How to permanently avoid a shrewd UIL ?

Have you already worked out your marital problems with your H?
Has he started showing concerns, affection and finally love to you?
Have you guys discussed the common goals of your marriage life so far?
Are both of you in the same page?

Oh... I forgot... Has he started trusting you lately?
Has he consider you as a part of his life; thus believing you as his well-wisher?

If your answer is YES to the questions above, then YES... You should immediately work on this matter. It is not good that someone else try to use your H, but he and his parents are being careless about it. Do something immediately..

If your answer is NO to the above questions, then NO... Forget about bashing this UIL for the moment. He is not your priority right now.
Work on your marriage, relationship with H... Make him trust you. Make him believe you as his well wisher. Make him understand your capacity of judging people, and finally everything will fall on the right place without much effort. Your H will listen to your concerns with an open mind/heart. Your UIL will understand that you are being vigilant about his motives, and your H is on your side.. So he will eventually take a step back. Your ILs will also be proud about your acts to protect their own son.

Else, all your attempts will be bashed and throw down to the bin.... Beware

 

I agree with SGBV until ur husband does not trust ur judgement or starts caring for u whatever u say to him against this UIL will only make him not like u even more. That would be like playing into what ur Uil wants. Do not increase the friction between u and ur husband thanks to this UIL. This is not the right time to tackle the UIL issue.

Is there any other member in ur extended family who also dislikes this UIL? It is likely that he is misusing some other people as well owing to his parasitic tendencies. Gather such information that u can use later when it is time to strike.

Try and be emotionally strong and not focus on UIL for now. Right now show love to ur husband and try to make him see u in the right light and prove all the misunderstandings created by this UIL and others about you wrong. Once u r able to fix ur marriage u can tackle the UIL issue.

But u know i feel ur husband is also at major fault here. Whatever others may say, he is an adult and makes his own decisions ultimately. He should know better how to treat u with love and care that u deserve as his caring wife. Hope u can bring him to his senses through ur single handed efforts towards this marriage. Hopefully once he sees u for who u really are and what u stand for as opposed to whatever misunderstandings he may have towards u he will start caring for you as he should . All the best. Be strong.

 

OP ...you have to accept that your husband is not a naive victim here.You have told him about the legal implications.He knows and continues....he is okay with what is happening if not hand in glove with his uncle.

You can try working on your relationship with husband .....maybe some day he will change.

 

OP,

Both your UIL and husband's behavior seems odd. Not to justify your UIL's or husband's behavior. But, I was just wondering, are you sure there is nothing else that you do not know? Is it possible that the UIL did something to deserve your husband's devotion to him? Do you know if UIL has ever helped your husband or ILs in the past?

I think you should try to find out as much as possible about their relationship. I think you can resolve the situation better if you know the reason for your husband's attachment to him.

If UIL has done nothing to deserve this treatment, then you should try to get your husband on your side. Start saving for your future - children, home, etc. Put more money into savings so that lesser is available to UIL.

Do not say anything against UIL to in laws. PILs will not support DIL against UIL. You will end up becoming the bad DIL for no fault of yours. Your husband should be the one stepping up here.