Husband Always Tired!!

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Jan 8, 2024.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    My kid is very hyper active and a very stubborn child.She is smart but it gets very tough to get her to do things or studies ans everyday is a struggle.At the end of the day we end up so tired also.

    My husband is always stressed with work. He is very tired all of time.

    Infact i do all the housework and take care of kid activities etc.

    Sometimes i too need a break! I need help..

    everytime i complain to him he responds by saying “office stress”. He has always said this past 10 years and changed jobs but still.

    He sleeps off most afternoon during weekends also.

    I look at other couples and its not like they r always tired.Everyone is working and looks refreshed.

    I give home cooked food,i worked very hard with his diet and made him lose 15 pounds, he also worksout a bit .

    I do everythibg for him and just dont know what else to do!

    Maybe he is bored of family i dont know but this is irritating!

    Yeah he is 48 but i dont think it is old age!

    I am also a human with feelings..our sexual like if also nil not that i care anymore!

    I want him to be relaxed..

    Is the above normal or what else can i do?
     
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  2. salad

    salad Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Anika,

    Few suggestions
    ) everyday evening you both go for a walk together. Just 15-20 minutes. ( may be when your girl got few classes in the evening. Utilise that time for you both)

    ) every night after your kid went to sleep spend 15 minutes together in the bed. Initially you might be discussing about homework, vacation, finance etc. Slowly it will change.

    ) Whenever lil one's vacation comes, make short trips like 1 or 2 days. Small trips gives a change of location and it makes more relaxing. ( don't over stuff your vacation with things to visit and do) consider it as a relaxing vacation and spend more time outside like park or beaches etc.)

    ) if it's a weekend you should have the picnic bag ready. Go near by park or beach spend 1- 2 hours. Play some games. Take a walk. Talk and communicate with each other.

    ) Try to find 2 or 3 families with your kids friends. When you travel with another family your lil one will have friends and you will get a break. Keep bit flexible regarding food and itinerary. ( when you try with 10 families you will get 1 or 2 wavelength matching friends. Then try to maintain it by potluck or weekend park trip etc)

    ) your girl must be in some sports activities or dance etc. Where she can burn her energy productively, get some appreciation, show off ber talent etc.

    Don't expect to change everything in a single day but make small changes. Things will gradually change.

    I feel after lil one grow bit bigger it's the time to bond again for couples. But it won't be same as in 20s but more matured and understanding way.
     
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  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thanks dear
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    upload_2024-1-8_18-30-30.jpeg

    Think of rejuvenating drinks like water melon which reported contain several nutrition elements compounds that give a boost to the sagging energy and enhance libido. Pakoras ok. Age is number.

    Prtend to be enthusiastic and then enthusiasm would stay and rub on other members at home. Let year begin with more cheers......
    Regards.
     
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  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Don’t compare to others. You don’t know the reality of their lives on the inside.
    Your husband should get a full physical. I don’t know if his company will pay for an “executive physical”. Many places are now offering this as a benefit. It is much more thorough than a regular exam.
    Even otherwise he should get a full blood work up: lipid panel, check blood sugar, blood pressure, iron, cardiology exam, thyroid plus any age-appropriate screenings. Now the minimum age to begin colonoscopy screenings for both men and women has been lowered to 45.
    Good eating and sleep habits, and regular exercise will also help. If he gets the required hours of sleep but still feels tired then a sleep study might help.
     
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  6. hrastro

    hrastro Platinum IL'ite

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    Just try it for 15 days before you laugh at this idea !!

    Start with the smallest step - Can you find a relaxed 1 minute everyday? SAME TIME EVERYDAY!
    Maybe just before you sleep or just as he steps out for work ... or dinner time or chai time?

    Find that 1 minute every single day - and give him a compliment !
    Ask him to say something kind to you!
    It could be anything from looks to cooking to work to attitude to a good heart!

    Every day - even if is just a repetition of the same comment/compliment everyday!
    Both of you tell each other something funny, nice, kind, loving !
    Graduate that to Compliment + Hug ...
    Even when you're fighting (Especially when you're fighting) - this 1 minute you must exchange a compliment + hug...
    Both of you will start feeling more energy and confidence on your own relationship!

    Kids tantrums and career frustrations are temporary, your relationship NEEDS to get back in focus!

    Keep smiling
    HR
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2024
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  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Will try this thank u
     
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  8. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    I agree with Malstrom. This is not normal.

    Either he is like those typical old style men, who expects women to take care of home .

    Or he needs medical attention.

    I differ from regular suggestions on you being more romantic, may be because i have interacted with you though indirectly in this forum before. there is nothing wrong in it. but it feels like you need to become more of his MOM than already you are.
     
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  9. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    please this Office stress is nice a excuse. i do not buy it.
     
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  10. Divyasaravanan

    Divyasaravanan Silver IL'ite

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    Get him checked for Vitamin D levels. Sometimes, vitaminD deficiency may lead to tiredness! My sister had alarmingly low vitamin D level and was feeling tired all the time. After she started taking prescribed high dosages supplements, she became ok.
     
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