How to persuade my wife to start working?

So many things you have written in this post is similar to mine.
Iam sailing in the same boat like your wife and Iam also taking the same stand.My husband is very upset with me.
Be it the stuggle endured to establish a career,
financial situation regarding house,
dialogues like " I will work when you lose your job"
"I was happy working in India" all has happened in my house.

My guess is your wife is a sensitive person.She might not be sharing her deepest fears/passions in life with you.The fact that she hasn't come clear in this situation shows she is holding thoughts for some reason (might be she has fear of her ideas being rejected or fear of your judement for instance)

Sometimes people might look confidant but they could be vulnerable to things you hardly can imagine possible.

sometimes saying things like "ithellam oru problema - can hurt if she thinks its a big deal

She could even be depressed that she is unable to handle pressure when other gynec could.
She did not know how she will fare untill she landed on job.it could have been a suprise to her too

Try to initiate conversation to re-discover her and see her in a new
light ...who knows you might get to know some interesting details that explains her behaviour or she might herself pour out to you if you seem genuinly interested in knowing.

All the best!.keep me posted when things work .I might also benefit

 

I have been following this post since a while. I too am academically a doctor. I wont take a complete stand of your wife because none other than herself knows the real reason but yes as janvi just stated above...it could be fear...it could be depression of not being able to manage .
I was never interested to move into medicals. Right from my childhood I had been a good scorer.....and studious....more than respect, I had fear of my parents scolding or comments. I always knew that being a normal middle class in India and with 2 younger siblings of mine, my parents were really struggling to make us 3 stand but I still could never instill medical into myself.... at this point parents go wrong. Yes they do think of kid's bright future but at the same time forget that each individual is different, be it nature, be it aspirations or whatever. I was brought up with almost all facilities but many restrictions. Being a good scorer I was automatically fed that I would go into sciences...I did willingly... but still for some reason never wanted to be a doc. I was being forced to...all emotional stuff at home...Finally I decided to drop an year...give exams with a condition that if I do not get into any free seat...they would let me do what I wanted to. Because of atmosphere and restrictions at home....may be I wanted to enjoy and explore life...I wanted to move into a simpler course that would let me meet people talk to them..something like that and my parents couldnt digest this as they had never seen me speak much even....I dont deny that I didnt prepare seriously that 1 year...appeared for exams and got through 2 by luck or misfortune...dont know what to say. The only thing that made me happy was that my parents were very happy and proud...I WASN'T !!

Left to hostel...suffered home sickness badly badly..... unwillingly but cleared medical with good grades.... meanwhile I had an affair with a non medico. My parents always wanted me to marry a doctor who was established so as life would get an easy flow...any parent would. But I still wanted to get out of this feild... They couldnt digest a girl like me having an affair.....and kept saying its your immaturity. That had been the ONLY matter for which they couldnt make me bend. After many many many hardships for about 3yrs.....they agreed me to marry any non medico but of their choice....I was a strict NO.....Somehow...they agreed and I got married to the love of my life and that was the last day I ever thought of or did something related to medical. SInce then, I am a happily married woman with a comfortable life if not luxurious with the best man on earth...who is a son to my parents and the apple of their eyes...and most of all...I AM A BUSINESSWOMAN ASSISTING MY IT HUBBY IN HIS BUSINESS FROM THE LAST 4 YEARS !!!

I very well know that now my parents do believe from within that they were not that right for me and I had been adamant when it was my sibs chance to let them do what they wanted...mom dad agreed and both my sibs are doing good with parents satisfied.

I have just shared this verry long story just to bring forth that may be your wife too has gone through some similar emotional stuff. I always did well all throughout my studies even in medical and internship and the little job phase....My parents and relatives could not digest why did I shift my career....I never use Dr. in front of my name....and feel that if at that time they would have permitted me to do what I wanted to....I would have been a better businesswoman.

Talk to her...show her you care and you wish to clear all her fears and doubts....Tell her she can move into anything she wishes to...dont ask her at this moment to add financial help to you but that you want her to be a career woman.... free from any emotional insecurities and that this would help both of you emotionally to bond together and as an example to your kid. Be a support to her as my DH was to me. It took me 2 yrs to come out of the guilt that my parents spent a lot of money and efforts on my studies and what am I doing....as I couldnt start earning from day 1 after entering a new feild altogether. it was his supprt and patience that helped me get through...

ALL THE VERY BEST !!!

 

I just happen to see this thread.While she was working,does any major incidents happened like some one died.I know as a DR they should be knowing that kind of life style.But I am not sure,some where her strength closed down itseems.
May be some counsling may help her to reagin her strenght if something really closed her professional life doors.

 

so seems like she got the point!!:thumbsup
eithr cut down expenses or work and earn more to spend more extravangtly

 

May be she can do residency in a different specialty, some of them have done that. OBGYN is extremely stressful in USA with very high incidence of malpractice lawsuits. It is difficult to go back to practice after 3-4 years of break. Some of my classmates who did surgery and OGYN residency in India did internal medicine and family practice residency here.