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How to tell PIL to live someday with BIL and family too

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by iamnidhi, Nov 17, 2015.

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  1. iamnidhi

    iamnidhi Senior IL'ite

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    Hello,

    Just wanted to know how to tell my PIL to stay someday rather months with BIL and family too?
    I am not saying not to stay with us but I want them to stay at his place too. He is also son.he just do care from phone:( even I will do care from phone no big deal.

    It's irritating me I am trying different things to cool and they are enjoying there.
    I want they to stay with them too.
    its not like we are staying at PIL place.they live in city x, we in city y and BIL in city z.

    i want them to stay here 6 months and with BIL to with 6 months.

    i could not have said this if my dh could be only son. But that's not the case. Why I alone should suffer.

    has anyone of you have same condition like pIL staying with you like forever and your BIL is living comfortably. Have you said your Pil to shift for somedays??

    i mean staying with us and listening how much he care is not digestable for me.
     
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  2. CrayoNess

    CrayoNess Platinum IL'ite

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    Why cant the poor pils stay in their own home?
     
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  3. iamnidhi

    iamnidhi Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks @crayoness for wonderful reply. Before knowing how they are calling them 'poor'.
    They stay their for 1 or 2 months
     
  4. Lakshmipav

    Lakshmipav Silver IL'ite

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    @op do u have any problems with inlaws are they creating any issues during their stay at ur home .. If ans is yes ur DH can ask his bro for this ..

    if the ans is no what is the issue if they stay at ur home ..my parents live with my elder brother my younger brother lives in 2 hr of distance from my town even though they stay there for days n come back they don't feel comfort .. My elder SIL has no prob she has all freedom to go any where n invite n frens b relatives her bro n sis studied living at our home only ..

    my mil prefers to stay with me rather than my bil house bcoz co sis is not comfort with mil .. I never ask n compare my self with co sis never say it's ur duty too .. I did what ever I can ..out of 6 mon in USA my mil stay at my home 51/2 mon just 15 days at bil house .. No comparison no arguments no criticizing .. I wil give her all freedom at my home she cooks takes care of baby ..we go for walk I will take her for shopping n etc ..

    how comfortable ur inlaws with co sis .. If depends .. If they are more comfortable with u there is nothing wrong in staying with u ..
     
  5. susree

    susree New IL'ite

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    I pity ur in laws....
    how many children do u have
    if u have only one son.. .then do plan for another SON.. otherwise ... i will have to pity ur son... cause he will be stuck to looking after u... which i doubt
    ur attitude is not correct...

    What we sow .. that we reap...
    change ur attitude ,, u will start liking them.. i

    imagine urself in their place,,
     
  6. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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  7. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    She is also asking for her six months off like you have.
     
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  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    What do people without son's do?
    Like coolgal,I have two daughters.And guess what....never have I worried about some son in law having to take care of me. What freaks of nature we are ? No?
     
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  9. Lakshmipav

    Lakshmipav Silver IL'ite

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    six months rule its bcoz of the country rule not our intention particularly ..if we live in India how come the 6 months rule applies my mil wil be with me forever if she is not or my co sis both r not comfortable .. If my mil wants to Stat at my home then why should I ask bil to take her ..

    once my mil gets gc then she stay perminantly with us so six mon rule is crossed I hope ..
     
  10. anumuralik

    anumuralik Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear op,
    we understand your plot... This kinda issues keep happening in all the families... Especially in families with multiple sons... And to be frank... It is the responsibility of every son to take care of their parents ... Not just the elder son... And parents too should plan their stay accordingly... But I would also say that it would be strenuous for the elders to keep changing places often... But again in your case it ain't a strenuous job though... I also wanna point out one thing... Are your BIL and co sis having good relations with your PILs? If your PILs aren't comfortable with them then it's obvious that they will avoid them... I also wanna ask you... Don't your PILs have a home of their own? So that you guys keep visiting them often? That way you can have your own time and also be with them when they need you...

    what ever it is... I would suggest you to discuss it with your husband and come to a conclusion... If your hubby too feels the same as you then it would be easier to convey the same to your PILs... Explain to your hubby that it is your BIL's responsibility too to look after his parents...

    good luck...
     
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