How you want your MIL to be?

Well Said, same here
I dont want her.My life will be better without her.
She says all useless things ,uses us for her own fantasies ,lives her dreams,spends like hell,
I have not found any solace in her even after living for 4 years with her.

 

Hmmm.... let me see.. On the whole my mom-in-law is a really nice woman, but very very possessive... In my dream world, this is how I envisage her to be:

1. Respect everybody equally, and not just put on a show of respect...
2. Not give herself airs just because she is from the groom's side and expect anyone even remotely related to me to bow down to her..
3. Stop comparing her to my mom or me or my sister..
4. Stop imposing her style on me - clothes, jewellery, food.. everything has to be what she likes..
5. Re'ber that I am also some one else's little girl just like her son is her little boy!!
6. Re'ber that her son is married to someone else's daughter and not a 'pari' who just happened to see her son, like him and marry him!!
7. Stop expecting my dad-in-law's side of the family to keep treating them with awe and respect all the time. Accept that they have moved on and so should she..
8. Let people come closer to her, without formalities.. accept that people can still love her even if she does not shower them with gifts...
9, Stop showering gifts to people who dont even acknowlege her existence..
10.Stop crying wherever she goes!!!
11. Accept that she has grown older in age and reduce her workload accordingly.. (She normally does more than she can, and then complain about it!)
12. Most important of all, stop being so formal!!!

I can continue like this, but then all these put together is what makes her that unique personality..She is a really nice woman who is scared of relationships. Any relationship of her's has to be on her terms, which is not always possible given the fact that a family is like a dish which has got different ingredients in varying quantities..

Mythili

 

Sounds so much like my MIL..I share a similar wishlist but a few add-ons:

1 Stop judging people on how they dress-up. If people dresses up simple n dont wear heavy jewelry, attires or make-up, it doesn't mean they aint smart or are dumb.
2. Stop thinking that everyone notices your clothes n jewelry and how good you look and respect you for that and not what you are actually as a person. (In her circle people notice clothes, make-up, jewelry so she thinks my circle would also do the same! )
3. Stop over thinking and over talking on minor things!! (if I don't do something the way u do, it doesn't mean I don't respect u!!)

She always feels people should praise her and is afraid of people saying bad things abt her or her family (including me ans she wants ppl to always praise me, which is jus not possible!!) I wanna tell her that don't bother much about what people think, coz if u gonna make everyone happy, u will go crazy, but she does that and goes crazy on us (me, my hubby and my FIL) on social gatherings!!

 

:twisted::twisted::twisted: In a silver photo frame with a sandalwood haar :twisted::twisted::twisted:

 

hi Jmusic! I can see anger on your face and frustation too. i really laugh ed after long time. good answer.

I want my MIL to be sometimes with me. Mostly away. that way both of us enjoy ourselves. when we are together watching each other steps makes it a kind of trampling. we both loose sight of other things/people.

 

MIL - Stop crying and stop being a drama queen.

 

My mil is not a bad person but for her own peace of mind sake, I would like her to accept that everyone has different lives and she cannot compare me to her daughter all the time in everything.

 

@ jumusic :She must have done something really bad to deserve this....lol

 

Silvertulip, I think u r right.. Ur MIL sounds so much like mine No matter how much we can say, there is no changing them!!

Mythili

 

how you want your mother in law to be is question of past tense for me now LOL!!i really wanted a person i would understand and she would understand me..would treat me like her own daughter and i could consider her as good as my mother "not a replacement for mother though"..my dreams are completely shattered..wheni was new in marriage..i really wanted to do lot of things for them..But soon when they came to stay with us, they started showing true colors..and like many others all my views about them changed completely.and did this repeatedly..creating fights between me and hubby, bad mouthing me. etc..so i really don't care how my MIL should be !!she is only mother of husband thats why i have some relation to her