Husband telling me" sorry" for the first time in our 17 years of married life

This is the key behind the success and failure of any marriage regardless of all the storms that a woman is facing from it.

A wife alone can weigh the goods and bads of her husband, and decide whether to excuse him for this or to give the benefit of the doubt for his act. Not others really know what is in between them.
Just because someone write something bad about their spouse in this anonymous forum doesn't mean their life is all bad. Sometimes, they may not feel the need to vent or write the good days of their lives here. It doesn't mean they never ever lived happy either.

According to me, if a wife excuses her husband and stand by him by ignoring all his faults, which means she is getting something or the other in her marriage life. She weighs the plus points over the negatives, and decides to stick to it.
If she decides to walk out, then which means she finds that there is nothing to hold on
Some people can still decide to stick to their marriages despite of knowing that there is nothing left, but they might be having a valid social or economical reason for it. But such souls would never excuse their husband, never love them back, but just stick to their life by cursing their destiny.

So there are different kinds of people, different kinds of problems and hence the advises also need to be varied accordingly.. JMO

 

A wife alone can weigh the goods and bads of her husband, and decide whether to excuse him for this or to give the benefit of the doubt for his act. Not others really know what is in between them.

Agree with that ......while looking at the goods and bads of the husband...she needs to look at herself and look at her goods and bads too....
Very often we get so obsessed with our goodness that we also forget that we are not perfect either. Abuse is not acceptable at any cost but small differences are always going to be there .

 

very happy for u frnd

 

You guys established some kind of understanding in your marriage of 17 years.So nothing can be changed now.
I think each family starts on some kind of adjustments or whatever from day one.We may not notice,the men do have complaints on us even though how perfect we are.
If you are not telling you are hurt before,you could start expressing from now on but don't try to work on things 360degree now.It may backfire badly.I undrestand Men have more temper than women.Women will show temper slowly in poison way but men will blow out in a second.(I am not talking to all Men and women - in some cases)
So be happy whatever you got into it and enjoy the life.But if you aer hurt make sure to tell him that you are hurt.

 

Looks like a few of us join just to kick the hornets nest and watch the fun.

To twist something so emotional for a woman into threat that dh might eventually leave- yeah balls are sure on fire.

 

ain't no balls in these trolls!

 

dear blessed!
i am happy for your husband's behavior.
but this is only the beginning.
because he might have started depending on you emotionally.
so my suggestion is don't bring the old issues now an try to bring him in your control.
when he is totally in your control you can outburst all your feelings.
still your fil and sil's are around.

 

Dear blessed,

Looks like you are being more and more blessed ;-)
Men grow up late but for sure

Be happy !!

 

Good observation..