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How to handle this?Issue in school bus

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by pinky2, Jan 19, 2010.

  1. pinky2

    pinky2 Bronze IL'ite

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    My DS is 6 yr old , a first grader goes to school to/fro in the school bus. Last week, he was pushed by his bus mate, who is in 3rd grade. He got hit in the seat and got a bump on his head and fell on the floor.He said that once he fell on the floor,other kids were walking over him to get onto the back seats.He felt so bad and hurt. He loves to ride in the school bus and tat was his aim yrs before,but now he gets scared sometimes...

    The bus driver saw him lying on the floor and warned him, if he sees my boy again on the floor, he'll make him sit in the first seat for the rest of the year..tats kind of naughty seat.:rant

    I'm just wondering how to handle this, whether To talk to the boys mom(they live in our community) or to the bus driver, sending a note to the principal.
    What you moms say to handle this issue? He'll be going in the bus tomm..today is no school.

    P.S - Months ago, my DS and another boy of his age, had sort of fight where that boy was telling him something like poop,etc.he slapped/punched on his face.So got a note from the school. the boy's mom apologized for his son initiating this incident.
    My DS is not a naughty boy..he is quiet boy.

    Thanks.
    .
     
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  2. pman16

    pman16 Platinum IL'ite

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    5-7 yrs is the age when these incidents happen. Kids learn a lot and try to imitate others. I think you should bring it to the notice of the driver than to deal it yourself (by talking to other kids' parents).

    From my experience, parents (especially moms) do not find fault with their own kids, whatsoever may be their fault. Please do not think that your kid is a quiet boy. I too used to think like that. Our kids portray a 'saadhu' image in front of us so that they can get our sympathy.Dont feel otherwise for having said this. Im telling you this from my own experience. My quiet-n-shy boy learnt to be streetsmart and i didnt hardly realise it. So this is just a passing phase.

    While trying to protect our kids from getting bullied, we should teach them to be proactive. Tell him to keep quiet and if he does that, he will get some gift. Also let him tell you the boys/other kids names from whom he feels the threat.

    Instead of getting into trouble and getting bullied, i feel it is better if his place is changed. Even if he is made to sit in the naughty seat, its still better than being in a trouble spot.

    Tell your son that at home,you can be the judge but in school bus, driver will decide whos good/bad? Let him be quiet and if some kid tries to provoke him, let him bring it to the notice of the driver.

    We cannot always ask our kids to be quiet. When i asked my son to do so, other naughty kids provoke him and try to drag him into conflict. We cannot protect them all the time.I remember when my son used to sit quietly, one boy used to tell him being a coward ( in first grade !) and ask him to prove his power. At home, i told my boy that hes the most powerful (like his favourite cartoon characters) but that is considered bad in bus. He slowly understood and stopped reacting.

    I hope it helped.
     
  3. tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Pinky:
    There are a lot of rules about what is allowed on buses and what is not. My concern is how the bus driver is handling this (or more accurately NOT handling it). The school system will have a transportation manager and you can call that person and talk to them and tell them that the bus driver is acting inappropriately.

    I suggest you get a/some books on bullying and read them. I think they have techniques for handling situations. Seemingly bullying is quite common right now in USA schools.
     
  4. Jithiks

    Jithiks Gold IL'ite

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    Pinky,

    These kind of incidents happen in the school bus. We need to handle these matters carefully and nip any unnecessary developments.

    (1) Talk to the bus driver about this incident in the morning. They will be in a hurry, so keep the conversation brief and specific. Let the driver know that you are going to report this matter to the school principal/teacher/transportation office.

    (2) Tell your son not be scared or nervous. If he is not at fault, tell him to explain the matter to the driver softly next time.

    (3) Send an email to the school principal/counselor/class teacher (mark a cc to everyone.

    (4) Call the school and and make an appointment to discuss this in person. Sometimes, these incidents may appear trivial first, but it is better to take action.

