I am not a superwoman!

A million likes for that@Rihana.

 

OP, if you are willing to leave your job and you can afford to, then you must do so. Their argument that you should continue working to preserve the peace in the home is rubbish. Spend a few years with your son and go back to work when he goes to school. Alternatively, look for part time opportunities

 

@Rihana

I have a totally different POV about this matter. Since her situation is more similar to my life and many of my Indian friends' life in the past, I poured by advise as such.
I still feel Indian women should take up the managerial role at home. This is indeed tiresome, but a bliss at the end. How long you can be the slaves and expecting someone else to give you freedom?

 

That is a psychological issue OP. You shouldn't live in guilt for working outside of the home. Your child is indeed your first priority, but it doesn't mean he/she is your only priority.

If you are in guilt for leaving child at home (with MIL); hence being with the child whenever you get time clarifies a lot of things about this post.

You should first get out of this guilt. You are working for the child too. To give him a better life, unless you are compelled to work by others against your willingness. If so, this is the most important issue, which needs to be sorted out.

Source: I am was a full time working women, and now for a short period I have accepted a career break; hence doing consultancy job.
In my whole life, I have never felt guilt for working outside of home. All I did was planning... Planning a million times to ensure my kids are emotionally, physically and financially safe at the most safest hands while I go out for work.
I left them with my mom, so that I brought my mom to our house.

Had I left the kids at day care or at some ordinary place instead, I would have felt guilt for compromising their safety. Now that they are cool.

When I had to compromise on my children's safety (my mom has gone to sister's place now), I compromised on my career. Left the job.

Again, a lot of planning needed to set the finances correct. But I am not guilty.

 

Ya.. great...
I volunteered to write down all the "to do" list and had an open discussion with my H a couple of years back when he and his family accused me of not doing enough despite of my hard works both at house and office then.

I picked up my fav tasks, which I felt important as well as of my willingness. I showed him why I can't do the rest with the limited time. He offered to pitch in with his fav tasks such as shopping, bills etc.. and also requested help from MIL, FIL as they could.
For the rest we appointed a maid.

Now, we complain each other if the given/accepted tasks were not completed. (of course we have our bad days too. But then we are lazy too. Such nagging will wake us up; hence we run the house. At the end of the day, despite both of us working, having kids and elders staying with us, our big house is clean, tidy with readily available fresh meals.
Like in the past, he doesn't complain, and I don't feel exhausted either. We LIVE.

 

Your problem is different, way different than many people here responded.

There are 2 things which I noticed in this thread.
1) OP willing to work and manage her house. But she is not allowed to do so by her MIL.
By not letting her manager her own house and family, they find faults on her. She is upset.

2) But many responses came as if OP doesn't do so much work, and it is allright. OP doesn't manage her house, and it is all right. Because as a working woman OP doesn't really need to do all this.

Answering to the 1st issue, that you are not allowed to manager your house.

It is not easy. Get things done little by little. For this, you really need to invest some time for planning and implementing till you see the result.

If MIL cooks and washes etc... and then claim she has done everything.
Do this in response. Tell her before your H, 'Aunt", I recognize your hard working. You should rest now. Let me wash the cloths on Weekends as it is convenient for me.
Let me cook 2 meals before I leave the office as per my convenience.
Ask H to convince MIL, and pretend as if you are really concerned about her old age and health as he is.

Now, don't expect her acceptance. It is anyway your home. They are anyway accusing you for not doing enough.

Cook 2 fresh meals in the morning (B'fast and lunch). To which you can utilize your weekends for now.
Wash the cloths during weekends. Get husband to fold and other jobs done casually when you both are having good times. Tell him you must give some rest to MIL; hence let's work together to give her some rest.

Even my MIL doesn't want me to cook lunch for the kids when she was with us recently. But she cooked unhealthy oily stuff instead.
From the next day on wards, I cooked for all, despite of she telling me not to.
I continued to cook against all the odds. Finally she gave in.

Earlier it was my MIL who washes husband's cloths. Then she will be praised like Goddess for the job.
If I ask H won't give his cloths to me to wash. It is even Ironed by MIL, as if she only can iron them.

Slowly I started washing his cloths. Everytime both mom and son complained about color mixing, dirt etc..etc.., about my washing.
I continued to wash and then iron too.
Later MIL used to not washing his cloth. Once when H complained of not ironing, I asked him to iron the cloths himself as he wants. This time MIL is not around.
Since then he is washing, ironing of everyone's cloths. Afterall, the main job is just running the machine. The machine works regardless of who runs it.

You should control the house. Then only you can expect some respect which you deserve.
To control your own house, you sure need some hard work.

The key is not depending on others.

If you say my first priority is my child, so I will spend time with them... then obviously you are depending on MIL to do certain chores. Then obviously she will pretend as if she has done so much; hence her son would praise her against you.

Your house... it should be managed by you.