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How to make him see sense!?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by smritisinha, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    This is news to me !! Frankly, all this while I was assuming her to be a widow, and that's why staying with you :bonk

    I like SilverTulip's advice. From your description of her, she really looks in some kind of unbalanced state of mind. Treat her like one. Keep on telling your husband how she needs treatment. In fact, I really feel he is not at all a good son if he keeps on ignoring her behavior. She stays alone the whole day. God knows what she will fill up in her head. She is only verbally abusive now. She can turn physical too. What if she tries to hurt herself? Drill it into his head, until he feels guilty about his impotence and starts considering a medical intervention in your house. Spread the word. Tell the neighbors to keep a look at her during day time.

    You may feel its all very manipulative and I'm telling something grossly melodramatic. But look at her from a detached point of view (or tell it to a doctor) and even you will agree that she needs help. It should be easier for you to accept at least, if not your husband. Try your utmost to convince him that you are only wishing the best.
     
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  2. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Tulip & Shreya! Yeah. I guess you are right. I need to emphasise the fact about her 'problem' constantly so my selective-amnesia-suffering husband doesn't forget this.

    I wouldn't involve the neigbours. She has already branded a lot of them as crooks wanting to break our family. Yes, you know we are such a happy amazing family that the neigbours leave all business to break our family bond! :rotfl

    I just need to show that the neigbours behave good. They seem good enough. Its only this lady's thinking that is negative and she looks with a suspicious eye at everyone. So that husband understands that there is a problem with her only!

    Yes Shreya, he suffers from denial like no one else. Why else would he forget the abuses she gives me the very next day calling it eccentricities of an old tired and depressed but nonetheless 'loving' woman??

    I need to learn manipulation from the queen herself. Observe her and play her own tactics on her. That would trap her. Hmm..
     
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  3. soulful

    soulful Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Don't fight. You win!

    And what she says about your parents, is actually a reflection of her own character.

    Practice the blank stare when she goes on a rampage.

    P.S.

    "dehati, gawaar, asanskaari" these words fit her best. don't they? ;-)
     
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  4. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Yes, dont involve neighbors. But yes, make him feel that everyone and everything is fine but his mother suspects them to be wrong/bad. She is depressed with unstable state of mind, right? :twisted:

    Manipulation is the only way in this drama and u need to manipulate the circumstances dear to let ur DH know that he is being a jerk by ignoring his dear mother's treatment and he needs to take her for medical help for her depression! :evil:
     
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  5. DGcreative

    DGcreative Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Gosh Smriti....ur MIL is behaving a twin to my MIL. Just recently we had been visiting our native with her to meet DH's old grandparents (her PILs) I was so happy when she decided to stay for a while there as her MIL was ill. My insides were doing "jhumping jhapang:banana"on our return journey coz she wasnt there in the back seat of the car. 3 days went by with such peace. & then that dreadful morning on 4th day where she calls her dear son that she is already on her way back.

    She had stayed there coz there was some function after 2 days. She had no wish to stay & take care of her MIL. Now situation is my grand MIL is really unwell & the lady who takes care of her had not turned up for the whole week that MIL was there. Still she had guts to leave her ailing MIL without a caretaker & come back. Reason....she cant cook & take care...she herself has too many health issues. Real reason....she cannot pasaarofy on sofa in front of TV the whole day without practically moving her toe for anything. My FIL does every possible thing for his parents. & now I am very sure even he doesnt want her there.....

    Now back here she is fuming that FIL has to cook breakfast for his parents coz the cook comes late:roll:.
     
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  6. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Really too much DG!! shakehead

    What a pity they can't even stand upto the tall expectations they have from us!! They don't care for their in-laws one bit and expect us to worship them daily!

    And the worst part is that they know they are wrong. And even then they have justifications for every act of theirs. 'Because my MIL was never like the one you have' 'I allow you so much liberty, she didn't' 'you dont want to live the life I lived even for a day' and bla bla..

    They got their independence by hook or crook and now dont want us to have it.

    Sometimes I think, they actually dread that their deeds will be accounted for and karma will do the same to them. Hence, the insecurity and unwillingness to leave their son alone..
     
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  7. DGcreative

    DGcreative Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    How do you know she gives me such gyan of how liberalized she is regarding me??

    yaar smriti....even I am fed up this & I dont see any end to this. Last whole evening she was justifying to someone over phone that how she cannot stay at native. It means she is getting pressurized from FIL's relatives (her SIL I guess) to stay there.....FIL himself is not uttering a single word for her to come there.
     
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  8. smritisinha

    smritisinha Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    :rotfl

    I guess the poor man has some peace finally!!! :wink:

    I know she might be giving those lectures because I receive them in huge over-supply too!!

    Yeah.. My MIL also keeps on justifying why she stays here rather than with her own husband!

    Her reasons get wierder by each passing day! The latest reason is that she considers my husband as God! And she lives with us to take care of her God.. If anyone attempts to create distance between her and her God, she will die.. She wants to do seva of her God and hence, she stays with us :biglaugh

    Just imagine how difficult it must have been to maintain a straight face while she was giving me 'Sanskaar channel' telecast of her and her God!! :rotfl
     
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  9. bubblygal

    bubblygal Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Should i prick you to do it?


    Huh well why do you think we ( me and mil ) dont talk when i watch tv?
     
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  10. greenbow

    greenbow Gold IL'ite

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    Re: How to make his see sense!?

    Wow.. she considers you goddess? Tell her she better do seva for goddess too.

    Why dont you attempt to create distance smriti, maybe then she will 'leave'. :rotfl
     
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