I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do so.

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

Is this love marriage or arranged marriage? how about her relationship with your co-sis?

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

that's too early to decide!

that's a son's duty!

that's not your problem it's her son's !

Is this love marriage? have you ever tried to get along with her?

you would've been aware of these factors well before your marriage?!? then how come you feel trapped?

I'd blame your DH rather your MIL for these issues........

you need her son and flat but you don't want to take care of the old widowed woman , I don't get any clue about her nasty behavior from your post, but your intention is not genuine , sorry to say this and sorry if you are hurt.

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

I think it is too early to do this. You should give it at least a year. I am pretty sure before marriage you were told about living arrangements so why do you feel trapped now. My husband offered before we got married (arranged) to live on our own in his rental house and I said no because I wanted to be a goody DIL. We moved out about two years after we got married because I had to give it time. Also my husband had offered alternative and I did not take it. I think you need to invest some more time into relationship and living conditions. Remember if you had arranged marriage your husband hardly knows you, and he has more loyalties at this point to his mother than you.

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

it's been only 2 months. you are giving up too soon. take one step at a time. be diplomatic and stop telling your husband your complaints. have patience, things will change. If you move out this soon, relationships will not improve as you expect. chances are they will spoil because you will branded as house breaker :roll: thats probably why your h s also asking for some time. I think you should go with him. he knows his family set up better than you do.

your problems are little annoyances and can be dealt with if you keep it in perspective.

example: about the jewellery and stuff, I agree it is hot and icky and damn uncomfortable. but can you put it in front of her and remove it once you are out? and when you come back, put them back on.

About food, get to know her, know about her likes and dislikes.. ask H what is it she prepares well and ask her to prepare it for you and do not forget to appreciate.

Go out with H and spend some time. yourDh can talk to your MIll about having some time alone together.

sweetheart, yes you are newly wed, you are young and the time is right to do the things you want to.. but you have nothing to worry, you are going to be young a long time, there will be enough time for you to enjoy... you are losing you patience too soon... relax and see what happens. adjusting is difficult, but not impossible and if you have to vent, we are always here for you. Goodluck girl.

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

Pamira,

I agree with other ILs......your expectations are not reasonable and I do feel your husband is doing the right thing by taking care of his sick mom. You do not want to separate him from his family in just 2 months. Why dont you find a job and keep yourself busy?

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

Whose flat is that?

Whoa! You are fed up in two months? What does your mil do to you? How exactly does she irritate you? Does she abuse you or say hurtful things ? If she likes her elder son more it's her wish.

Does she stop you from cooking what you like? What "newly wed wishes" does she not allow you to fulfil?

If you can answer these questions in detail, ppl on this forum can help you with better advice

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

You better get the flat on your name first, then throw out your DH and MIL so that you can live happily.

what a crook you are.

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

Assuming the flat to be a joint property, why not ask your bil n cosis move over there? That way, you will be in everbody's good books and you can cook whatever you want to eat, you will have privacy to some extent(as it'll be only your not so healthy mil),you can go out shopping for essentials, giving you some time out, etc..:-D
Seriously, There are worse situations, atleast you are asked you to 'eat' whatever is cooked, there are people who have to cook, clean n then eat whatever is left.I think since you are newly married, there will be expectatioons on appearances, so, they expect you to wear jewellery etc...wear some cotton salwars, comfortable n easily manageable ones.
Relax, you are probably missing home, those carefree days... Once you bond with your husband, you'll blend in... Afterall, your mil is sick, she is old n your husband'll love you all the more he sees you caring for his mother..old fashioned advice, but always a winner!!!
All the best!!!!

 

Re: I hate my MIL and want my husband to live separately.how do i convince him to do

If it is your mils flat then things will go according to her wishes. If you want to live separately take another flat on rent and move out. But you need to give things some time. Your husband is right.