Hi everyone, Just joined this forum and read your messages. I've been in Chennai for the last two years and though I have some beautiful memories, it has also been tough settling in and living here. Have met some helpful and kind souls but more often, people ready to take you for a ride, especially where house maids are concerned. Just wanted to share my thoughts and share experiences with all of you. Love, Palak
small things of life give us peace hi everyone I make it point to stand in the balcony as soon as I get up in the morning.ithank lord and take fresh breathe of air,watch the lovely green trees around and enjoy the birds chirping aroun and squirrels squeaking around. the next thing is i do is to give food to the squirrels and crows.i keep a cup of rice apart for them plus biscuits and nic nacs for them everyday. my daughter makes it a point to feed pigeons and crows on my terrace everyday. i buy bajra for them. neaarly 25 pigeons ,couple of crows, mynahs,and parrots come there.i believe that mankind should help other living beings in whatever manner they can. i make it a point to help my servant,s children in their education.evn the watchman and ironwallah itry to provide them what ever i can.ifeel happiness if do it even if it is small token i feel it gives me immense happiness.i feed couple of dogs in my street as well.my husband and myself make it a point to provide some amount of donations whatever we can to temples and other organizations.it is nothing great compared to what so many people are doing.but it gives me peace and happiness. these are small gestures of life and i thank god for having made it possible . kanaka Raghavan
Dear palak, it is unfortunate that you had had some bad experiences in Chennai. I am also from another state, but I found Chennai more helpful than my hometown. We have to think of the economic condition of the women who come to work for us. It is only natural that they may try to take us for a ride. Many of them come just to have atleast one square meal a day. Now, the girl who helps me has 3 children. Recently she had viral fever and did not come to work for 15 days. After she came back, I enquired about her breakfast or lack of it. She said she will buy idlis and give to the children and she herself would not eat anything . I felt very bad, here I am preparing good food for my family and this girl is starving. So I told her that I will rpovide breakfast everyday for her, though I have agreed to pay extra for not providing food. I do not give her left overs which has got spoiled. She may be fooling me also, may be thought I was gullible. But I am doing it with my whole heart. Like Kanaka said, we should help people who are around us first and then we can extend our helping hand to others. Palak, how do you find Chennai now?
Hello Dear Palak, Is palak your favourite vegetable. It is normal that servants create trouble initially. As kanaka and Varloo have said, First we should try to know what causes this reaction and how we should change attitude to retain them . Generally here they respond ifyou give them good food and give a lending ear to their poroblems . We must remember they also take time to like us but would like to feel secure as well. How is chennai now to you? Regards, Meenu
dear varloo and meenu i fully agree with ur views.like varloo said i also feel bad when the maid does not have anything to eat.when we have so many things to eat. we should spread the warmth and we do find it being reciprocated.millions do not get one square meal a day.i sometimeswonder whether india is land of punniyams so many rishis have lived and done so many pujas .but still so many live in distress.whereas the western countries are so developed.
My amma's policy with maids Dear friends, I still can't figure out if what my mom's doing is the right thing or not, but I surely know that what she is doing is defly good and will take her a long way. She makes the maids(2 of them) eat first and then do the chores. She prepares fresh food everyday and feeds them breakfast and tea. So when there's dosai or adai, she would first serve them and then we all would eat. Her policy is that when those poor souls are going to work right after eating bfast, they have to be given importance. Again, like you all have mentioned the maids might just be taking her for a ride or whatever, but I think I agree with Varloo that what they earn even by the ride is way too less. Pro'lly this is the reason that all of the maids who have worked for us have always left on a very good note and have felt sorry to leave us!
not just the maids Hi everyone, Nice to know that moms are the same everywhere My mom too feeds the maids first before they start working in the house. In fact she buys them monthly groceries also or medicines if they are running short of money. Now she is paying for the education of our maid's son. But in return those women anever say no to my mother. We can leave the house to them in case of an emergency. But sadly that has not been my experience here. First thing, when the maids come looking for work, they quote double the amount they are charging in south Indian homes. I am paying almost twice of their regular salaries because otherwise they refuse to work. This is not the story with one, two or three of them but with all! Not once has any of them had the courtesy to help ask me if I needed help when guests come over, I have a dinner at home or if my child is not well. I followed my mom's policy for some time but realised gradually that it was not bieng reciprocated because they thought they could take me for a ride. I prefer to give away in charity rather than give extra to maids and then crib when there is no gratefulness. At least I give without expectations or strings attached. As for settling here, well one learns to make do within the given circumstances.
Hai Palak, you must hire a maid with the help of the local neighbour, if possible. It sure is a problems bcause they will think that you are very rich, if you say you are doing business. And tell in the start that you would want all the work to be done, otherwise you will ask her to leave. I guess you get better maids in the city than suburbs. My area has many export companies, garment factories, so women who are not able to go there only come for house work. That too, I cannot expect very good work from them. I adjust, cajole, get angry, and that is how it works. The earlier maid left the day before deewali, saying that she will come the next day after the festival. After 2 weeks, one of the maids in the area came and told that she had sent word that she is not working anymore. How's that? And this lady had a special habit, she will glide into the house, finish work and leave without even sayin she is leaving. Very very uneducated and no culture. But she did work better, but would not do as per my wishes. Hope you get a better maid.
Hi all Would like to share my experiences with maids yes maids. In the past 2 years since we have moved to our own house I have had close to 7 maids. None has been thrown out except the last. That too because of her lashing tounge, which I felt highly intolerable. But otherwise I have a good long story to tell about each. One was a small girl of 18 and she was very prompt and worked very clean and agile. Lo we can never say that she is a heart patient. One fine day she fainted in our kitchen while mopping the floor and I had to send her home. Other asked for a high loan which I didnot lend and she left. The story goes on like this. But my current maid who worked for me previously has come to work for me again. She left bec of her personal problems, and now has solved them she came to know that I was in need of a maid and so she came and joined me again. But to all my maids I follow my mother's policy. Once they enter the house give them hot coffee or tea, then if it is morning ask them to eat the breakfast that we eat. And if it is the afternoon too give her the food which is cooked. With all these the monthly salary is given to them promptly on the first of every month. Still they take leave whenever they desire and we cant cut the pay for those days. Also we give them leave whenever we have to go out or staying out for a night's stay. So the tale goes on and on. Cant stop but still I enjoy my experience and learn lessons from them. HAPPY READING:mrgreen:
