Hyperactive Child

hey dont think ur alone with this pb. My 14 months old has turned my world upside down. I dunno if it is because she's my first child and i am not experienced, but if u ask me my child is a high need child and hyperactive. I had a similar problem with breastfeeding. WHen she was a newborn she used to nurse for 10 minutes the MOST and then fall asleep. When she got close to 3 months old she would nurse for even less than that. She never did 2 breasts. And then gradually i stopped breastfeeding and pumped for another 3 months cos it was a faster way to give her the required amount in so little time. i have to say that i had enough flow and milk supply. So I personally wasn't the problem. From 7-8 months onwards she started refusing the bottle. Now she drinks 120 cc the most. I give her milk with rice mostly and give her lots of yogurt to make up.

As for staying still. She NEVER did. Ever since she was born she used to make a scene in car seats, in baby seats whether bouncy or no and definitely no tummy time. And more importantly she never accepted staying alone in a room not even for a minute. She always had to see someone and have this someone talk, dance and make her laugh. u name it!

Her attention span was like 3 seconds. My original plan was not to let her watch tv before 2 years because of all those articles i read. But then after i noticed her short attention span problem i thought that maybe a nice show would make her concentrate a bit. So i introduced her to baby einstein. At 6-7 months she would only watch 3 minutes. Now thank god sometimes she does watch all of it. And sometimes she just wants it running and she needs to walk around the house. But if she's watching it cannot be without somethinng in her hands to play with.

When it comes to sleeping, its a disaster. She refuses to let go even if she is EXHAUSTED. If i put her in her crib to fall asleep alone she keeps going up and down and doing 'yoga' positions forever until she gets bored and cries for me to take her out. She doesn't know how to fall asleep and she doesn't want to learn. Sometimes i hold her to rock her and try to control her movements, she just wants to throw herself in the air or touch anything in the room just to get away from sleeping. She does this even if she is sleepy and tired. She just refused to let go.

And so on and on and on........ I sympathize with you. All my friends criticize me and think its because of me cos they dunno the whole picture. But i definitely think it was due to me being anxious during pregnancy because we had a lost a baby before and i was anxious all the time. I wish i can find any sort of help to have my baby feel more relaxed. I would do anything to find someone help me through this.

Good luck to you too and hope things get better

 

Hi cuetypiein,
Don't worry what you have described is completely normal.If somebody makes a visit to my home at 10pm they will be shocked.Because Sakthi is very active.I won't call this as hyper active. Its just exploring world phase.Keep talking to her when you find time saying things like why you should not get into pool.Reason out.They are very smart and remember all the stuffs.I'm sure everyone of us has undergone some tension during pregnancy.So thats not a factor to worry. Enjoy u'r time with her.Its ok to get tired.I personally feel you should give yourself some time and allow her to spend time with other people.I don't understand what standards u'r telling but for a child she needs love and I'm sure her grandparents will be able to provide it.
Good Luck
Mangai

 

Hi cuetypiein,
Here's my two cents. First things first - your child's behavior is not realted to you not breast feeding, fights between your ILs and parents or even fights between you and your husband. Take all that out of your mind - no child can be born with aversion to parents - believe that firmly.

The second thing that I want to get out of the way is your opinion about your how your inlaws take care - as you have pointed out they are not bad people but don't raise up to your standards - if they are not raising ur child day in and day out but are only baby sitting now and then, you don't have to give such serious thought to it. You should learn to make use of your free time. I hope I have not come across rude here..please look at it from the angle I am trying to explain.

Then coming to the actual issue - your child looks like a very high energy child. The second thing is she definetly testing your limits as most of the kids do at that age - now wonder they are called terrible two. So you need to learn to be firm. It will be difficult but she learns that she needs to follow the set limits, she will come around slowly. So try and not give in- this you can do by trying and diverting her attention, giving her a little treat for listening to you etc. While we think can she understand, believe me she very well can. Coming to dealing with her high energy, here is what I think will work - I want you not to mistake me in any sense please but just take my suggestions at face value because I know that as a mother you are doing everything you think is best for your child. So here's my suggestion - expose her to other activities other than her routine and watch her closely. For ex. at bath time she insists on playing while you are worried. How about staying close by to her and letting her play, if she ingests nothing will happen. Or how about filling some water in a bucket and give her a mug and let her loose while you keep an eye? These are just suggestions. While changing her diapers, first engage her attention to something else and diaper change is incidental? If it comes to that may be turn on the TV or read while she is eating? What I am trying to do is - make your actions (changing, feeding,bathing) look like they are not the main things she is doing and she will come around and this might become normal.

