How To Stop "comparing" With Other "parents"?

Kids don't need vacations. An evening walk or a trip to the local park with parent/s, a story reading session is stimulation enough. Stop beating yourself up. Working parents probably need breaks or vacations. 5 year old kid certainly does not.

 

Kids don't need vacations for education.
You can take him for walk,hike etc.
Library will have summer activities.
Don't feel guilty. Do what you feel is best for your kid.
Parents love and time is far more beneficial than the summer camps and classes etc

 

Some parents like to boss around . Just ignore her

 

Hi Anika, you had posted a similar question a while back. The same replies from all of us applies for this post as well.

Too Many Places To Travel ..but Can We?

Luxury vacations or exotic destinations, most kids don't really understand the difference. Make memories rather than trying to compensate with money or guilt.

Every parenting style is different, she can be considered over doing by many. 4 times Disneyland for a 5 year old, the kid will get tired of Disneyland n lose the magical feeling if they keep going like its their backyard.

There's a limitation to how many classes a kid can attend, n their interest level n that each kid is different. So, it's not fair to the child to force into a class just because another kid does.

Socialising, that depends on your personality n interest level. You want to socialise, do, you don't want to, don't.

You can't change who you are for somebody else, will she change for you if you say she's over doing it ?

Vacationing, extra classes n socialising are not the only way to show that you live a happy life, it might not even apply to many families. She has pointed to what she's good at. She might not be good at many other things that you are good at. So don't go on a guilt trip or break your head over all this.

You will meet many characters like this in your really life, this is like peer pressure. But believe that you are doing the right things for your own family n none of them can push you off balance. What works for one family doesn't for another, we are all unique. Believe in what you are doing, it will stop this continuous guilt trip.

 

@anika987 , I too felt that when my older one was 5-6 years old, that we didnt go for vacations like my peers - excluding the India trips. So planned and prepared, and slowly by the time the younger one was 3-4 , we had our regular vacations. Now my younger one is 14, and he doesnt even remember the good places we went to, not even when I show photos. the only memory he has is of frolicking in the beach - the play grounds, the tents, the card/board games we play - the place/country/ blueness of the beach- nothing matters. Just the funtime with family, a getaway from home, time spent with cousins. The places we visited after he was 10, he sort of remembers .

With my kids almost grown up, let me tell you that having a loving family is the bestest thing for your kids. Spend time with her, explore hobbies with her. A couple of classes at most in areas she is interested in - if nothing specific then one sporty, one artsy . Just like you are doing now.

Spend time with her - exercise together, build stuff at home, collect leaves/flowers, garden, paint, make you-tube videos, watch fun videos together, get her to help with cooking, baking, - you will build a far greater bond than any exotic vacation together will, she will learn more than any two hour-once a week class will impart. And you will be raising a well adjusted, well loved, responsible child.
Occasional fun outing , day trips will add a zing, something you can plan and prepare together. And maybe even budget together.

Happy parenting!

 

Hi,

Every child out here is unique. You should know what the best for them. Comparing with others will put an unnecessary burden on you and also on your child.

Play with them, understand them, look after their hobbies and help them stand out.

 

The most important gift you can give to your kid is ' your time", nothing else.

The quality of time spent is important than quantity or exotic location to play. Just ask yourself what can you remember from your childhood. You will find answer yourself.

Comparing your life to others and being unhappy or insecure will only affect your own life. So stay away from those negative influence which make you pertubed, count your blessings, be happy and think about how you can spend your time effectively with your kids. Be positive & happy OP. Only a happy mom can spread happiness to kids.

 

Kids do not measure fulfillment of their lives, by the number of vacations they are taken to. first and foremost understand this. Next is ,your friend is cunning; her intentions are deliberate, to make you feel guilty and jealous on her. She is successful in achieving what she wants from you.

 

Anika,
If you want happiness / peace of mind in life please stop comparing your life with others. How to stop always connected to your mindset, it is within you and has to come that attitude from you only. If you can't control your comparing attitude then compare your life with people who are having below status level of you maybe it gives you satisfaction.
Do your best to your kid and provide what you can. Never count happiness with materialistic things.
Just posting my favorite quote