    (5) Please don't approach the other parent/student on your own. This may take a different turn and not all parents are receptive to what you say. It is natural for parents to become defensive even when their own child is at fault.

    (6) Talk to the school principal,counselor and your son's teacher in person and have a clear discussion (together if possible)

    (7) Call the transportation office asap (the school office will have that phone number). Mention the number of the bus this incident had happened, name of the driver(if you happen to know that info, if not they will find out when you give the bus number).

    Mention your concern and the safety of your son. This way, the matter will reach everyone and the driver will also be alert (either way, since you don't know whether he/she blamed your son knowingly or otherwise)

    Bottom line, bus riding is usually a fun and interesting experience for the children provided they have a friendly atmosphere inside. Once they get used to the discipline and rules, they will surely look forward to it.

    Take care!

    Cheers,
    Krithika
     
  5. radhakarthik

    radhakarthik Senior IL'ite

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    something similar happened with my son last week. my son who is 6years old (first grader) behaves at his best usually, follows all the rules and regulations and infact insists others to do the same.
    last week i got a phone call from the principal who had a complaint against my son for his behaviour in bus, i was totally shocked, according to them, he has told another kid that he will punch him,hit him etc..

    later when we deeply investigated about this, we came to know that a 2nd grad kid had been nagging him and asking him to tell all this to another 1st grader and that 1st grade kid has complained about this to his parents, who in turn complained in school about my son and the 2nd grade kid.
    actually the other 1st grade kid and the 2nd grade kid had been teasing my son for quite some time and he has been dealing this on his own.
    and when i asked my son about this, he said that he is scared of the older kid and that is the reason he was telling all these things,
    then we spoke to him clearly and told him not to be afraid of anyone and if at all he had any issues he can tell the bus driver and also us.
    now his seats are changed in the bus and he is much happy now.

    so i would suggest you to talk to the principal and the management of the bus, because safety is first, and clearly instruct your child how to deal during such occassions.

    radha
     
  6. pinky2

    pinky2 Bronze IL'ite

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    First I want to thank you all - pman,tina,krithika and RadhaKarthik for the detailed Reply and sharing your kids' experience.

    We asked our son to be brave and not to scared of anyone, be quite in the bus and inform the driver whatever happens.When the other boy says or does something, we asked our DS to tell him firmly if that boy does the same again, he'll report to the principal.We said this just to warn that boy....if he do anything after the warning, we'll definitely go to the principal/class teache/transportation dept.
    What you moms suggest for this??

    Krithika, For pickup and Drop-off, two different buses are there.Moreover,the bus driver at drop-off is not friendly at all and always has a strict face...So not planning to talk to him and of no use...When my DS lost couple of items in the bus and when I asked the driver,he won't even let me finish my words,,he Said "I don't know,no idea abt it"..What to say then...

    All of your suggestions are of great help to me. Thanks Again.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2010
  7. Pavarun

    Pavarun Silver IL'ite

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    I do not have any personal experience but I would talk to the principal. The principal should be your interface for any school related issues. If they do not take it seriously (they should) work up the chain of command. I would suggest that you call the principal, make an appointment and go in person and talk about this issue.

    Ask that two issues need to be addressed right away:

    1. Inappropriate behavior of kids in the bus - some of these things happen but your child falling down and other kids walking is a safety issue.

    2. Attitude of bus driver. I would think he/she has some responsibilities while in charge of the kids and does not appear to be in control.
     
  8. rithi

    rithi New IL'ite

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    My DD had issue last month. Luckily the driver was friendly so I talked to him and changing seats helped. I any case I will follow the following order

    1. Talk to driver
    2. Talk to school authority
    3. Please don't talk to the other kids' parents, it usually doesn't help.

    Hope it helps.
     
  9. pinky2

    pinky2 Bronze IL'ite

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    Sindhu and Rithi, Thanks for your reply....I dropped the plan of talking to the boy's mom..will meet the principal for sure..
     

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