I am in a mess !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arbit · Dec 20, 2010

Nandshyam said: ↑

Ok, I understand. hmmm.. It is upto you to decide.

(1) You keep saying your husband is a cold hearted guy. Do you want to lead this loveless life or no?
(2) Do you think Ravi is what you imagined a husband of yours would be? In other words, will you marry him?
(3) If this SMS-EMAIL affair just an affair or are you bold, courageous, ready enough to take it to the step up, which is divorcing your current husband, getting custody of your child and then marrying this person?

Ravi blackmailing you is not a concern here. It it you and your weakness that you should work on.

If you want this marriage, then

(1) Have some self-control. You know that he is creating new email IDs and responding to you because you are CHECKING it every time right? Do this - Disable the account and forget that email ever existed.

(2) Your phone SMS both abroad and India - Who's cellphone were you using? Is someone else using that phone right now? If you still have it, just throw away the sim card and erase all the sms/phone history and contacts.

If you do (1) and (2), Ravi is Gone. Promise to yourself that you will never talk/think about him anymore. Don't worry about what he might do etc. When you go back to India, act as if nothing happened between you two and never be alone with him. Talk to him when needed with people around. That's it.

(3) Think.

What is that you want in life?
Do you love your cold hearted husband?

How is he towards you otherwise. Is he a good man, good father? Is he a good caretaker? Does he keep you and your kid well, providing you with everything you need? What type of resentments are you holding against him? Are they threatening to your relationship in such a way that its making you to go and seek love somewhere else?

Ask yourself these questions. If you love your husband and feel this guy is not that bad, and want this marriage to work, take the first step. Communicate to your husband. Tell him you feel lonely in this marriage. Tell him you need him to be there emotionally as well. Talk to him openly. Tell him we should have more sex and get closer. Tell him you are missing all the good one things you had in this marriage initially.

There is a saying in tamil "Rendu kai thatina thaan oosai varum" Innoru kai thatta varanumnu ethir paarthute utkaaraama, nee en atha kaiya eppadi thatavaikalaamnu yosikalai? So work on it. Love is a mysterious thing, it needs work to be fresh and burning, else life gets mechanical and lost.
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Very good piece of advice here

Spiderman1 · Dec 20, 2010

Old thread folks!

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I am in a mess !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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