Husband not good to my parents becuause of MIL's influence...what to do?

sujavinay · Apr 30, 2010

hei,
one more thing.
what is this?

.so i feel im the one who is making attempts to work out ev thing ,isnt it his duty to see a smile on my face???.

remember one thing the only person who has the right to make u happy or sad is urself dear.
MEN generally are a little obtuse in matters of the heart.
bear with them.

i feel that my husband is so good, but at times i could wring his neck for not understanding things.:rotfl

give him sometime kenny.
take care.

sujavinay · May 1, 2010

hei kenny,
hope all is fine with u.
why no reply?
pl reply as soon as u see this.
just concerned.

maybe u dont surf on sat and sundays.
anyway take care.

sujavinay · May 4, 2010

hei,
kenny, is every thing allright there?
no reply????

kenny · May 4, 2010

hey sweetie ,
sorry couldnt reply to u.but so swt of u to have been regular in checking my updates.
just that was too busy on the weekend and then there was some problem with the internet so wasnt able to access.
regarding any occasion....mother's day is there dear....
i know patience is the key but some how i feel v low...when i see ppl around i sometimes envy my friends...feel what wrong have i done that God is punishing me...i dont expect materialistic pleasures..dont want lotza money ..or other luxuries..but only thing is a loving family esp dont even expect anything from mil but at least dh should understand me..but...
he's fine till ur always at his disposal...if u agree to him always and be a yes baby he's v nice and caring but the moment u oppose he doesnt listen as if he is never wrong...
listens only to his mom..infact shares all his office talks with her ...with me only related to my work thats it...and ok he's nice but i want that openness that i want to just look upon him...have been living out before marriage for a long time...ppl used to value me a lot..be it at work or even friends...there are so many who count on me...but i feel my dh never tried to understand me..goes by what his mom says...so thats what i feel sad bout...dont get bored...was just wanting to vent my emotions...was feeling low...and im unlike other girls...who express there unhapiness by crying...donno why but i can cry only when alone....just become quiet...so dh feels m v bold...

kenny · May 4, 2010

well...we live in our own house which dh bought few yrs back and therefore gives has to giev emi's for that..well latey only i started my own business so can save around 15k to 20k after my expenditures...im 30 n dh is 33.well...we plan to take a property for my office since im on a rented plc rt now..rest...is ok...
as u know..
well as far as mil is concerned.d..she's ok withe me these days...touchwood...actually keep talking about her daughter and her 2 kids(my niece and nephew)so she'h happy talking about them.(though never even bother's to ask bout my parents well being...neither does my dh ask...huh..)
anyways i just try being a good gal all the time..though several things irritate me but just overlook the matters and be good to her...she's kind off ok..iv not got the time to get that embroidery thing to he though but would soon do that...
thanx anyways 4 ur support...
luv-kenny

sujavinay · May 5, 2010

hai dearest kenny,
ur thread has become a chat room only for both of us.
our ILites aren't replying.
i dont know why.

ask ur hubby after his day abt how was his day.
just ask casually everyday.
take interest and ask him.
dont worry if he stops with few words.
dont expect him to tell you automatically.
talk these in the bedroom only :thumbsup.
he might get used to talking to u abt office.
for all reasons ur husband might not be doing it intentionally dear.
talking to his mother might be a routine that he would have followed before marriage and he would have comfortably forgotten to change the routine.
like i said men are ontuse and cant think to such details.
please please forgive him for that.

secondly,
u might get angry at me for telling u this.
for a few days stop expecting ur DH and MIL to ask abt ur parents.
remember UR PARENTS ARE NOT THE PRIORITY ISSUE HERE:rant.
prioritize ur problems. sort them one by one.
first u have to get into and agreeable mode with ur DH and MIL and become real part of the family.

ok enough of advise from me.
tonight talk to ur husband casually abt his office.
then u tell him that 8th is mother's day.
would he like to do something for his mother?
take her out with you, buy a cake make her cut it.
bring emotional happiness tears to her eyes dear bahu rani.
open war and showing disapproval is not going to help u in ur case.
try this.
convey ur love to ur mother on that day and my love too.

take care honey.
remember
UNHAPPINESS LIKE HAPPINESS PASSES AWAY SOON.:thumbsup.

sujavinay · May 5, 2010

HEI ONE MORE THING,
u told u r the only one trying to make amends?
remember,
if u r hungry only u have to eat.
ur hubby and MIL are happy abt the present situation.

if u r not happy abt it and want a change, it is only in ur hands.

dont keep feeling lonely and low.
it is just not worth it.

go check ur haemoglobin level.
at 30 most of the tiredness could be due to low Hb dearest.
if ur Hb is ok u'll feel abundant energy in u and u would be able to handle 10 MILs:thumbsup.
OOOOOooooo

ha ha ha
cheer up big girl.
check ur Haemoglobin and let me know.
i'm not kidding.
take care.

kenny · May 5, 2010

hey dear...
v true even i was gonna say the same thing that its just the 2 of us chatting;lolz...anyways...
hey what all uv advised me i already do that..infact ask him ev day as to how his day was n stuff...infact even told him that just the way i tell him ev thing bout my work even i wana hear him...but donno he actually remembers things only when his mom is around...else says it was the usal thing-lotza work...
yeah i know i have to forget bout my parents rt now...but as i told u this has happened offlate past around 8-9 months..infact initialy things were in place...so thats wat i wonder what has suddenly happend that there is so much of change in their behaviour...
well..cant help it...
and i guess ur mistaken...im not having any open war with him...what all u said iv always done that for her...infact ev year we do take her out ..and also cut the cake..and infact get her some gifts as well..so would always do it like ev time...its not that im a bad bahu my dear..i try my best to please her...but u know the case....
anyways thanx sso much for bearing with me...
and thanx 4 ur advices..
loads of luv...

kenny · May 8, 2010

hey sujavinay...
u were the only one who was replying to me...wats wrong u also stopped...angry or what?hey it is good to read ur posts dear...keep writing...feel at least there is someone who is there to help me out..and is concerned...waiting 4 ur reply dear...
and any ilites please feel free to write to me...i dont get any reply from u guys...please suggest gals..

achoo · May 10, 2010

Give it sometime..new marriages takes sometime to settle down. The inlaws feel threatened by a new person taking away the son and his love. It will change.