Hypocrite In Law

Hi, sorry you have been dealing with this. I hope you take some comfort in knowing that you are definitely not alone in regards to your situation. Yes, this sort of drama is a real pain to deal with. Maybe in private, you can try asking your in-law (I'm guessing your MIL since you mentioned 'she') what issues she has given her hurtful comments and tell her what efforts you have been trying to do in order to keep the peace? Also, try requesting that she not go around telling private family matters since in the end, it will just make her look bad, after all, your family is also her family and vice versa! How would she feel if her personal matters were discussed with the rest of the world - not good, probably. Maybe that will bring her back to her senses.

I had to chuckle for a bit at the "necessarily evil" part as I was imagining her being some kind of rakshasi (female demoness), but I realize this is not a funny situation to be in but a very real struggle. Is there anyone else in the family whom you feel comfortable to confide in privately to try and reason with her (ideally, someone who is close with both you and her)? Any other relatives to draw support from (without going into details about her and her behavior, but just in general terms)? Maybe if you have a married sister/sister-in-law/co-sister/other female married cousin, they can relate to and understand how to deal with this type of situation?

Good luck and hope things improve here onwards.