    Do compare your blessings and not your pain areas with the world( Just to prove that I am a Dichotomy person with my thoughts, suggest you reading my post http://www.indusladies.com/forums/pujas-prayers-and-slokas/23399-the-way-i-pray.html )

    Live your life for yourselves and never for others, That would make your life horrible.

    Hear to your instincts, that is one of the most powerful tool which will guide you in right direction.

    Atleast when I rewind and think about my life. The caring people pity about my sufferings in life. I thank them but never allow it to enter my mind. I always count on my blessings. That is the driving force which pull me succesful out of the road blocks

    Still i believe the reply is much dry. So i think let me add a small story apt to this post(Hmm i belive this story is apt----Hey SVRLax "U have uhave become smart in using disclaimers ...." . I was just patting my back)



    "When you strike out along your path, you will find a door with a
    phrase written upon it," says the master. "Come back to me, and tell me
    what the phrase says." The disciple gives himself to the search, body and
    soul, and one day comes upon the door, and then returns to his master.
    "What was written there was 'THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE,' he says." "Was
    that written on a wall or on a door?" the master asks. "On a door,"
    the disciple answers. "Well, then, put your hand on the doorknob and
    open it." The disciple obeyed. Since the phrase was painted with the
    door, it gave way just as the door itself did. With the door completely
    open, he could no longer see the phrase -- and he went on.


    So cheer up .....:)
     
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2008
  7. lahy15

    lahy15 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Jassi,

    Don't worry by comparing others with you and your hubby ... Life comes only once and live it in a way that trouble doesn't take advantage ... If you keep thinking about your husband having less salary and nothing you can enjoy in life, it will bother your future life... instead think about what to do for future life.

    As a wife, you shld be supportive for him instead of bringing him down.

    Keep yourself satisfied in everything you get. Always, Thank GOD for everything you have at present and for things HE is going to give you in future too ... Worry should never dominate you ... This complex will lead your mind and health into bad condition.. I know advice is easy but when u take it You will Succeed in LIFE ...

    All our IL Friend's Advice here is really GREAT ... Take all our advice and think first what to proceed in life for future instead of thinking about unwanted things.

    Breathing exercise & Meditation makes you to clear your mind. Try it and You will Win in life ...

    All the best my dear Jassi... Take care of yourself and your family

    With Prayers,
    Suni :)
     
  8. subashinib

    subashinib Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Jasi,

    In my opinion, "No one is Inferior to Anyone in Life".... Life is the greatest gift of GOD and we should happy abut "wat we are now".

    There are things which money cant buy in our life , like love,peace,joyness & so on.
    Show your love to your husband & dedicate yourself and just think about the good things which you have in your life.

    And ,one suggestion to you , may be you ask your husband to add his qualifications by studying something which helps him in his growth.

    These are my personal opinions and if anything is wrong , pls excuse me.

    Warm Rgds,
    suba
     
  9. subashinib

    subashinib Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Kamla,
    Im so much impressed by your reply :bowdown:bowdown:bowdown
    Hats off to you.

    Warm rgds ,
    suba



     

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