I Lost!

varalotti · Dec 19, 2007

Dear Malathi,

I am moved by your concerned post. I have already taken a note of your signature and this time I did it again.

I do agree that it hurts when you hear that you have lost a competition. I have never let that to interfere with my value of myself.

Of course I am not foolish to enough to consider that I am a superior writer because I write for the general public. And neither am I so dejected to consider that my work is inferior because I don't write for the intellectuals, or I indulge in stream of consciousness writings. I now realise that my writings belong to a particular class, which was not considered for the competition.

But now I hear from them that they may shortlist some of the entries for publication in DH or might bring out an anthology of good stories. My friend in Bangalore assures me that in either case my story will be there among the shortlisted. But even it is not there, well, I am not going to worry.

But, Malathi, these philosophies apart, these rationalisations apart, you still feel the pain of defeat, albeit for a short time, when you come to know about a loss like this. I for one, am sure that this will further deepen my writing skills. But more important than that I am sure this will expand my understanding as a human being.

A great bonanza I got on this issue was the many loving posts I received from our gracious ILites. Those acts of kindness has made me indebted to ILites for ever.

It was interesting to know about how you judged and how you were judged.

regards,

Varloo · Dec 19, 2007

Dear Sridhar,
just saw this news. As you have said, times are changing and the way of expression is different now. Your stories are different and just because you did not win, it does not mean that you are in any manner inferior. Your story was different and the judges did not like it, may be.
I read the book GOD OF SMALL THINGS, rather started to read. But I could not read behond a few pages. I found the story very boring, slow and a little repulsive. I do not want to explain in the open forum, I cannot.
I watched the movie 'ELIPATHAYAM' (meaning mouse trap) by the famous Malayalam director Adoor Gopalakrishnan. It was so dull, so slow and one last one's patience. And I did not understand the end, why it was like that.The friend who was with me cried that she had wasted by money and time by watching this movie. But he is famoous on an international level. If the common man could not understand, how can he make his work appreciated?

purnima_2k · Dec 19, 2007

Hi V,

It requires a brave act to publicise a situation which made us feel low. And by doing so, you have gone up in the eyes of all ILites.Its sad that you couldnt win this competition, but somehow cannot help agreeing with Vidyas point of view. Her explanation was amazing and bitter truth does enlighten all of us!

One failure can motivate you doubly to win next time! We are all with you!

Regards,
Purni
(ps- i have been very busy attending to my inlaws &fly last few weeks, so couldnt give feedback to your "HE". will do so soon!)

varalotti · Dec 23, 2007

Dear Varloo,
Thanks for your kind words, which had a soothing effect on my nerves. I am in the same boat with you. I bought God of Small Things several years ago.

But I could not bring myself to read even a few lines.
I also thought that it was ********, till my daughter had to study that book as a part of her literature course. When she discussed some intricate points in connection with the book, I started admiring Ms. Roy. But still could not bring myself to read that book.

Now I have the courage to admit Ms. Roy's superiority. And now I have the wisdom where I fit in the large, cosmic order of things - somewhere near the bottom.

But to appreciate Ms. Roy and Elipathayam, I think, we both have to acquire the taste.

The good news I have received from DH is that they might publish some of the good stories among those that are rejected. Let me see if my story gets a chance there.

Thanks once again, Varloo.

regards,

varalotti · Dec 23, 2007

Hi Purnima,

It was not a brave act; but a sheer balancing act on my part to publish my failure. I am far from perfect or even good. SHE and HE are my best foot forward. This entry belongs to the other extreme, or that's what the judges thought.

I had a very open talk with my daughter yesterday. I also told her about all the views expressed in this thread, especially that of Vidya.

My daughter takes very surprising decisions. She now wants me to try "Stream Of Consciousness" writing without disturbing my existing writing schedule.

I am trying to do something about it.

Thanks a lot for your kind words.
regards,

Waiting for your fb on HE. I have posted HE 7.

kasisheela · Dec 28, 2007

Dear Sridhar Sir,
Happen to see this thread jus now.I can very well understand your feeling.I had the same feeling when i lost in a competition in my PG.It was not a very high end competition but we had prepared for it a whole night and worked on it a lot.
But,am confident that u will change this into a stepping stone for success.I have this confidence because,i learnt a lot from your posts and stories.

