How To React With This Situation????

Ramya - your dreams to live aboard have not been shattered , you can always create your own opportunities and avenues to live aboard .
Getting married so your spouse can take you aboard is also an avenue / opportunity to fulfill your dreams . It would have surely worked out if your spouse’s dream was also “to live aboard with my wife “.

 

I agree with Endlesshope. Ramya, it sounds like to me you got married after he convinced you that you would be living abroad. Now that you think it is not going to happen, you are regretting it a bit? you did say you do want to live with him if you have a nuclear life....then maybe you can pull him aside and explain to him your issues and that you don't wish to live in the village. Tell him your dreams of living abroad and maybe he will accept. If that doesn't work, you can always work and save money to live abroad. Are you wanting to live In USA? Canada? I'm just curious where.

 

Seriously??????????
You married a guy because you would get to stay abroad for 4 years????
Did you not think about your life beyond 4 years?

 

very strange reason to get married........you have ruined your life by marrying someone for such a superficial reason.

 

Marriage is not a fairytale. It needs sacrifices and adjustments. Your wish of nuclear family or living abroad can be fulfilled by him in 2 ways.

Either he will understand whatever you say and give your love most of the importance in his life and leave everything else just for your happiness. But in that situation this thing can be raised by his side y should he sacrifice so much just for u as u r raising this at this point.

Second u can force him in some way to fulfill your dream. Then even after living separately he will not be happy. Then will you be able to be happy.

Do not give so much importance to your dream. See the real life and find out the ways to adjust. One should leave the relationship if it become too difficult to adjust. Otherwise there is no use of leaving. U will not get any better life after that.

 

Last night my Dh was totally stress out and very angry. If it had been 5 years before I would have yelled and finally we both would be upset. I just waited for him to whine and yell. Then after 15 minutes i understood totally. he was not angry at me or kids or anything.

he is getting old like me. he was scared about the immigration and not able to settle properly. visa and job was making him worried about how he can settle back in india and get job. mind you there is age discrimination openly practiced in india.

he was telling we should move to canada too.

so my dear , abroad is not as rosy as it shown in sharukh khan movies. also expecting your man to provide heaven and earth is not right.

 

You never said why he brought you home after 3 months. In this period its a bit surprising to see a husband go abroad for a long term opportunity leaving a wife back in home. You were newly married either.

 

YM give her a break no one marries a beggar, that does not mean everyone is behind money.

 

She says 4+++ years