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husband gets influenced by friend

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by sushnp, Nov 11, 2012.

  1. sushnp

    sushnp New IL'ite

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    hi
    my husband always gives importance to his friends and family than me
    he always shares personal problem with friends who sometime give a wrong opinion abt me
    he gets influenced by them they dominate on him
    when i ask him to take decisions on his own
    we always have fight
    for him wht ever his sis and his friends say thats final
    wht ever they say is always something which is against my wish
    so we have fight
    and he says i want to separate him from his friends and family
     
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  2. indianguy2010

    indianguy2010 IL Hall of Fame

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    How long are you married?
     
  3. sushnp

    sushnp New IL'ite

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    married for 4 years my husband is like this from day 1 i did everything to change him
    in this process i have become bad
    he says becase me he lost contact with gud friend

    he takes imp decisions by consulting his friends
    not me
    only anything related to kitchen he asks me
     
  4. Eraser

    Eraser Silver IL'ite

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    Your husband might feel you are not matured enough. Stop fighting for this - your fights and bad mouthing about his friend's influencing him is not going to make discuss-with-wife-first as his mantra, rather it might make him not even to reveal if any decisions are made unless you get to know from its effects.

    You genuienly appreciate him for any good decision he made, give suggestions on where few could have been done differently without hurting him.
     
  5. sushnp

    sushnp New IL'ite

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    thanks @Eraser
    i will try i try my best to keep quite but sometime i get irriate with this nature of his
    i do not know why from the very next day of marriage he is like that
    his mother , sis friends everyone dominates on him as he is very soft to them

    he had a differnet plan about planning kids but his sis told something
    so he changed his dicision again later i got upset and he went and told this to a friend
    he told that its too late so he should plan than again he changed his plan
    he shares everything to his friends in off they inturn come and sujjest me which i do not like i feel insulted infront of them
    his frined changed his ph no so he also wants to do it
    his friend is asking him to buy some car so he wants to buy that
    i am really tired of this life
    i just have to cook clean take care of kid
     
  6. Eraser

    Eraser Silver IL'ite

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    First you pls mentally get out of that last statement (cook, clean only) - it may be the situation now but eventually you will be much more than that.


    He’s dependent while making certain decisions – but why it’s not you? Simple, his ego wants to assume that at least one person in his circle is like him / below his intelligence and that’s you. Sorry but that’s how I read it.

    Take for example (plans to buy car that his friend suggest) - pls go along for test drive and give honest feedback and motivate him to trust you / your suggestions - What I say may sound theoretical but confronting doesn’t do any good and motivate him
     

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