Womens Dictionary Let's open the dictionary!!:mrgreen: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? =Too late, you're dead
Sardar Jokes Q. Why can't Sardar dial 911? A. They can not find the eleven on the phone ---------------------- Q. What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies? A. He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !! --------------- Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (As he has already one with him) A. he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!! --------------- Q. Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? A. Because below 18 was not allowed. --------------- Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence? A. Stick a tyre pressure gauge in his ear. --------------- Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? A. Pull the pin and throw it back. --------------- Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth. --------------- Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday. --------------- Q. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? A. Trying to hold on to a thought. --------------- Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week? A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday. --------------- Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? A. They always forget the recipe. --------------- Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? A. He threw it off a cliff. --------------- Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A. A wind tunnel. --------------- Q. What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? A. The back of his head. ---------------- Q. Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? A. They think their picture is being taken. --------------- Q. Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? A. Toes Go In First. ---------------- Q. How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? A. It has a stamp on it. ----------------- Q. How do you get Sardar on the roof? A. Tell him the drinks are on the house. ----------------- Q. "Oh, look at the dead bird. A. " Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where? ----------------- :bang:bang:rotfl:rotfl
North Indian Girl Vs South Indian Girl WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A North Indian GIRL as WIFE 1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age. 2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her. 3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry. 4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder. 5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill. 6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair. 7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching "Kyonki saas bhi kabi bahu thi" that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself. 8. You are a very "ESpecial" person to her. 9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you. 10. When she says she is going to "work out" she means she is going to "walk out" 11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.:-D 12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are "Thank you" and "How are you" 13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson. WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A South Indian GIRL as WIFE 1.Her mother looks down at you because you didn't study in IIT or Madras / Anna University . 2. Her father starts or ends every conversation with " ... I say..." 3. She shudders if you use four letter words. 4. She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided (The Dubai based Oil Well Company will negotiate with her on a 25 year contract to extract coconutoil from her hair.) 5. She uses the word 'Super' as her only superlative. 6. Her name is another name for a Goddess or a flower. 7. Her first name is longer than your first name, middle name and surname combined (unless you are from Andhra) 8. When she mixes milk/curd and rice you are never sure whether it is for the Dog or for herself. 9. For weddings, she sports a mini jasmine garden on her head and wears silk saris in the Madras heat without looking too uncomfortable while you are melting in your singlet. 10. She thinks Kamalahazan is the sexiest man alive. 11. Her favourite cricketer is Krishnamachari Srikkanth. 12. Her favourite food is dosa though she has tried North Indian snacks like Chats (pronounced like the slang for 'conversation') 13. She bursts into songs with her cousins in every movie. 14. She bores you by telling you which raaga each song you hear is based on. 15. You have to give her jewellery, though she has already got plenty of it .. 16. Her thali (Mangal Sutra) weighs more than the championship belts worn by WWF wrestlers. 17. She is more educated than you. 18. Her father thinks she is much smarter than you.. Toh kaya Bolte Ho EAST AND WEST Bhartiya Ladki Ke Bare mein ???
dear krishnaamma, this is already posted here............ http://www.indusladies.com/forums/showthread.php?t=598
Hi, Sorry, for both of you. I have not seen very old posts before posting. So,... here after I will be more careful and try to put new jokes to this site.:-D Bye, with love, Krishna amma
