1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Husband Takes Household Decisions With Daughter.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Sep 10, 2023.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Sep 10, 2023 #1
    EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,012
    Likes Received:
    135
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    I posted this several years ago. At the time I did not have examples.
    Again it’s happening. My daughter is little older now. However I have a son too.
    He is downstairs discussing which 7 seater Pacifica to buy with my daughter. sofa, curtains too.

    Why ?? I can clearly see he is acting like I don’t exist as a result I came upstairs so he will not see how much he is hurting me.

    This morning when he was taking my daughter shopping ( without me ) I yelled that they are grown up decisions he should be making with his spouse that and that his daughter is not his spouse. And to not involve my daughter in it. He was just taking my daughter alone to see the car. I don’t mind him taking the opinions of all members of the family for support and ideas but the whole attitude seems like he is acting like I don’t exist and our daughter is head of the household.

    He doesn’t even ask my son if the idea is to get everyone’s input. He is just treating her like she is his wife. ( again I don’t want an uproar here but I hope u get my point ). He will sit in the sofa holding her hands like a girlfriend and watch movies with her. What happened to me. ? What happened to my son ?

    He is discussing the color model and everything that needs to be discussed for the past one hour. Keep in mind he has NEVER EVER DISCUSSED even buying a house with me for more than even 2 minutes. ( My daughter was only 2 when we bought this house otherwise he would have probably discussed this with her as well ).

    I am just here venting AGAIN. Hope I have not offended anyone or said something inappropriately.
     
    EagerForInfo, Sep 10, 2023
    EagerForInfo, Sep 10, 2023
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Goahead

      Husband is full of guilt and always takes his parents side and fights with me

      Goahead, Aug 12, 2014, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      1
      Views:
      1,651
      gauridinesh
      Aug 12, 2014
    2. Worldtraveller

      Keeping Peace with Husband who always takes his parents side

      Worldtraveller, Dec 4, 2013, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      6
      Views:
      14,795
      Bavishya
      Jan 29, 2014
    3. mybaby1

      husband only takes gifts for his family

      mybaby1, Jul 20, 2011, in forum: Married Life
      Replies:
      4
      Views:
      1,803
      arty2010
      Jul 21, 2011
  2. Sep 10, 2023 #2
    MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    4,280
    Likes Received:
    7,131
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Female
    Looks like he has accomplished his goal of making you agitated. You know what his nature is like. Why do you expect him to change? Many posters have given you a lot of excellent advice in the past.
    It is also not good for your daughter to be put in the middle like this.
     
    MalStrom, Sep 10, 2023
    MalStrom, Sep 10, 2023
    #2
    chanchitra and joylokhi like this.
  3. Sep 13, 2023 #3
    chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,297
    Likes Received:
    1,594
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    He never respected you or treated you like a partner .
    He is close to daughter. You are close to son.
    It's not healthy for your daughter, the kind of emotions you have for her
     
    chanchitra, Sep 13, 2023
    chanchitra, Sep 13, 2023
    #3
    MalStrom likes this.
  4. Sep 18, 2023 #4
    EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,012
    Likes Received:
    135
    Trophy Points:
    128
    Gender:
    Female
    Sorry I didn’t understand? I have not said I am close to my son. I have not said I am against my daughter either. I am just venting at my husband.
     
    EagerForInfo, Sep 18, 2023
    EagerForInfo, Sep 18, 2023
    #4
  5. Sep 18, 2023 #5
    chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,297
    Likes Received:
    1,594
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I know your husband is a bad man.
    Your choice of words about Dad and daughter seems weird.
    That's all.
     
    chanchitra, Sep 18, 2023
    chanchitra, Sep 18, 2023
    #5
  6. Sep 18, 2023 #6
    ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    833
    Likes Received:
    877
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    OP

    Instead of venting now you please put your energy in working on exit plan from bad relationship. Your kids will grow fast. Focus on your health, job, kids. Book session with lawyer, keep your questions ready. Start working towards your goals. If you don't want to divorce then accept situation and learn coping strategies.
     
    ProudIndian, Sep 18, 2023
    ProudIndian, Sep 18, 2023
    #6
    shama146 and chanchitra like this.
  7. Sep 19, 2023 #7
    chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,297
    Likes Received:
    1,594
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Staying in a miserable marriage just for kids will do you as well as the kids more harm than good
     
    chanchitra, Sep 19, 2023
    chanchitra, Sep 19, 2023
    #7
  8. Sep 20, 2023 #8
    Anbhu

    Anbhu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    168
    Likes Received:
    97
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    You and your H have so many fights and issues. After reading all your threads, I don't think it is possible for both of you have meaningful conversations about household decisions. It is a dead marriage.

    It is not unusual for a father to involve daughter in house hold decisions. Many fathers adore their daughters, want to do start any auspicious thing first by daughters. In villages I have seen many fathers give the income to grown up unmarried daughters in home for safe keeping. In my friends family her car brand, model and color was selected by her husband and her daughter. The daughter was around 10 years old then. My friend proudly mentioned "They both decided and went and bought". Daughters are so special more than a wife love for a Man. Men who do not treat his wife still treat his daughter a princess. You should feel happy that he gives so much importance to her though you both have so much problems.
     
    Anbhu, Sep 20, 2023
    Anbhu, Sep 20, 2023
    #8
    shama146 and saikannan like this.
  9. Sep 20, 2023 #9
    chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,297
    Likes Received:
    1,594
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    In a regular household, This is correct

    Her husband is a psycho. He is probably doing it to torment her
     
    chanchitra, Sep 20, 2023
    chanchitra, Sep 20, 2023
    #9
  10. Sep 21, 2023 #10
    Anbhu

    Anbhu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    168
    Likes Received:
    97
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    How involving daughter in house hold decisions would be a torment to wife. Daughter is half of her. If husband takes house hold decisions with any other person be it male or female I can be to torment the wife. If he is really a psycho op by now would have found a way out.
     
    Anbhu, Sep 21, 2023
    Anbhu, Sep 21, 2023
    #10
Page 1 of 2

Share This Page