Sir,yesterday i had a dream that u had posted HE 8.Even after waking up i did not realise that it was a dream and i went to the serial section to confirm it.At that time only i saw this thread.

All i can say u is,WE ALL ARE THERE FOR U.

varalotti · Dec 29, 2007

Dear Kasisheela,

At least in your case I can say that your dream has come true. Yes, I have actually posted HE 8. In fact I wanted to post it yesterday night itself. I had opened the new thread too. But then I thought against disturbing the stated periodicity and posted it this morning.

All i can say u is,WE ALL ARE THERE FOR U
Click to expand...

Thanks, Kasisheela, for your kind words. Your support and that of all the ILites mean a lot to me. After posting this thread I realised that I now am a part of a large, affectionate and loving family. I am ready to lose in a thousand contests for the love I get from this family.

Three years ago my associate and I made an elaborate presentation for a large company, involving some two to three days of intense preparation and a few hours of continuous talking. Only later we learnt that we were throwing pearls before a swine.

What my associate then said still rings in my ears, "Sridhar, don't lose heart. We have worked sincerely. And no sincere work will go waste. This work will give us the results somewhere sometime."

Thanks once again, Kasisheela.
regards,

Devika Menon · Apr 3, 2008

Dear Varalotti Sir,

Sorry for the reply to something from the closet but I had just set my eyes on this particular post of yours and just couldnt go ahead without replying , I mean I cannot be a so called silent observer to this.
Foremost I highly appreciate the honest wirting. When you say that your losing affected you,I can absolutely understand. Yes there are many who say that I have participated and done my duty ,Winning or losing doesnt matter..That according to me is pure hogwash. Nobody does anything without wishing to reap benefits. When you rear your kid you have dreams about being with them throught out your life. When you sow a seed , you wish to see a sapling soon, When you write something you wish people would read it.
There is a saying : Do your duties without expecting returns.But how possible is it! Now we can be a little pragmatic here. No I guess for everything you do you expect some returns,everyone does,Yes the intensity varies from person to person. To the external world you show it doesnt matter whereas deep inside you are bleeding , yes you had expectations and when you dont live up to it ,you cant end it with'its okay' .No its not.
When you mentioned that it did affect you , thats the truth and the whole truth of almost everything in life. For some winning is success, for some recognition is success for some appreciation is success for some acknowledgement is success. But some kind of a reaction is expected when there is an input.
Yours egs,about the hotels and the paintings are very true.
When you write something I guess its more important to be able to relate to the masses than to the classes. The classes are a handful but the masses are the real readers , the readers whose reaction is very important , when actually you are able to send across the message strong, loud and clear. I often wonder at the couture displayed during the Lifestyle shows. Not a single garment is wearable ,I wonder why the designer is wasting his time and energy desperately designing something that is totally unwearable.
Yes these writing tips from these sites are very helpful but then again I feel that its very important to appeal to the masses and that Sir you are doing very well , so if its any solace to you I wish to tell you that in true spirit of writing you are TRULY A WINNER !

Regards,
Devika

varalotti · Apr 5, 2008

Dear Devika,

For a writer, the wound caused by a rejection is always fresh. It is never too late to apply a soothing medicine over that wound. Your wonderful words have precisely done that.

I have had many rejections as a writer. And to tell you honestly it hurts every time. You never get so thick so that the next rejection does not affect you.

Over the years I have grown wiser. Now if it is a long story I normally talk to my publisher or editor and get his informal approval before sending the work.

Thanks once again Devika, for applying the cool antiseptic cream, soframycin, over my rejection-wound.

You see one very good thing about IL is whatever I write here is not rejected. Of course when the quality is not good, it shows in the number of views and replies. But whatever I write there are atleast a few people to say it is good. That's very soothing to me.

Thanks again. Your reply was not late and given the nature of it, could not be so.
regards,