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Husband Takes Household Decisions With Daughter.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Sep 10, 2023.

  1. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    I posted this several years ago. At the time I did not have examples.
    Again it’s happening. My daughter is little older now. However I have a son too.
    He is downstairs discussing which 7 seater Pacifica to buy with my daughter. sofa, curtains too.

    Why ?? I can clearly see he is acting like I don’t exist as a result I came upstairs so he will not see how much he is hurting me.

    This morning when he was taking my daughter shopping ( without me ) I yelled that they are grown up decisions he should be making with his spouse that and that his daughter is not his spouse. And to not involve my daughter in it. He was just taking my daughter alone to see the car. I don’t mind him taking the opinions of all members of the family for support and ideas but the whole attitude seems like he is acting like I don’t exist and our daughter is head of the household.

    He doesn’t even ask my son if the idea is to get everyone’s input. He is just treating her like she is his wife. ( again I don’t want an uproar here but I hope u get my point ). He will sit in the sofa holding her hands like a girlfriend and watch movies with her. What happened to me. ? What happened to my son ?

    He is discussing the color model and everything that needs to be discussed for the past one hour. Keep in mind he has NEVER EVER DISCUSSED even buying a house with me for more than even 2 minutes. ( My daughter was only 2 when we bought this house otherwise he would have probably discussed this with her as well ).

    I am just here venting AGAIN. Hope I have not offended anyone or said something inappropriately.
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Looks like he has accomplished his goal of making you agitated. You know what his nature is like. Why do you expect him to change? Many posters have given you a lot of excellent advice in the past.
    It is also not good for your daughter to be put in the middle like this.
     
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  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    He never respected you or treated you like a partner .
    He is close to daughter. You are close to son.
    It's not healthy for your daughter, the kind of emotions you have for her
     
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  4. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry I didn’t understand? I have not said I am close to my son. I have not said I am against my daughter either. I am just venting at my husband.
     
  5. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    I know your husband is a bad man.
    Your choice of words about Dad and daughter seems weird.
    That's all.
     
  6. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

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    OP

    Instead of venting now you please put your energy in working on exit plan from bad relationship. Your kids will grow fast. Focus on your health, job, kids. Book session with lawyer, keep your questions ready. Start working towards your goals. If you don't want to divorce then accept situation and learn coping strategies.
     
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  7. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Staying in a miserable marriage just for kids will do you as well as the kids more harm than good
     
  8. Anbhu

    Anbhu Silver IL'ite

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    You and your H have so many fights and issues. After reading all your threads, I don't think it is possible for both of you have meaningful conversations about household decisions. It is a dead marriage.

    It is not unusual for a father to involve daughter in house hold decisions. Many fathers adore their daughters, want to do start any auspicious thing first by daughters. In villages I have seen many fathers give the income to grown up unmarried daughters in home for safe keeping. In my friends family her car brand, model and color was selected by her husband and her daughter. The daughter was around 10 years old then. My friend proudly mentioned "They both decided and went and bought". Daughters are so special more than a wife love for a Man. Men who do not treat his wife still treat his daughter a princess. You should feel happy that he gives so much importance to her though you both have so much problems.
     
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  9. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    In a regular household, This is correct

    Her husband is a psycho. He is probably doing it to torment her
     
  10. Anbhu

    Anbhu Silver IL'ite

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    How involving daughter in house hold decisions would be a torment to wife. Daughter is half of her. If husband takes house hold decisions with any other person be it male or female I can be to torment the wife. If he is really a psycho op by now would have found a way out.
     

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