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husband cheated me

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by vijjianand, Jan 6, 2013.

  1. vijjianand

    vijjianand Junior IL'ite

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    Dear ladies,
    I got married in 2004 at 23. My hubby was 29. The same year I was pregnant and during a free check up my husband was found diabetic. From then on I controlled his diet. Made sure he ate only chappaties at night and lots of veggies. Till date I'm doing it. But he eats a lot of junk food which even a normal person will not eat. Over the years he gained weight and he is now 110 kgs.

    He is on insulin from 2006. Now he takes 72 units of insulin everyday. He got BP from 2006. He has severe leg pain after walking half a kilometre. Now he is restricted only to home. He is in IT and has theadvantage of work from home for the past 4 years.

    Recently I found his 2001 diary and he had some medical bills. He has written that he has taken a blood test and found that he had diabeties mellitus.

    He has lied to me that he got it after marriage. When I asked his father he said there is no rule you cant marry a diabetic. The same person abused me that because of my bad luck my hubby got diabetics after marriage.

    I feel cheated.

    Viji
     
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  2. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    Shame on them.... Cheats.

    Even after so many years of living with you and seeing your genuine love and care for him, he did not have the decency to tell you the truth.
    He is the bigger culprit here.

    And instead of apologizing, fil is making a mockery of you.
    You have every right to feel angry, betrayed etc.

    Try to become financially and emotionally independent.

    Improve your life and stop doing seva. He is an adult. He should know to take care of his health and also cooperate with your efforts.
     
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  3. Hardworking

    Hardworking New IL'ite

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    I understand. Even I hate when somebody who are close lie and cheat. It is worst than direct abuse or fight.
     
  4. bhuvnidhi

    bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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    Hugs to you ,dear!What a family is that?FIL abuses you saying your hubby became diabetic due to yoir bad luck while actually the son was already diabetic.How ruthless of them?What is yoir hubby's take in all this?Did he take your side?Did he ask his dad to shut up since the codn prevailed even before marriage?From your post I understand he did not.And still you are worried about his health.I can understand but it beats me when a woman has to take care of such men.Your FIL should be in jail for cheating you and he has the audacity to talk about rules???

    There is no point in looking back now.They are cheaters and cheap.Period.

    Why is your hubby not controlling his junk food intake.The next time you go o the doctor,request him to tell your hubby sternly about what he should eat and what not.May be a diet chart from doctor can help???
     
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  5. shruthipraveen

    shruthipraveen Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to read your post, Viji. I can imagine how bitter you must be feeling. Have you confronted this with him?
    *hugs*
     
  6. aminroop

    aminroop IL Hall of Fame

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    well what can i say except " your bad luck!"
     
  7. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    maybe even FIL was not aware that your hubby was diabetic before marriage & now he has nothing to say but trying to keep upperhand by saying that there is no rule about marrying diabetic...........still ask them once & clear this issue...........continue taking care of your hubby's health.....its important for your future also..........
     
  8. seethavarma

    seethavarma Gold IL'ite

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    Will you leave your husband for cheating?

    I think NO,Yes?

    Well with controlled diabetes a person can live long as any other person does.
    Art of living is very good as somebody i know is doing it daily and is healthy.
    If you have any say, talk to your husband and convince him to change his foodhabit,if there is any elder who is reliable to you and your hus,share it and let that person talk to your hus.
     
  9. aamrapali

    aamrapali Gold IL'ite

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    I guess there is not much you can do about it now unless you consider this issue serious enough to part ways.
    I would talk to my parents first if this were an arranged alliance through them to see what kind of background check they had done on the groom. And then perhaps your parents could take it up with your in-laws.
    I know of cases where husbands have hidden something as serious as impotency and basically destroyed the entire woman's future - no intimate life, no kids. So what can/should be revealed and what should not is still a very grey area in indian arranged marriages and different people rate the significance differently. For some AIDS may rank the highest, followed by impotency. Diabetes may not be considered a "big deal" by some. Of course, in your case I think you are more upset by the way they have concealed/handled the problem more than the problem itself.

    Your FIL defense is like a thief trapped in a corner, basically he did not know which way or where to run when you confronted him. Now that you have made known to both your husband and FIL that you know this information and have also confronted them for accountability, the advantage going forward will be yours. They know (even if they do not admit) that they have been the wrong-doers in this instance - it will (it should) make them tread carefully with you at least for some time in the near future.

    Aamrapali
     
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  10. Stressfull

    Stressfull Silver IL'ite

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    hello op,

    it is obvious that u r feeling cheated, and to top it your fil's worst conclusions, will he accept u if the thing is reverese.

    good u confronted them, and leave it there talk to ur hus how much care u have been taking for both of ur betterment its better if u directly ask ur doctor to explain him how much harm does over weight causes, as suggested by bhuvnidhi you can ask urdoctor to prepare a diet chart .

    encourage him to do some physical excercise regularly, dont spoil ur mood dear everything will be alright.tc.
     

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