I am not here for cloning

[JUSTIFY]As we all know, success is a relative term and it is difficult to benchmark the success unless we have set our goals from time to time to compare with. Let us assume a couple is well settled with excellent career in their respective companies, educated their children in great schools and saved enough for their retirement to live on their own after their children get their wings to fly away. Naturally, this couple feels very good about what they could accomplish in their life. They did not take much risk and pretty much stayed in one job for throughout their life and lived in one city and one home that they built as their nest.

When their children grow up, they aspire to pursue different professional qualifications that are not even thought of by the parents. The parents see a lot of risk in their selection of their major and try to associate it with secured and continuing employment for them to have a settled life. Unfortunately, the children of present generation like challenges and are willing to take a lot of risk. They like to do what they are passionate about and don’t worry too much about settling down in a job, city or a home for that matter. They are willing to move around, if required, in pursuit of their career.

In my family, every child became engineer and they all generally worked for governments in one job and retired with pension. One of my cousins decided to become a lawyer and was very successful in his practice. I became a Chartered Accountant (as per my father’s wish) and in pursuit of my career, worked in number of government and private organizations. I was always ready to learn new things and was ready to move to another job or country, if required.

Before departing to migrate to the US, my wife wanted to take blessings from my uncle. He asked my wife, “Is your husband crazy? Why is he switching jobs so often? Why is he leaving secured government jobs and moving from city to city?” My wife out of respect did not say anything to him. It is true I moved from job to job but did not leave before learning so much in each one of them. Finally, when I found a job that I liked the most, I stayed in that job for 9 years, built many offshore software facilities in India, moved to the US to become Executive Vice President, monitored the overseas operations of the US parent, reviewed multimillion dollar proposals presented to Fortune 100 companies, managed the IPO and acquired 14 national and international acquisitions for the company. Finally, when the company was sold, I started my own consulting business and continuing with it for the past 11 years.

After this experience, I decided that I will not influence what my son wants to do. All my friend’s children were aspiring to become a doctors, software professionals, attorneys, etc. my son decided to choose Mechanical Engineering as his major for his undergrad. I encouraged him to do whatever he likes to do. He finished his undergrad successfully and requested me whether he could pursue Master’s degree and a Ph.D. in thermal engineering. I told him to go ahead and he is performing so well in his chosen field.

As long as children are ready to educate themselves and plan their lives, why do we have to influence their decision to do anything in their career? I don’t want to limit my son into a cocoon of my mind that has limited thoughts. Why should l limit him to my comfort zone and I really want to let him go out of the box and reach levels that are unprecedented. He might decide to take a lot of risks but might get rewarded for his efforts. He might reach levels that I could never attempt to accomplish. I did not invent anything in my life and he is doing it. His professor tells me that he is working on things that are never explored before. If I make him think like me, it might limit him to my ability to think. I really don’t want to clone him to be me.
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Dear Bhavna,

Thank you for providing parents view of how important it is for children to finish the education on time. That is why I had mentioned in my post "as long as children are ready to educate themselves and plan their lives" in the last paragraph.

Viswa

 

Dear Vasu,

I am so happy to hear about your mother supporting your decision to do CA. It is my opinion, every child has a passion for something and sometimes it comes out clearly at a young age while other times, it takes time to come out clearly. During this period, some children might struggle and the parents need to assist them to find their interest instead of telling them what to do.

Thank you for your kind words for my son.

Viswa

 

Dear Satchi,

Thank you for giving practical examples of parents forcing children to pursue specific career. Here in the US, we have Indian Americans who migrated to the US in 70's as at that time US had a shortage of doctors. They all made it very big in the US and God bless them. When their children grow up, they think, they all should become doctors as well. When they don't, the parents get very disappointed and keep talking to other parents how disappointed they are.

Viswa

 

Dear Viji Akka,

I always get excited when I get a response for one of my posts. You have given a wonderful example of your own son for proving the point why parents should not stand on the way of what the children are interested in pursuing. I know how hard CA is as I did it myself in 1977. Even now it is very hard. Learning ERP is a great skill.

I don't know anything about Engineering subjects and I left him to settle down on something he likes the best. Many times, he explains to me some of the projects he is working on and everything goes above my head. I still watchfully listen to encourage him. But I know he is working on somethings, when completed, would be first in the world. Thank you for your kind wishes for my son. It means a lot to me.

Viswa