Another important thing to remember is kids always can sense our moods and our reactions. Learn to surprise them and you will see how surprised you will be and how much you will enjoy your little bundle of joy. This is not to say that there no moments of frustration, we all have that - comes with kids.
Hope this has helped.

 

hi friend,

To start with, first take the guilt off your mind n your system that you are a culprit and the surroundings created an aversiion. Believe that anything/everything can be set right only if you have the right attitude.
Coming to you now, im talking about you becos i strongly believe only a happy parent can raise a happy child. Not that you are unhappy now but realise your weak points and try to take things easily saying to yourself that this is only a passing phase.Take ample rest,eat properly,have fitness schedule and the most important which we moms do not do is have atleast some space for ourselves in the day.It backfires to us when our own people do not understand our agony. In such a situation the best thing we can do is fight it back ourselves.
Coming to your toddler, i feel its absolutely normal for her to be hyperactive. Even my toddler girl (now 2.4yrs old) has been thru this. I see that as they grow up they tend to get attracted to other play things. As of now her world revolves around you and you alone and shes trying to get the max out of you. Its easy said than done but see that she doesnt take you for a ride.
Hope this helps.ANy further help im happy to be there....

 

Hi sri,

U actually remind me the way I was few months back. My daughter is now 21/2 yrs but she was the same. She is still like that.. runs around and things like that. I used to keep Hanuman Chalisa at night when we go to sleep and the slokas used to go on till morning but reduced volume. If I sing along with it she will scream but slowly she started learning. I used to sit everyday for meditation and ask her to sit. She used to sit say OM and get up.Oflate I got lot of puzzles for her. Initially I started with 2 piece puzzles when she got the confidence I used to put diff 2 piece puzzles in the room and ask her to do it. She used to be occupied for 1/2 hr or so. Then give her water to play with. I used to give her bolied water and 2-3 mugs. She used to eat her lunch and dinner by trasfering the water. She has to be continously given activities. Now she does 4-6 piece puzzles. Wants me to read lots of books.

I totally agree with u happywoman.

Vidya

 

hyperactive kid

hi my son is 2 years old and he is very active and always running or moving here and there and he handles his cycle like a racing car.he is always engaged in throwing things or jumping,when it comes to his frends he is mmore excited and plays with them like crazy.in this process he hurts himself manytimes coz of his fastness.and he mingles with any kid very easily.his food habits and sleeping times r scheduled n perfect for now.but this hypeer activeness and angry is this the way they behave?i am lways confused coz i am seeing some kids are very shy and calm in nature.
i am worried.please anybody can give me tips how to calm down in activities.
thanks
aruna

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Aruna , like you said all children come in different shapes, sizes and temperament. On one hand, he may seem destructive or angry, but on the other he will also be a very perceptive, sensitive and caring little boy. Mine is also a very intense child. If you can read the book "Raising your spirited child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, you may find it very helpful in dealing with your LO.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Hi,
Its normal for some kids to be like this.What you can do is create a environment to vent is energy in a constructive way..eg-running,kicking ball,jumping on foam..Take him to park.Schedule this activity daily so that he will be calmer inside home.
Just make sure that he is not doing this because of lack of sleep(since you told its all scheduled you can ignore),food habits(processed food) or just to catch your attention.

 

Re: hyperactive kid

This is an excellent point.I have been reading a lot lately about behaviour in children direcly related to food habits.It is not just limited to processed foods but food high in sugar, food which uses artificial dyes like that.I would first rule out this possibility.
Second is sleep .If he is getting enough sleep then its fine
How is his physical activity during day time ?
I need to spend atleast an hour outside to give my DD enough activity.Even after that she will have energy to pull a 10lb rice bag.Some kids are full of energy.We need to focus and direct them in a positive manner.If I see her hurting too much playing with others I immediately get her to home how ever she cries.She needs to understand her behaviour not only affects her but it may scare other kids playing with her.
I think if they are only kid they get too much excited when seeing other kids.Especially for my DD if her friends come and visit her she will be flying in air.She will not have any control of what she is doing.I make her to sit in a comfy corner chair and ask her to count and do something so she can calm down. Talk to him maybe that will help.

Thanks
Mangai

 

Re: hyperactive kid

Welcome to the club Boyz will be boyz...My 2 year old is like that. But before you pass judgement that he is hyperactive and not just physically active. Does he have quiet times during the day when he is focussed in an activity like playing with cars or puzzles or trains? If he is completely unfocused even for a few minutes then I would advice you to talk to your pediatrician. If he is jut physically very active drain him out everyday with physical activity. Take him to the park and make sure he runs and runs. Take him to parent tot classes and play areas where he can do lots of climbing and jumping.

Thanks,
Kavya.