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How To Make And Maintain Friendship

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by amnilakshmi, Feb 26, 2020.

  1. amnilakshmi

    amnilakshmi Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    Off late I am noticing that I am unable to make new friends and this is making me feel lonely. Please share ideas and views.
     
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  2. AmulB

    AmulB Silver IL'ite

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    college and school times are the best days to find good friends and become ur buddies for life time as u meet them daily and know in and out. If you meet later in life chances r u don’t have that frequency as ur more mature and know what kind of a person interests you.
    Even colleagues can become good friends if u r working. Or neighbors...
    try being flexible and open minded u can be friends w anyone. And w no expectations.. just be casual friends first then u can see if person gets along.
     
    KashmirFlower and anika987 like this.
  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Well said..Infact as we grow older,we believe in quality in friendship than quantity.

    Infact..after a certain age,half the time we have our own life and worries and things to do,you don’t even care to make new friends..

    OP,If you don’t mind..how old are you?When I was younger..I used to
    Post threads like yours but now I don’t care at all..

    I meet people casually and am myself..you organically Get to know people..
     
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  4. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Also as AmulB said college/school days friendships are over..After a certain age,one needs to also make a lot of effort coz we don’t have proximity like those days.

    You can try some hobby classes..
    Yoga,painting class,any other art class,Zumba,gym etc..you meet many women everyday and slowly and naturally you will get to know each other.

    You will get lot of acquaintances but friendships means lot of time and effort needs to be spent..if it is meant to happen..it will.dont try too hard coz it is just not worth.you will end up losing yourself.

    Also,where are you located?India or abroad?Abroad means more effort is needed.it’s natural..
     
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  5. amnilakshmi

    amnilakshmi Gold IL'ite

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    I am in india.
     
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  6. amnilakshmi

    amnilakshmi Gold IL'ite

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    Thank you all for your responses.
     
  7. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    Friendship is always a conscious effort from both side. It doesn't thrive without that. For that you have to find people who sync with you. It is hard work. Try finding people in your local groups. I dont know where you live, but if you are outside india, desi group or any volunteering group is a good place to start. Strike up a conversation, take initiative. The next person might just as shy as you. So someone has to start. There are opportunities everywhere - you have to try and find the folks that you will like and they alos will have to like you. I met one of our current good friends at a halloween celebration in DD's school. We saw them, DH invited the guy for playing tennis the next weekend, while we ladies had tea, kids played and tea turned into dinner and movie and we all are good friends now.
    Maintaining friendship in these busy days is always a challenge. For me, I usually do not miss any opportunities to meet and spend time. My weekends are mostly free so I can easily do that, it is not the case for other people. meeting up at lease once a month is good in my opinion. Our family likes to meet our friends occasionally, so I am not alone. And I love to cook, so we always invite people to our home for gatherings and make a day out of it - Kids play or watch movie, adults have tea then move on to dinner and movie. We both work full time and all I see is my colleagues and I do not have very many friends in office. This is the reason i made friends outside work. Like anika said, quality of friendship is what to look for. you will find people who are not worthy of your time, when you do, do not encourage them.
     
  8. Trisha14

    Trisha14 New IL'ite

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    I agree with u ankita
     
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  9. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Me neither. One thing I have observed is, if you want to make friendships, don't tell them your troubles, maybe occasionally but not all the time. Tell them about small successes of yours, but not everything. Show a brighter picture to them and always highlight positives. Finally, always be ready to help them. People never make friendships just like that, only when they feel that they will get something out of the friendship - need not be anything materialistic, just good and positive company, only then they will reach out to you. In short, it is very difficult to maintain friendships and relationships among humans. Make yourself useful and people will come to you.
     
    Topaz49, Angela123, mindwar and 2 others like this.
  10. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    Especially true if the friendship is after certain age.
     
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