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How To Resolve This Problem?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ushee, Jul 8, 2020.

  1. ushee

    ushee New IL'ite

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    Hello Ladies,

    I used to be very friendly with my co-sister. ( my husbands brother's wife) and share her lot of things. when ever there is a problem with my SIS, MIL , I always call her and talk. My Husband is a mommy boy he do not support a lot to me. After my ILaws passed away due to the property and other stuff, my co-sister got against me. Her husband my BIL started telling all things that I shared with her to my husband about my in laws. Now in every conversation/arguments my husband started bringing it up and making me cry and I am losing my health a lot. How can I resolve this and live happily with my family. Pleeeeeeese every soul here help me with good suggestions.
     
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  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Ushee,
    hate to tell you this, but your first priority should have been your husband no matter he is a mommy boy or not. But what done is done. You can have a heart to heart talk with your husband and try to talk things over. Tell him what things you told your co sis and why you did that. if he made you feel bad, you should let him know. I believe everyone should get a fair second chance. Good communication is the key. Also, give him your word that this will not happen in future. It is a matter of broken trust too. So you will have to build that up. Hope you find peace!
     
    Ramyarc likes this.
  3. PurpleRoses

    PurpleRoses Gold IL'ite

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    So sorry you face this.
    Your co sis is so mean to share all this after your mil passed away n creating a ruckus.

    How you can deal?

    I would say when your husband is calm and relatively in good mood, sit beside him and say that whatever you had conversation with your co sis was purely situational vent and you didn't mean anything bad for your inlaws.

    Tell him that as his wife you understand he is hurt by you but tell him that he must be knowing his wife well after all the years of marriage and have some trust and empathy and try to understand how you never mean anything bad about his parents and it was a dil-mil differences nothing else.
    And also tell him about your co sis instigating his brother and say that you both as husband and wife need to stand united as a family first n let go of the past.

    There is no other way to deal with this unless you sit your husband down and have a polite but heart to heart talk and assure him that you grieve the loss of his parents as well.

    P.S. most husband's will never forgive esp when parents are gone as they use it as an excuse and resort to blame it upon you. I feel sorry n I guess there is no way you can change this than giving it time n not letting his words affect you for your mental peace.

    I hope your husband realise that you are his lifepartner n blaming each other constantly is not gonna give peace to anyone. If kids are therez they are mentally emotionay gonna be affected more.
    Hope your issue solves.
     
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  4. ushee

    ushee New IL'ite

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    Greatly Appreciate your suggestion and I will follow it through. As you said the only mistake I made is talking to my co-sister. Other than that I never being disrespectful to my Husband. God bless and Thank you. Is there any mantra to make him calm.
     
  5. ushee

    ushee New IL'ite

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    Thank you very much for your response and suggestions. Ushee.
     

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