1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

How to tell my mil to stop answering when someone talks to me!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Pramati, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. Pramati

    Pramati New IL'ite

    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    My MIL is a seemingly sweet person.. but very pushy ..so the combination means, no one other than me realizes that she is beign pushy. Especially with me, she wants to push me to the background even when friends of my hubby come visiting. We live with her all the time, so its not a temporary problem.

    If someone specifically looks at me and asks something about my DD, or about anything, she answers and sometimes without giving me an opportunity to contribute to the conversation. How do I tell her ,diplomatically to stop doing that?

    She drives me crazy with so many things, and all the while my husband thinks his oh-so-sweet mother is being blamed by an unreasonable me. So, the idea is to get the message across tactfully but clearly.
     
    Loading...

  2. deeprapriya

    deeprapriya Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    384
    Likes Received:
    277
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Use the phrases/conversations, that she cannot understand or choose the topic out of her knowledge.... which will be one way to stop it and that will make her keep quiet or move out...

    Next, if the conversation is about DD, or anything that she can also answer, let her answer first, u can take it from there and add additional notes that she is not aware of.... eventually she will be stopping this....

    Its a kind of domination....
     
    4 people like this.
  3. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,869
    Likes Received:
    4,931
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Try playing along for a while. Next time someone asks you a question, just smile sweetly and say your MIL can answer better than you. Once you stop trying to make it a contest she may lose interest.
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    3,280
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    I would say ignore, as you said your MIL is a sweet person. May be she is doing that just to get the attention. Looks like your MIL is far better than other MILs described by other DILs in IL.

    Just take it as if its her weakness.
     
  5. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,503
    Likes Received:
    302
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    As you said she is a sweet person, m assuming she is not doing this to shove you out of the scene.Is she same when others are talking too ?I mean when your dh talks to others would she intervene and take over or is it just with you?
    My mil has similar issue ,however she has a habit of opposing whatever i say before others faintingsmiley
     
  6. crazywriter

    crazywriter Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,534
    Likes Received:
    1,033
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    This is a generic issue, some people have the habit of wanting to be a part of every conversation, even if it does not directly involve them. This is irrespective of their age or gender or ethnicity. It is not pleasant when someone interrupts you all the time that you are unable to voice your views.

    Perhaps you could try replying to the question irrespective of who else speaks? Say what you have to say in a normal volume, looking directly at the person who asked you the question. At the same time, don't push your mil to the background, once you finish your statement, turn to her and acknowledge what she says as well.

    The point is to establish that you also have an opinion, and you want to express it.
     
    1 person likes this.
  7. IniyaaSri

    IniyaaSri IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,679
    Likes Received:
    5,314
    Trophy Points:
    415
    Gender:
    Female
    Many mother in laws have the habit of doing this! May be she wants to be the center of attraction in all places. Or she wants to dominate you.

    As Deeprapriya mentioned, try to use phrases or words which she doesnt understand. When someone asks YOU something in particular, if she answers on behalf of you, let her. Next moment, you ask them something (related to them) which she wont understand or which she cant interfere. Try this and see how it works. Lets see.
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,628
    Likes Received:
    1,407
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    star speaking fast.Before even she egins start conversation.Dont stop talking even if start her own yadda yadda
     
  9. ssrgopal

    ssrgopal Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    51
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    I guess may be your MIL is not even aware, she is doing it and this act is also irritating you or may be she wants be centre of attraction.

    Best way is to talk straight into the eyes of person, who asked you questions, keeping your tone firmly. This way even when you both talk parallel, the 3rd person might ignore your MIL / or ignore you also thinkingsmiley
     
  10. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    763
    Likes Received:
    1,276
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    You start answering before her whenever someone asks her a question.
     

Share This Page