husband cheated me

Bull****. How are u surviving with this devil. Why didnt u come out earlier! If your parents have to take care of your expenses than better move to them only and start with small job. Make him pay monthly exp for u and children legally. And how can he say that he cant spend on u! He knew he hv these health issues than why marry at first place?

 

Dear Anitap,

I do not think that is a good advice.
Each person has some negatives and some positives.
Understanding these and accepting each other is the essence happy family life.
Blaming each other is not good.
The prevalence of diabetes in india is about 20%. That means one out of 5 people are diabetic.
Being diabetic is NOT a valid reason for separation

regards

Dr A CHAKRAVARTHY

 

What has happened is happened now.. i dont think there is a way to change your husband's nature.. He is not caring his health even at this stage when he is weighing so much, he works from home.. he must be having bad tempers.. he is not afraid of his own kid's future too. I am also diabetic and i am so much afraid of its worst side effects like losing eyesight and many more organ failures.. so scaryyyyyyyyyy..
Just think about yourself and kids.. whatever is possible take one job and secure your future for your kids.. he is eduacted and working amn but still behaving like illiterate.. you cant help now.. help yourself.. make yourself strong whatever possible way.. Dont think about cheating and anything as you cant do anything now.. you have your won health and your lil kids to take care.. so be strong in all the respect finanically and emotionally..

 

She has not suggested separation. She is just asking the OP to be emotionally and financially independent. Which is required because her husband doesn't care to make savings or even care for the family.

His attitude is very clear. I spend till I can. You do whatever you want to, I dont give a damn!

And the suggestion of being independent (not separate) is not because he is a diabetic, but because the fact that he is diabetic was kept hidden purposefully to trap her into marriage by the whole family. And no one is accepting that it was wrong. Instead, they are mocking at the OP saying "do what you can."

I dont think it is wrong to expect an adult to co-operate with you when you want to take care of them and improve their health. If the OP's husband is hellbent on eating junk and not pay attention to the scaling diabetes, I don't think it is worthwhile to run after him pestering him to put down the samosa and gulp the glass of milk.

My 2 cents.

 

well,

DR. SAHIB please tell me that if i have AIDS or CANCER, HEART PROBLEM, VITILIGO, KIDNEY PROBLEM, EYESIGHT PROBLEM and i dont tell any person who is going to marry me and get married.......

Have i not cheated the other person.......
Have i not destroyed their life......

PLEASE...........
It is very easy to be sitting on the banks of a river and telling the person drowning in the river that please swim out of it. It is so easy.......

So I agree with ANITAP that those CHEATERS ruined the OP's life.........
And now showing ATTITUDE of the worst kind to her.........

What kind of people are they.......

The guy doesnt want to do saving cause he knows no future........
What about OP and kids.........

I would say i disagree with your chain of thought...

 

If I were you I'd slap a cheating and harassment case on them and get them behind bars QUICKLY!

 

Thanks smriti and Quebec.

 

Before jumping to conclusions could you tell me what the blood test report was? What was the sugar level in the 2001 report?. Often in a report they dont write if the patient has diabetes or not. Only the sugar level mg/dl will be in the report. FYI sugar level in the body varies every hour of the day. It is the doctor who interprets those numbers and confirms if the patient has diabetes. Secondly, doctors usually conduct another test called A1C to be fool proof sure that a patient has diabetes as many times sugar level can be misleading based on what the patient ate before the test. Please make sure you interpret your evidences correctly before jumping to swift conclusions.

I do agree with you that even if your husband got diabetes after marriage your FIL cannot blame you. It is really outlandish to say due to some one's bad luck he got diabetes.

Considering your conclusion to be true --> Do you think that this medical bill/report in 2001 is a good enough ground to ask for divorce. What difference would it make to you, especially at this point in time, whether he got diabetes before or after marriage. Going by your logic, I know you are feeling cheated at the moment, would you be able to guarantee that the next person in your life will not get diabetes. If at all anyone is facing the brunt of diabetes it is your husband and not you. Diabetes is not a contagious disease. Your husband can lead a perfectly normal life if he has a right diet and exercise. btw it was not under his control that he chose to suffer from diabetes. I get it if you are mad at FIL for accusing you as bad luck etc but I don't get if you are accusing your husband for having diabetes. A little empathy goes a long way. Just my 2 cents.

You might hit back at me saying your H was at fault because he concealed his diabetes from you before marriage. Now he could argue back saying 'You didnt enquire about his diabetes before marriage and so he didn't tell'. You wouldn't throw him away if he got diabetes after marriage. Think through and make a balanced decision.

 

From op's post, it looks like she is venting out and not talking about separation or divorce.

 

Yea, even i felt she is venting out more because her FIL has blamed her. May be also because her husband is not responding well to her efforts.