How To Say 'no' Politely?

Isnt it weird that the mom is ok staying back in India without the kid and has not even bothered to talk to the OP who is taking care of her daughter . Like some one mentioned above, I think there is something going on between the child's parents. What if there is a custody battle or something along those lines. OP would end up being a part of their legal mess even without knowing about it. SO please stop being apologetic and instead be firm. The parents have no problem leading their own lives at the cost of causing inconveniences to you.

 

I agree. I thought it was so strange the mom didn't interact with her at all. What an unnecessary problem to get involved in. OP, please be firm and make sure he understands that he can't impose on you indefinitely.

 

How can that mom just leave the kid to be taken care of by a stranger.
I would not even give my kid to my mil

 

This man and his wife are using your innocence and good heart.

In fact, it is great to help someone in need, but it is foolishness to continue the help when it gets tricky.

The problem is not about saying NO. You have already said NO in different ways, that too directly. But he and his wife somewhat force you to take care of their DD here.
So, it is important to make a bold step immediately.

Call the man immediately. Tell him that you have enrolled to some study programs, or job or gym or whatever.
So, your times are not flexible.
Tell him clearly that you are no longer available to look after his DD due to this.
Do not give him any suggestions like day care... Let him decide.
Don't give any explanation, Don't drag the conversation, just be blunt, firm yet in a cool voice.
While sending the girl for the last time, you may buy some gifts for her... and of course hugs and kisses!

You are not required to give him details of your work, gym or any programs.

He lives in the US, and there are plenty of secured care system available.

Indeed, I pity on this kid, whose parents are utterly careless and irresponsible.

 

my MIL did this favor to neighbor , that is baby sitting after school for an year or so. no hinting or nothing worked out. finally she had to tell directly that she could no longer take it.

If you are not bothered about maintaining the relationship, just tell them politely but firmly , I am finding it difficult to take care of three kids, please make an arrangement. Of course when kids are not around.
you might have helped them 100 times, the one time you did not will be remembered. But don't mind this, you already did a great favor for 9 weeks.

 

' I told him, my kids have swimming lessons for tomorrow and day after tomorrow and this will happen every week. He asked her kid, do you want to join swimming as well. I had to stop him saying that they would be at different levels'.
Asking his kid whether she would also join the swimming classes I think he will not take a subtle hint.
I recollected many situations where I would be held up in some meetings/ day care would be a holiday/kid not well hence telephone from the school to pick up.......any small help at that point of time was like a life saving drug and I would make it a point to invite the concerned family for dinner in the same week/ buy some gifts for their kids story books,toys or something just to show my gratitude.
But this family is taking you for granted but you have made your first move.

 

Indians are raised never to say "no". I think it's a great handicap.