I think my husband is not who I thought he was....

ASG,

Soon is relative. It is only what you feel about it. It chokes you, and you find it heating your insides. Even if she does not reply him further, or even if he does not try flirting with her- you should ask it out to him, right?

Arch

 

ASG , Please wait.Now that they are mutual friends just wait to see how it goes on for next one or 2 days with him.And do not give him any signals.Just act normal and these two days will give you time to compose yourself and gather proof too.Meanwhile you will get good directions from other ILs too.This is my sincere suggestion.

 

This is typically what I wanted to say too. Calm yourself now, and then gather the strength to do whatever is best.

Arch

 

Suitable Girl, Let me tell you affront that i totally empathize with your situation and i am completely devasted to know something like this can happen to such a wonderful, bubbly, positive, caring, lucky (or so i thought) person like you...My message was not to hurt you in any which way.........What i was trying to convey was 2 important points...................1. I find the most educated ladies out here becoming so naive and blindly trust their spouses based on what THEY see and completely ignore the LARGER issue when the deceptive tactics of their respective spouse OR the Dear Dear DH's was so obivious in their posts....I can quote many posts in this forum which are classic examples of such a syndrome...But I am sure i will be greeted with Brickbats for being Rude, Negative, Devil's advocate etc etc...I have refrained from doing that exactly for this reason....when i tried doing it on one occasion, the moderator promptly erased my posts!!!!:bowdown..What i have come to realize is that people in trouble are just looking for sugar coated answers and no one is willing to accept facts which can be a bitter pill to swalow at times. They are not even willing to confront the problem and solve it because their blind trust and after all he is my Dear Dear DH can never be wrong attitute. Maybe they are scared that they will end up making the situation worse....................2. The only commodity available in this world free of cost is ..."ADVISE" I am sure you will agree it's easy to give suggestions / advise which may be practical or in most cases impractical when someoneelse backside is on fire.....It may not be possible to implement the same whne it comes to us........I hope i have calrified what i am trying to say......I again pray and hope that you find the right solution for your current situation...You are cappable of doing so....My best wishes to you...

 

ASG,

I just want to drop in.I don't have any advise for you apart from all other good advises.
Just be strong and don't fall for some threats.How could some one threat other person,if so then I would say there is no love.If people really love other person,then they don't even dream to hurt the other person.
Myself I never know what is the meaning of true love.You are married at young age,that time you might think or feel it's a love.You might deeply think it's love but opposite person might not have same feeling.If your husband had same feeling then I am 100% they would try to protect you or try to take care of you all the time.But they never try to hurt you with divorce.
Please stay calm and handle with more diplomatic and I am sure you can handle your life very well and you can be happy too in your life very well.

 

ASG, your post took me to a complete surprise, the reason, I always thought you married your DH , who has so much age difference, and second marriag of him and I always saw you talk nice about him and that how your relationship is going nice. It took me to utter surprise to read what you wrote, really, what is the world upto? why are we all seeing failed relationship or almost failures.

I infact thought you are writing someone else story, well I am at loss of words for now in my first post to your thread...

So what do you plan to do? even if you wait to see , it might not help you as you will sulk more into distress seeing what is happening, if you confront that too would be of no use... as the person will become more careful...

 

she doesnt even look like a girl, she looks like a transvestite. :rotfl

 

ASG,

Install key loggers and gather as much information you can before you confront your husband or even hint about this issue. If you get to know that this is an isolated incident then wait for a while and if your husband is even half of what you describe him to be, I don't think you have to wait for more than a couple of days.

In case you find any "inappropriate" or "secret" accounts or chats then save each and every one of them. From what you have been sharing in the previous posts I can see that confronting your husband is not going to be helpful at all. So if you do find more incriminating evidence, walk away , immediately.I don't mean divorce but physical distance, take some time to heal and think. Nothing or no one is more important than your happiness.

What prompted him to say that he wants to divorce you?