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I have lost my sleep...

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Vini K, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. Vini K

    Vini K Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello,ILites,

    I have a 3.5 yr old who recently started nursery school.My problem is that ever since I concieved,I have lost all sleep.I used to be a very sound sleeper before, my sisters used to tease me as Kumbhakarna..When I concieved,my health was excellent and my pregnancy as well as delivery was ,by gods grace, a breeze.The problems began after my daughter was born.Elders say that by the time a child is 3 months old,he/she should sleep all through the night,waking up once or twice for feedings.But my daughter used to wake up every hour until she was 1.5 yrs old.We tried formula milk,even normal milk but she refused to take to the bottle.she has always been a picky eater since she started on solids.consequently she never sleeps soundly(or so I think)I had problems weaning her from breast milk too, and she finally stopped at 2yrs and 3 months of age.

    I have been very very tired and fatigued all these 3.5 yrs.I have had very little in the way of familial support when it came to looking after my daughter.She has always been very very attached to me.I want to ask you all,how did you cope ?She still does not sleep soundly and wakes up at the slightest sound even during the day time naps.Please help me with tips on how to make her sleep soundly?I have run out of ideas to make her sleep soundly now.she always wants me beside her, and even then if I move even a little she immediately puts her hand on mouth(habit right from when she was a baby) or puts her leg on my stomach to see if I am still there.If she is in deep sleep which is occasionally,then ok but otherwise she cries and wakes up,doesn't go back to sleep again.Consequently I never have continuous sleep for more than 2 hrs at a time and even that is not really sound sleep.

    What should I do?How do I train her to sleep alone?maybe with a toy or teddy..I bought many soft toys etc for this purpose but have been unsuccessful in making her sleep alone.what is the right age to start?

    We are also thinking of another child now, but I wonder whether I will become a walking ghost once I have a second child,considering that my daughter is so attached to me.. an with all this sleeplessness plus the accompanying migraines and sinus problems...please write in what you think?sorry for the long post but I really need help here.
     
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  2. Sumathy

    Sumathy Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Vini,

    As a mother who just weaned my 1 yr old, I completely empathise with you! The one suggestion I have is this - try to make her sleep with your husband one day even if she cries for some time. This is what helped me - we were thinking that she would keep crying but the crying stops within minutes when they realise that the mother is not going to turn up. To do this, it is better you sleep in a different room and do not come in even if you hear the baby crying. If things really get out of control, your husband can call you in. If you stick to this for 2 days, then they stop looking for you.

    Another thing you can try out is to stop her day time napping - she would then get tired and sleep through the night. To do this, you can somehow try to keep her occupied during the day time.

    All the best - just hang on, and you will pull through. A practical suggestion is to take a maid atleast for a few hours during the day during which you can catch a nap. Sleep is very important for us. Take care,

    Cheers,

    Sumathy
     
  3. Vini K

    Vini K Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Sumathy,

    Thanks a lot for your suggestions.I have been trying out what you suggested for a week now-that is,making her sleep with her dad while I sleep alone.My husband also says that she sleeps soundly when she is with him.I think I will just continue this and see how things turn out.
     
    sindmani likes this.
  4. priyauc

    priyauc Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Vini,
    I too havent slept properly ever since my third trimester. My baby too wakes up if i get out of bed. i wish i could get one nightsproper sleep.Also another problem that i now am observing is that he is becoming too clingy to me. Is it bad. If i leave him and go to the kitchen he cries and follows me there. He wont stay without me for a minute.dont blame him as he seesjust the two of us, and sees me only throughout the day. I wonder once i get back to work how we will manage??i really how ladies amnaged with a bunch of kids in earlier times:bang :confused:
     
  5. Vini K

    Vini K Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Priya,

    How old is your baby now?I am sure if you put him in daycare etc he will adjust after the initial hiccups.As for the clinginess,I guess it will be there until he starts school,where he will get a chance to interact with other kids of his age group.My daughter was very clingy until she was 3.after that I put her in a daycare cum nursery just to get her off this ckinging habit.It worked though for the initial 3 weeks,she literally did not allow me to continue with any of her normal activities like brishung her teeth,dresing up etc for fear that I will take her to the nursery.After that she was fine.But she still follows me around even now,at home.If for example,I have gone from the kitchen into the bedroom to tidy up etc,then she follows me there with her toy or book.If I am going down to throw the trash,she will wait for me in the corridor.In short,she does not want me to go out of her sight except when she is in school or nursery.I donot know whether to classify this as clinginess or to assign this behaviour to the fat that she,like most kids,likes to be around people.I remember that my elder sister's first daughter was like that too but outgrew it when she started school.I am just waiting for the day the school authorities will inform me that they are assigning my daughter to full day school.Until then it is a juggling act.As to whether this is good,I don't think this cinginess is good at all but if the child is too young,seeing you makes him feel secure which is why he will follow you everywhere.You are right,in this age of nuclear families,kids become more and more dependent upon parents for emotional security.Personally,I am starting to get angry with my daughter for being so clingy because most of the times she is either in front of me,or behind me when I am going from one room to another,and sometimes I step on her toes or something like that.I explain to her,I chide her,I have tried every approach but she still follows me around.I am thinking that maybe the presence of a sibling will provide her a kind of emotional fulfilment and attention but I am still not sure
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2007

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