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Husband & Wife Jokes part2..(enjoy)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by ArabianDoll, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. ArabianDoll

    ArabianDoll Senior IL'ite

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    *First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
    Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

    *Wife: Honey: What are You Looking for in that paper ?
    Husband : Nothing.
    Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an
    hour ??
    Husband : I was just looking for the expiry date.

    *Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
    Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 ltr.

    *Husband and wife r like two tyres of a vehicle.
    If one punctures, the vehicle can’t move further.
    So intelligent men always carry a stepny with them

    * In a divorce court a woman requested the judge: "Your honor, I want to
    divorce my husband." "But why ?" asked the judge. She replied, "Because he
    is not faithful to me." The judge asked, "How do you know ?" She replied,
    "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

    *From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I
    die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know
    that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."


    *At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your
    wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, "Yes I am, I married
    the wrong man."

    *" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home
    that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's
    arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then
    coolly said, "Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax."

    *A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first
    married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers
    and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's
    all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
    around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. "You're still getting
    the same service!"


    *A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door
    and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every
    time they meet. Why don't you do that?" "I would love to." Replied the
    husband. "But I don't know her well enough."

    *A man was telling his friends, "When my wife is infuriated, she starts
    shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer
    her." One of his friends asked."And when you are angry, what do you do?" The
    man replied, "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and
    none of them dares to answer back.

    *A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. "Take my advice," said the
    neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that
    cured him. "Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said,
    "You see, his name is Bill."

    *"You looked troubled," I told my friend, "what's your problem?" He replied,
    "I'm going to be a father." "But that's wonderful," I said. "What's
    wonderful? My wife doesn't know about it yet.
     
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  2. krishnaamma

    krishnaamma Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi ,

    Nice collection. I heard some of them, but very nice.:-D
     
  3. khairunnissa

    khairunnissa New IL'ite

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    Hi.
    The jokes were excellent.:-D :-D :-D :-D

    regards
    Khairu
     
  4. khairunnissa

    khairunnissa New IL'ite

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    Hi.
    The jokes were excellent.Thanks for the entertainment.:-D :-D :-D :-D

    regards
    Khairu
     
  5. slgayatri

    slgayatri Bronze IL'ite

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    ha ha ha
    Good collection...
    Thanks for sharing ....

    Gayathri.
     
  6. puni88

    puni88 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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  7. umashankaran

    umashankaran New IL'ite

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    Hi !!

    good collections ya !!

    bye,
    :-D
    uma
     
    2 people like this.
  8. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

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    mmmm the never ending jokes....nice collections regards sunkan
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. Zeenat

    Zeenat Silver IL'ite

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    hey nice ones....:2thumbsup:
    keep it up....

    zeenat:wave
     
  10. Priya Amarnath

    Priya Amarnath Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi

    Nice jokes, had a good laugh.

    Regards
    Priya
     

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