Hi ladies.. I have been a silent reader here. Many times I get convinced reading our posts and your answers to them. Today I have a worry eating me. A few days back my husband and I had a fight. He is still grieving as he lost his father 3 months ago. During the fight he blindly said - If you keep fighting I will also go where my dad went. And this has disturbed me a LOT. His words keep repeating in my head. And I am always scared that God forbid - what if something bad happens. Have you ever been involved in such fights. Its driving me insane. Regards
Please don't take take these words said in anger seriously. My dad has been repeating these warnings for so many years and he's fine. Please talk to your husband and tell him sternly not to repeat these words again as it hurts you emotionally. He may say you instigated it, don't quarrel over it. Just leave it here and move on.
Giving you a point of view from the other side I have many a times said this phrase. It came out of a deep sense of hurt. It came out of an ultimate frustration that the person opposite was utterly insensitive . Your husband must be sensitive and this particularly tough . Share with him how much his words hurt you .
It takes some time for them to come over it. My husband's mom passed away more than a year back..he still grieves as he is attached to his mom so much.. Give him time and space. Try not to fight on petty things
He is still grieving and very sensitive. Give him his space. And please, have enormous patience when talking to him. He needs your support the most. Those words just show how much he is hurt by you, because for him, that is the very worst thing in life right now. Unfortunately, he may not be in a position to mitigate your hurt right now. You will have to handle it yourself.
Words that are said in a fit of rage shouldn't be taken in the actual sense.. Your husband is still grieving on his father's death and during this time when there is a fight then some unwanted words do come out since your husband may not be in the mood of talking anything.. I think whenever you speak to him, you try to talk some soothing words so that he will start thinking that being in your company gives him peace of mind.. Of course it does take sometime to come back to our normal self if our near and dear ones pass away.. It all depends on how much close you were with them.. Never get into an argument during this time.. Try to be patient.. Don't take anything serious during this time.. He is just venting out his grief.. Just let him know politely that you really got very much disturbed by what he had said and that you were upset... Make him know that you love him dearly and whenever he is under grief, it affects you also..