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I Blasted. Can't Stay With Them Under Same Roof Any More...what Next?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Reesha, May 24, 2020.

  1. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    after 10 yr of adjustment with inlaws under same roof, i am taking a chance with husband now. Actually matter is by applying pressure on my Dh, like distance factor to office, and for better schooling, i succeed to take a rent home in middle of city. but due to lock down, i and my 1.5 yr old along with live in maid stayed in rent house. my DH & 6 yr old stayed in our own house. now lock down is going to vanish. so my husband thinking of shift entire furniture along with in-laws. but i dont want to stay with them actually. i need freedom. i have lot of factors to avoid them.

    what i offered is , since it is just 30 minutes distance in between homes, requested him to stay there along with this parents and come weekly once/twice to my place. this home is in middle of his office route only. so he can manage very easily.

    My inlaws are not bed ridden but aged, 65 - 70. they are able to do their own chores. even i am ready to put 2 maids for them. they are 8 generations away from me. i am loosing my freedom to live my life as per my wish due to their presence. they are religious and conservative mindset. but i am not. they are indirectly affecting my daily life in all ways as a wife, as a mother and as home maker. they are putting their thoughts into every aspect of my home decision specially cooking part. i need simple light weighted life. but they are adding more work to me by pressing traditional things. i tried ignoring & opposing and allowing so on...for last 10 yr. but i don't want to put my mental energy to battle with them always.

    My husband is Big "Sravana kumara" , no doubt in that case. at any case he will support his parents only. Now i am able to take remote jobs with my talent. so don't want to depend on them for any kids purpose. Even they didn't take care much as expected like monitoring, i handled with care taker in past. i lost belief on their monitoring because negligence happened in my first kid case. nothing support came from them as i expected in case of kids education. so i want to take care my kids into my hand totally by managing remote working jobs and maids. I don't want give chance to them lead my life any more.

    So yesterday i told my opinion clearly and explained problems to Dh in my rent house when he starts discussion about shifting. He exploded like hell, but still with calm voice i explained my problems and opinion .he left house with angry to my old house. later no communication happened....


    i am crossing my fingers what decision he may take...
     
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  2. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    Hopefully things will be better and he will calm down. Don’t take stress. It’s better to express than going in depression or go insane. Take care.
     
    ImHuman and Reesha like this.
  3. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    I can totally understand your situation. Had been almost similar to the same situation as you.

    Don't wry abt him. Once he calms down he will be back to normal.

    But your idea of living separate with kids n asking husband to come over weekends is not good for a healthy marriGe in the long run.

    Try to convince your husband the opposite. That is, stay with you only as a family with kids and you. And visit his parents entire weekend.
     
    drdiva, ImHuman and KashmirFlower like this.
  4. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks for understanding. since he is Sravana kumara it will take time to set max time at my house. kids will drag him automatically. even i am not comfortable much staying with him because he is traditional natured who thinks that i need to serve food, he need to enjoy luxury. so i dont want to be servant to him for long run.
     

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