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I am under mental depression, not happy. Please help me dear ones

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015.

  1. Sep 10, 2015 #1
    RASHMIKN

    RASHMIKN New IL'ite

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    Hi Dears, I am newly joined to this group. I saw some post and suggestions given by you to over come depression.
    I recently completed 2 years of marriage life. Initially i was happy for 6 months later got to know in-laws and husband cruel nature.
    He forcefully married to me because i was very thin. In our home ppl mentality is like they are only true, they only knew everything and i need to follow what they say.
    In my periods, as per custom i should not enter kitchen and i should not touch anyone and anything. I never followed these before marriage. Even while getting married i discussed i did not follow these before, if anything like that in your home then i am not interested. That time my H said nothing like that.

    Now for everything they criticize me, talk weirdly with me. When i ask i want to go out, my H takes me out, we both eat and come. He always listen to his mother and all his 3 elder sisters, no love and care for wife. If i tell anything which it really get hurt to do, they always tells we have given all rights to you to go to work and H will take me out for round what else you want ? But there is no actual right for me to do what i like.

    I don't have freedom to do anything, if i tell i will go out alone for walk and come they appose not to go anywhere. Not even allow me to go to my sis place.

    I am mentally depressed, i need peace because of this, i am not conceiving. When i showed to doctor, she said i am fine with all aspects, but have some problem in him, and he is not accepting and in turn talk rudely with me u stay calm don't take tensions. But they are the ones giving tensions everyday. I don't know how to reply for them, i can't speak rashly with them. I am alone and don't have any ones support. They all 3 comeback at once and that time i will go helpless.

    They are not satisfied with whatever i do, Even i help and cook and help in all other household works and also managing to go to office and come. Even i share my salary to my H for house loan, also gives money to MIL to buy something. Still they are not satisfied.

    I can't leave work because this is only one source for me to make me happy. Please give some suggestions to overcome from this problem. I love my H much, but he doesn't understand, he wants his parents to be happy why not me. He will not accept to go separate as he is only son for them. Please help me.
     
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    #1
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  2. Sep 10, 2015 #2
    jmsd

    jmsd Silver IL'ite

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    OP

    I do not know what else to say to you,give up being a weakling, stand up for urself and claim your life.
     
    jmsd, Sep 10, 2015
    jmsd, Sep 10, 2015
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  3. Sep 10, 2015 #3
    deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

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    OP,

    Do what you like.... Dont mind even if others comment.

    H will come to your side slowly.... it might take sometime...

    Ignore them completely when they comment you.... keep quiet... After a period of time, they will stop it... they will know there is no use in telling.... do things what you feel right at heart.....

    Talk to your husband more and more, spend time with him... DOnt talk about in laws or SIL's with him, even if they do a mistake.... Life will be peaceful... slowly, he will come to know what are you going through....
     
    deeprapriya, Sep 10, 2015
    deeprapriya, Sep 10, 2015
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  4. Sep 10, 2015 #4
    VaniVyas

    VaniVyas Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,

    Unless you stand up for yourself, nothing around you is going to change.
    Tell your DH that you want happiness from life that s it. Moving out with your DH separately is an option but for that you have to convince him strongly. Based on his nature choose either ways.
     
    VaniVyas, Sep 10, 2015
    VaniVyas, Sep 10, 2015
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    2 people like this.
  5. Sep 10, 2015 #5
    RASHMIKN

    RASHMIKN New IL'ite

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    Dear Deeprapriya, till now i never commented anything about their family members, but he listens to them and keep everything in his mind and starts criticizing. Still i try to spend lot time with him, hope for best.
     
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    #5
  6. Sep 10, 2015 #6
    RASHMIKN

    RASHMIKN New IL'ite

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    Dear VaniVyas, I wish i could, but person like these mean mentality cannot change. Always they think at their level. My H is also same. He want his parents happiness and his happiness not mine.
     
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
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  7. Sep 10, 2015 #7
    kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear RASHMIKN, I can understand your pain, but try to concentrate on your job and career....all these problems are common, but it is always good to have a job especially when you are not happy with your personal life....atleast job will help you to keep you confident and happy....

    If they are not allowing to the kitchen during those days, take it positively and enjoy your 3 or 4 days rest period, treat it as your holiday period and enjoy.....:))

    You can also try Yoga to keep yourself calm and healthy....
     
    kcb, Sep 10, 2015
    kcb, Sep 10, 2015
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    2 people like this.
  8. Sep 10, 2015 #8
    RASHMIKN

    RASHMIKN New IL'ite

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    Dear @kcb, i am feeling you are right. Let me be myself and concentrate on my works. I will try to be happy and find happiness in my work and hobbies i have. Will speak how much necessary. I will join some yoga classes and meditation classes. If i am true god definitely show me the right path. instances will definitely changes, i will also get my turn. Thanks for the giving positive hopes :)
     
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    RASHMIKN, Sep 10, 2015
    #8
    2 people like this.
  9. Sep 10, 2015 #9
    Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    op is it possible to go to gym and became more healthy.May be you improving your own appearance might fix yours and h relationship.
     
    Iamagoodgirl, Sep 10, 2015
    Iamagoodgirl, Sep 10, 2015
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