The HAMB (Husband, A Mommy’s Boy) Phenomenon! Well, Ladies, I promised to you something hot and here you go. Of late I am becoming notorious with many controversial topics like gossip, hypocrisy and jealousy. Many ILites, out of their love and affection, are sending mails and pms to me advising me to stay away from these and confine myself to Kambar, Bharatiyar and a walk around the streets of <st1:city><st1lace>Madurai</st1lace></st1:city>. It is nice to have sweets; but to have it every day is a bore. Then you start dreading sweets. Once in a way you should take chilli-bajjee also. (You may ask the resident culinary expert for the recipe for the real chilli bajjee. And for the metaphorical chilli-bajjee you are welcome to Varalotti) Believe me ladies before writing this thread I went through a thread in Family and Relationships Forum which deals with the same subject. I read all the posts there, word by word. I am proud to belong to a community which boasts of highly matured women. I feel that you can get a glimpse of the problem even from the name of the thread itself. The complaint is always, husband, A mama’s boy. It has never been Husband, a Papa’s boy. At the most it has been at times, Husband, a Mama’s and Papa’s boy. Don’t ever think that I am singling out women for attack here. Far be from me any such intention. But in the present social set-up it so happens that women are afraid of losing their sons to their daugthers-in-law. Just think it over. Suppose the entire marriage system were reversed. Instead of women going out of their homes to live with their husbands, if men were to go out of their homes and lived with their wives and wives’ parents! Well in that scenario there would be sites called www.indusgents.com where men would be lamenting about their wives. My wife a papa’s girl. This is not fanciful imagination ladies. I can see that in a very few homes where the man comes to live with his in-laws as “veetu mapillai.” One of my friends is living with his wife and her parents. He hails from a middle-class family, while his wife’s side is very rich. He frequently complains that his wife often leans towards her father and does not support him. This kind of thinking places the problem in its proper perspective giving us a convenient handle to deal with it. Right from the time a boy is born his mother is a kind of goddess to him. A heroine and a role model. The boy even detests his father as his rival in winning over his mother’s affections. The much hyped Oedipus Complex is in full swing. The mother too basks in that glory. When the son gets married and a younger woman enters the house the mother naturally feels threatened. Her position as her son’s heroine is under serious threat. So she spares no pains to secure her position and resist the invasion. As the body’s immune system rejects foreign matter the mother rejects her dil. And believe me some women would go to any extent to resist that. And when they view their dil as their rival in fighting for the man’s attention they unleash all kinds of terrorist activities. I know a CA boy. His father had a small hotel near the office where I did my CA apprenticeship. We used to to hotel for our afternoon snacks. His vellaiappam, dosai and adai used to be very tasty. His only son was doing CA in another office. The hotelier who had come from very humble beginnings was very proud of his son. I used to see that soft-faced fair boy at the hotel, manning the cash counter. The boy finished CA pretty early and was hired by a big company in <st1:city><st1lace>Madurai</st1lace></st1:city>. People started rushing from all directions to give their girls hand to that boy. The father was on cloud nine. He almost conducted a suyamvaram and chose a PG girl who was working as a teacher in a local school. Hell broke loose soon after marriage. The boy’s mother was so very possessive of her son that she could not even tolerate the boy and his wife sleeping in a separate room. They lived in a very small house. And the young couple was given a small 10 by 10 room. The boy’s mother would wake him up pretty early in the morning. After despatching the dil to do household work the mother would ask the boy “What happened in the night?” She used to say sternly, “Repeat every word she said.” If the boy hesitated the mother would shout, “That bitch who walked into your life yesterday has become more important than your parents who gave their life and blood to see you like this.” If the boy were to be treated like this imagine how would they have treated the girl! Very soon the matter went out of hand. The girl went to the Police complaining dowry harassment, which was of course false. The family’s reputation was lost. The boy could not withstand the shock. He fell seriously ill developed a cancer in his throat and died at the age of 41.